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If you do something that breaks rapport on an extreme level, whether it be cheating or yelling the shit out of her, DO NOT pack pedal. Instinctively when men do something wrong on this level, we apologize dearly because we've been conditioned to believe that it's the right thing to do. But often times, the right thing to do morally is not the best thing to do for a relationship. Rapport and attraction have an interesting dynamic. When you build attraction, you can break rapport. But you build rapport, you must never break attraction. Remember that women are NOT turned on by men they only have rapport with, the subtext of attraction is a critical element. Without it, all rapport gets funneled through an LJBF filter.
Going back to your example, after you yell at a girl, you've broken rapport and must find someway to rebuild it. But by apologizing and sending flowers, you attempt to build it while SUPPLICATING. She might think of you as a "nicer" person now, but you strip yourself of the higher value allure that draws her to you in the first place. An example of building rapport WITHOUT taking away attraction:
You yell at her. She cries. You guys don't talk for a week. She finds out you're "talking" to some other girl. She eventually texts to "talk about stuff." She says "wtf is wrong with you?" when you guys meet up. You grab her and tell her "You'll never know how much I love you" and then just walk away. No-contact for another week or two, let her imagination and anxiety run wild. From my experience, this routine works 95% of the time.
That 1 statement, delivered powerfully, "You'll never know how much I love you," is all the rapport you will ever need in a relationship. No flowers, gifts, texts, voice mails, nothing. Just that and be gone. That + mystery and dread = Pussy Quakes.
When a girl wants to avoid you because she's worried about something, you must tell her "I'm avoiding you because I'm a monster" or some shit like that. The genius of it is how little it makes sense. It is logically incongruent, yet in the eyes of a woman, you are now what SHE cannot have, even though it is technically her who is not supposed to want you. Never be angry that women do not abide by the rules of logic, celebrate it and use it to your advantage.
I wouldn't say she's in control right now as if you've gamed a girl correctly, your dominance becomes somewhat hard-wired into your dynamic with her. But she's definitely gaining it and you've given her hand by conceding to her frame.
It's also important that you understand this whole thing about you yelling is almost insignificant. I have seen guys do way more fucked up shit and suffer little to no consequences for it. These things come off as fucked up because we've been trained to believe they are so supremely fucked up. So when they happen, the girl ACTS like you just murdered Gandhi. And if you CONCEDE TO HER FRAME and apologize a thousand times for it, you only AGREE with her that what you did was wrong and that you now need to supplicate. After a bit of confirmation theory and post-hoc rationalization kicks in, she keeps going off on it. Remember that women will do whatever it takes to preserve their agency, it is an extension of the female imperative. She is compelled by an implicit need to monopolize your attention and turn you into a beta orbiter; this whole fiasco is just another opportunity for her to say "You fucked up, gimme what I want." The more you treat an issue like an important issue, the more ammo you give her.
Your relationship isn't stagnant, it's just that she is freezing you out. And it's so easy for her because right now she is in the power position. It's always harder for the person WAITING for something to happen, than it is for the person who's waiting to MAKE something happen. So long as she feels no anxiety about actually losing you, there will be no strong motivating force to push her to get you back. We only chase the things that run away from us, are you running away or towards her?
Game is counter intuitive, inaction is often the best course of action.
Her saying that you're moving too fast is not what she literally "means." Remember that a girl only mirrors her internal emotional state. What you did by flipping out was show that there's something INCONGRUENT about you. And when a girl finds something incongruent about the guy she likes, she immediately takes a step back to re-evaluate the relationship. This is when she will say something like, "I think we're moving too fast" or "I think we're too attached." Whatever cliche logical explanation she has seen in movies and tabloids will be the one to leave her mouth.
Unfortunately, when this happens, guys tend to PULL back harder when you're supposed to do the opposite. 99% of the time a girl is not breaking up with you for the reason she is saying she's breaking up with you. In most cases like yours, it will ironically happen because of a lack of ATTRACTION, not rapport. The guy does something fucked up, believes he fucked up, and supplicates to make up for it sooooo much that the girl gains a disproportionate amount of power and loses all attraction for him.
And when/if she gets back with you, pay no attention to this. Never bring it up or randomly apologize for it. When you're an Alpha, a halo affect takes place. Your girl will rationalize every single one of your mistakes if she wants you bad enough. Men underestimate the power of power itself too often. It is simply unfathomable how strong the female inclination to submit to a dominant cock is.
Excellent post. I'm pretty sure Hakuna is some kind of relationship ninja. He just pops in threads out of nowhere, drops some ridiculously solid advice, and then leaves us going, "Holy shit, did he really just post that? Did that just happen?"
-Wolf
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