ok so here goes. im a level headed 23 year old college student. i have met a very attractive older woman which i could use some advice for. ill try to explain everything in detail so you guys can understand the dynamics of whats going on.

so she's a bartender at my favorite drinking spot, one problem is me and friends go there to get drunk, not to run game. when i first met this girl, i guessed her age to be 24-26 but not much more. i started off by raising my social value at the bar and have befriended a couple waitresses and many of the locals. talking to one of my new waitress friends i found out that the bar tender is actually 31 years old and has been in a relationship with a guy for 10 years... but not married. i was blown away by this.

the next time we go to this bar, i meet her boyfriend. this guy is rather ugly.. the guy does have a couple things going for him, but definatly not his looks. so later me and the bf end up going to the bar at the same time and setting right beside of each other. we talk a little more and when she approaches us she first gives me a big genuine smile. the bf looks at me and says something afc about her and she responded with a half ass, (i have to do it because) smile. she servers me fisrt. at this point i think he doesnt like me, but i think she is starting to get interested.

later me and a friend go to the bar and get her attention. we have a great conversation about random shots we picked off the wall. she offers to join us with our shots. i gave her a hard time about being so forward but then let her join in. after that i run a routine and win a free drink from her. at this point she has just ignored the rest of the busy bar for a solid 5-10 minutes. later in the night , when it was slower, i would glance over at her and make eye contact. she would lock for about 3 seconds then smile and turn away.

so my friend is definatly not helping out here. he admits there is some attraction but thinks that i have no chance with her because of her current relationship. he has even gone as fas as to challenge me to a bet that i cant get a date and at least a kiss from this girl.

so now i have to go there and stay sober so i can run game on her. she is very attractive very level headed, very intelligent, and rather classy for a bar tender. i dont believe that the bf is much of an obstacle. i believe i can build attraction with her, even when im drunk. my bigest problem is how to transistion from the attraction phase to the comfort stage. any advice on how to proceed would be great.

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~the great thing about america is you dont have to listen if you dont want to~

You need to get that girl out of the bar. Get a "Day 2" going asap. Show up late in her shift and take her on an instant date to a late diner when she gets off, or schedule a coffee meeting.

You said she's classy so a "fool's mate" looks out of the question. You'll need to spend some time outside of the bar creating comfort.

You got attraction pegged on the girl! Now move into comfort, and eventually seduction.

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Say goodnight to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on.

Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Betta get outta his way!

thanks! i know i have to get a day 2 but she usually works the last shift.. until 2 am. so a date the same night will be hard to pull off. i kinda have a couple ideas about how to get the day 2 but they are not very solid and i think im intimidated a little by her age. on top of that my wingman is gone for the next month. so i will have to either find another wing or go solo.

if anyone has any ideas that work well with bartenders please share!

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~the great thing about america is you dont have to listen if you dont want to~