This girl has a 5-year-old daughter, but as far as she knows, I don't know that. She's avoided bringing it up and hasn't mentioned it yet. Considering she stopped wearing her glasses around me after I gave her a very ambiguous neg about them once...and she's really into me...what exactly should I do here? To be honest, I'm sure the daughter is great, but I'm interested in dating her Mom...and not having to take care of someone else's child.

Note also: This girl is a 9.5 or 10 easily. 23-years-old...not married. She's worth the trouble.

Should'nt matter to you, it's not like you're going to get married.

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Yes, my name really is Ray Casanova

"With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured."

If she is hiding her kid she's a piece of shit anyway. Maybe she wants to make sure you're not playing games before she brings you around her kid, but either way she should letyou know.

What should you do? lol

Come on man she's a 9.5 or 10. Take the lying bitch to a hotel, swallow a couple viagara's and smash that pussy like there's no tomorrow.

Maybe she's just protecting the kid from meeting her sexual partners? I think that's somewhat responsible.

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http://www.realpuas.com

You said she stoped wearing glasses after you made a neg about them. This means she is self-concious and cares about your oppinion of her. She thinks you will look down on her because she has a child. Honestly, I wouldnt let it bother me (she is a 9.5/10 after all). If you are planning on having a relationship with her, just make sure you are not the kid's "replacement daddy" (basically, dont put yourself at an inconvienience taking care of someone else's kid). I dont agree with Caveman's response of just smashing and never speaking again. If shes a 10, you gotta have more respect for her than that.

She's interested and doesn't want to put you off by bringing up the kid, or she doesn't want to even have you meet the kid, but she likes you. Go with it, don't bring up the daughter unless she does and don't be phased by it. You don't need to get in that deep, just be interested in the mom and keep away from her place, keep stuff to other venues like the mall, the bar or your house.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I'm sort-of dreading the moment when she does bring it up. Because we're starting to spend more time together etc.

Should I just say "I know" then move on? I'm not very interested in having something to do with another man's spawn. Sorry if that sounds bad. Actually...I could probably just say "I know, that must be a load." Then change the subject...that should send the message clearly.

Also, while I'm saying things that might sound bad...but without getting into too much detail...do you guys know if having a kid...ummm...loosens a chick up significantly? I'm curious about what I'm 'getting into' there.

You're thinking about it too much, stop worrying that she is gonna want you to take care of her kid, just think about her. When she mentions her kid, don't tell her that you know, just see what she says about it. Don't get all paranoid and defensive about not wanting to look after the kid, or send messages in the subtext, just show her that you are interested in her and she should get the picture.

As I understand it girls muscles tighten back up to about the same level as before giving birth.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Good luck, because what I take from this is... She's gotten knocked up once, and she didn't have an abortion. If you knock her up, odds are she won't have an abortion.

Keep that in mind.

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Say goodnight to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on.

Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Betta get outta his way!

Look, ignore caveman up there. That's the kind of guy that gives us a bad name.

As far as her being tight or loose after having a kid, giving birth does not make the pussy any looser overall. In fact, the first time she has sex again, in about 6 weeks after birth, normally the pussy is a little tighter, because nothing has been in it. So, to answer that question, don't even worry about it. Damn bro, seriously, you are really overanalyzing stuff that doesn't even matter.

On the issue of the kid. She's actually being RESPONSIBLE by NOT introducing you two at this point. She shouldn't be introducing you two unless SHE feels that there is a solid future there. If her having a kid bothers you that much, you NEED to just cut her off now. PERIOD. Because if you mess the mom's head up, it will affect that kid too.

1. I seem to recall a post saying this forum was a "safe haven" for asking your honest questions and airing your insecurities.

2. I like this girl. A lot. That means I think about her a lot...so yes I've analyzed all kinds of things.

3. Who else could I ask the loose pussy question of? My mom or dad? My family? My friends who don't want that much information? This is the only place I could think of.

I appreciate your help but don't get an attitude or judge me for being honest.

One-itis times 2.

What I meant was, if she doesn't want to bring you around her kid fine. She shouldn't bring you around till she knows you are going to be in her life for awhile.

That fact that she did not tell you she has a kid is messed up. She doesn't know if that is something you don't want in your life right now.

I'm sorry, but if this chick becomes your girl, her kid comes with her. As far as financially taking care of the kid, thats not your responsibilty. She has a father, but be prepared for the spare tire later in the relationship when you go out.

GT, as saq said, I'm not judging you man. I simply said you're being overly critical. Sure, you are really tied up mentally with this girl. But, that's the main problem too. Once you get yourself so tied up with a girl, the chances of you breaking your mental frame and screwing things up with her DRAMATICALLY increase. The very OPPOSITE of what you want.

Yes, GT, this IS a safe haven. That's funny that you are trying to turn my own post around onto me.

If you've read much of my stuff, you know that I'm blunt. Don't mistake the bluntness for crudeness. I just prefer not to beat around the bush for a page and get to the point in a short space. I'll beat around the bush when I write fiction, or when I'm in the field talking to a girl. When I'm giving advice to a fellow bro, I prefer to get STRAIGHT to the point. I don't have time to sugarcoat it.

Now, I answered your questions honestly and completely true because I've been there and done that with those situations. I've been with women after they've had kids, more than once. I've been with women that have had kids that weren't mine. I've been around those things. And, I've got my own kids. So, yes, I'm speaking from experience.