Ive noticed that outside of the "canned" DHV material i know, i have very little material for pure conversation.

What i mean is when im in group of friends or family i find myself at times just standing there with nothing to talk about. In these situations unless someone else brings something up i have little interaction.

When im in these situations i sit there thinking to myself, "No one is saying anything, this would be a perfect time to say/do something intresting and lead a conversation...", and then i draw a blank on the 'say something intresting' department.

Does anyone have opinions or ideas to get over this? Im not really asking for canned stuff here, just solutions to my probelm. For instance reading up on pop culture wouldnt really help much with my family or my main circle of friends as they dont have much intrest in those things.

My main circle of friends are all good people, but sometimes the way they aproach being social just pisses me off. They are all submissive, passive, and all around lame when it comes to socializeing. While this is good in that it gives me the opurtunity to be the leader and be the one starting convo's....i have trouble at times comming up with stuff to talk about.

Thanks ahead of time guys.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

i understand what you mean. i am looking for an answer to this too. usually i like to be well rounded and have a strong frame so i can barge into a conversation and steer it to where i am most comfortable. my old room mate was good at this. he knew a little about a lot and was very loud and energetic. he would come into a conversation, dominate it, people would listen, and then he would take it to something he could talk about well. i think it is all frame control

See if im given a topic i can generally control the frame, however id like to step it up a notch and actually create the conversations as oppossed to over taking them.

Generally if other people are talkative i can do really well, i can hold the frame for hours. However if they stand around saying little, or worse yet start to split off into smaller groups...i got little to nothing to say.

You know like when a group of friends stands in a circle talking im really good and picking up the convo and running with it, however if things get boring that circle starts to sub divide into smaller circles and people have smaller more personal convo...that i cannot break into easily.

Worst part is i feel im a pretty intresting person but after a night like this it really busts your frame.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

I watch allot of stand up to help me think of interesting and funny stories. I find it is really helpful.

_________________
http://www.realpuas.com

Style said something in his book- He goes on many adventures, be it road trips or overseas flights, just so he always has something to talk about. I've started doing this. Though I do have difficulty opening a set or even approaching one, I have no trouble keeping conversation going. Always having something to talk about is also one of the reasons Style said he travels.

Remember: when you don't expect to have a good time, that's when you should go out. When you anticipate having a good time, that's when you are usually disappointed. - from The Mystery Method.

Ya the wild one knows stand up is the key to this watch Dane Cook hes the man.

_________________

I've found that a lot of the time, its the company you keep as well. Have you ever noticed that if you hang with certain friends.. you can keep conversation alive forever.. but in other cases, it just dies? What i try and do is not to see the same ones over and over every day because I soon get bored, as there arent stories to tell etc.

I feel ya Ka when you say that your friends are submissive/passive and generally lame. What i did to counter this was to enter other circles- for example a boys group which never gets old. Dont let the lame ones bust your frame - i know how bad it can be! i have the same problem sometimes!

Lastly, in addition to travel etc, ive found that reading and or watching certain things can give you a huge stack of things to waffle on about. For example ive been recently reading lots of books, many of which have philosophical or deeper themes which u can develop into conversation.. that or documentaries etc will make you more worldly and help a bit. Hope this helps dude

_________________
Bruce