*Facebook Statuses that convey Value* DHV



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 3:45 am 
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Hey guys just warning you be VERY careful posting some of these status updates. I posted the Titanic one earlier today and literally minutes after it went up my ex commented "Do you steal your status updates from Pinterest?" followed by someone else posting "I bet he does.". Both getting a couple likes and it turned into a bunch of people just ripping me a new one for everyone to see. Bottom line just be weary about using some of these cuz most of them are actually on that f*cking Pinterest thing and I'm discovering it's very hard to recover after being called out for something like that.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:32 am 
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Yeah I've been definitely getting the same vibe from some of these statuses.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:42 am 
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Quote:
Hey guys just warning you be VERY careful posting some of these status updates. I posted the Titanic one earlier today and literally minutes after it went up my ex commented "Do you steal your status updates from Pinterest?" followed by someone else posting "I bet he does.". Both getting a couple likes and it turned into a bunch of people just ripping me a new one for everyone to see. Bottom line just be weary about using some of these cuz most of them are actually on that f*cking Pinterest thing and I'm discovering it's very hard to recover after being called out for something like that.
these are all great status updates! however, you guys are genuiuses.... :wink:

google any of these and there it is, in BIG F*CKING LETTERS: "PUA FORUM". I was about to post one, but I decided to google these.

WATCH OUT. TAKE THESE AS A HINT BUT EITHER MODIFY THEM ENOUGH TO LOOK GENUINE OR MAKE UP YOUR OWN! Happy hunting!

On the other hand, what are the chances anyone will really google a fb status. but if they like it enough, they might. esp. a pissed ex. or something.

@arcana: anyway, why would anyone keep their ex. as a friend on fb? dude, that's like an invitation for trouble and could be interpreted as desperate? remove her! esp. if she posts that sort of shit! my 2 cents


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:19 pm 
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Quote:
Hey guys just warning you be VERY careful posting some of these status updates. I posted the Titanic one earlier today and literally minutes after it went up my ex commented "Do you steal your status updates from Pinterest?" followed by someone else posting "I bet he does.". Both getting a couple likes and it turned into a bunch of people just ripping me a new one for everyone to see. Bottom line just be weary about using some of these cuz most of them are actually on that f*cking Pinterest thing and I'm discovering it's very hard to recover after being called out for something like that.
That can be a problem, some of the ones I write, I post on other web sites. My online profile I shared on here was copied re-written and used about 6 times. When 1 chick Googled it led her to HERE, she chewed my ass! My recovery, I said Wow I must be that good, everyone wants to be ME! lol. I still managed an Fclose 8)

I suggest changing to fit YOUR style. And as said before, the chances are slim!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 9:34 am 
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Some will argue that any kind of facebook status updates demonstrate lower value. (DLV). And claim that high status, important people are busy and dont hang around on the internet updating their profiles. This can be true, because some high status people are very busy and don't have time to hang around on the internet, updating their profiles, chatting up new people.

However, you can post interesting statuses that will stand out, people will notice them and you can instantly gain value in their perspective.

I found this recent study in Men's Health Magazine. Over 890 women were polled: "What impresses you most on his Facebook page?"

Results:
Clever Status Updates 28%
His music/movie tastes 24%
A hot picture 23%
Family photos 17%
Tons of friends 5%
Political leanings 3%

It is ultimately your preference on how often to update your status and how you want people to perceive you..

I'm on the internet a lot being a student and I update my status every 2-5 days usually. Just depends on my mood or if i think of something clever that i'd like to share with my peers. My statuses usually don't tell people what Im actually doing unless its unique/interesting. It's always something funny, clever, flirty, cocky, witty or interesting. I NEVER post anything like "work 4-7 then sleep" "eating cheetohs and watching the packer game".. I cant stand those people.


Here's a bunch of statuses I like. Some I have tested, others will soon be tested. :)
==============================================================

"___thinks brunettes do it better." lots of girls qualifying themselves.

"___is out saving the world.......one girl at a time ;)"

"___is debating whether or not he should contact his physician about his erection lasting more than 4 hours." lots of comments

"___just noticed that someone got onto his facebook and deleted all the hot girls :("

"___has been cleaning up his friends list... if you're reading this, congratulations! You're still cool! But don't get too comfortable :P"

"....seriously.. is there any girl out there that can even keep up?"

"___is officially (your college)'s #1 bachelor."

"___is tired of girls just wanting him for sex.. Im a human being with EMOTIONS!"
or
"___is tired of women treating him like some kind of sex object. I have feelings too you know!!" lots of comments

"...a one minute kiss burns 26 calories, so if you need help working out, I've been told that I'm a great spotter."

"___is now accepting Girlfriend Applications. Must be 18 or older to apply. "

"___has had enough of girls that are only beautiful on the outside" - got a bunch of likes from guys and girls and a couple girls comments.

"____is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, spontaneous fits of joy, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you."
or you can tweak it up with "until you know how ____ affect you do not drive or operate machinery."

"___is the next big thing."

"___FYI, here's a little known fact : beer does not make you FAT- it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs, walls and ugly people"

"____ 's charm is so contagious that a vaccine was created for it."

"____ is a lover not a fighter, but he's also a fighter so don't get any ideas."

"____ once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels."

"___is now accepting applications for an Evil Sidekick."

"....forecast for tonight, lots of alcohol, with a very high chance of passing out, getting arrested, and possibly getting laid. heres to a night of good decisions!"

"___thinks women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. "

"___is chasing whiskey with high fives."

"___is wondering if anyone knows where to buy a comfortable, inexpensive manthong?"

"___is wondering if he can bring Sexyback without a receipt?"

"___thinks beauty is common.. find me a girl who can make a killer lasagna and then i'll truly be happy"

"___likes big butts and he cannot lie."

"___is the opposite of modest, immaculately polished with the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid." borrowed from T.I - Live Your Life

"___ Insert emo comment here."

more to come.
add to the list!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:07 am 
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I posted the parking spot one... too funny


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 7:57 pm 
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Not bringing anything to the post, but I felt like writing something so I can keep in track of this post!

Great great great topic!

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:04 am 
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Once again these are based on an account with 700 friends...& your welcome.

"I accidentally used AOL to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future" -33 likes

"Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you." -51 likes

"They'll always want you back when they see you being happy without them, dont fall for it." - 38 likes

"Don't expect someone who gets around to stick around." -36 likes

"Nothing brings two people together like the mutual dislike of another person." -30 likes


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:52 pm 
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The cop asked me for my papers. I gave him my Zig-Zags. I think he prefers Jokers.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:20 am 
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Great list, thanks!

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:38 pm 
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I know this is supposed to be used more as a Routine, but I tried it out on facebook and the outcome was pretty fuckin funny.


FACEBOOK STATUS: (17 LIKES)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matt Gilliland: Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This'll only take a minute. one of my good friends girlfriend just found a shoebox he keeps hidden in a dresser drawer, and she's really upset about it...

COMMENTS:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diahann Minson Cott hmmmmm....well.....whats in the shoebox? ;)

Jared Valdez Lol.... The game haha

Matt Gilliland It's nothing that bad really, just old pictures of him and ex-girlfriends and old love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some reason his girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to throw it away or she's threatening to break up with him.

Diahann Minson Cott Ugh...it would have been sooo much easier if it had just been shoes in the shoebox!!!

Matt Gilliland LOL.... right.....

Matt Gilliland Honestly tho, do you think she is right or wrong for doin that!?

Andrea Finney The real question is why is he keeping all that stuff in my opinion?

Aimee Monares Sieber Past is the past, I think it's sweet he kept those things. She needs to get over it and be comfortable knowing he is with HER. sounds like a trust issue.

Matt Gilliland Well I guess for memories some of it is from highschool prom etc. I think she is bein too jealous!

Aimee Monares Sieber I have albums and photo boxes full of things and my husband has an entire trunk. Guess it just depends on her insecurities - clearly. It's kind of fun to look back at those times

Kevin Hamilton Guys keep those things???? What a homo..

Aimee Monares Sieber HAMILTON!

Kevin Hamilton MONARES!!!!

Aimee Monares Sieber ‎;)

Diahann Minson Cott He needs to bury the box in the yard.

Diahann Minson Cott Do I know this "friend"?

Ana Gabriella Alvidrez Agreed with Andrea .... why hold on to old memories there's a reason they are ex girlfriends ... why must you need a constant reminder of your past when he has the best thing to look at and make new memories with everyday ;)

Kevin Hamilton It's Matt. He just doesn't want to feel gay for having a shoebox of memories he pulls out and looks over while watching the notebook and cries with a tub of Ben and Jerry's!

Matt Gilliland LOL! DAMNIT KEVIN YOU BLEW MY COVER!!!

Aimee Monares Sieber Ha, well maybe this guy is just a good guy. It may not be "normal" per se but I'm friends with my ex who actually introduced my husband and I. We are all still friends and go to family/friend gatherings. If it didn't end under "bad circumstances" I don't see the problem of having the box.

Aimee Monares Sieber Matt, just hide the box in a better place if you don't want to hear it from a jealous new girl.

Matt Gilliland Lol I don't really keep any of that stuff myself, i think prom pictures are all that I kept.

Matt Gilliland I'm not the culprit lol I dont have a girlfriend.... lol

Aimee Monares Sieber Hahah.

Matt Gilliland oh and kevin did you notice on my status it said i need a FEMALE perspective...... i guess that means by you giving me input on here you are basically callin yourself a girl :)

Jayne Malahy I would say the past is in the past. She needs to have a little more confidence in herself. She can't tell him what to do she isn't his Mom she can say that maybe it makes her uncomfortable. He IS NOT cheating and they aren't married so honestly needs to suck it up!

Aimee Monares Sieber BAM Jayne! :)

Tiffany Beatty Linton Girls hold onto things like that all the time, so i dont see why a guy cant do the same lol. I think he shouldnt have to throw anything away and she needs to get over it. As long as hes not lookin at it everyday i dont see the problem. I could understand her anger if he looks at the stuff allll the time.

Aimee Monares Sieber Matt funny story, went downstairs and seen Travis' year book his mom just brought from Illinois...there was a handwritten letter about his senior year and finding a special girl....Hehe. its so cute to look back at those things

Andrea Finney Nothing wrong with being friends with your exes and keeping the pucs but the hiding of the pictures makes it weird

Andrea Finney Typo :)

Matt Gilliland lol DAMNIT AMIEE will you stop acting like I think this sort of thing is cute lol!!!! I think its cheesy, and don't do it i just wanted to prove this chick is overly jealous lol!!! :P

Matt Gilliland lol Andrea you do have a poiint i guess haha. he did have some pics of him and his exes like on vacation and stuff haha.

Tiffany Beatty Linton I guess it also depends on how serious their relationship is


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:49 pm 
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Who wants to come join me at my Facebook hot tub party? (No bathing suits allowed!)

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:39 pm 
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Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you.

A woman's sleepy voice is seriously the sexiest thing ever.

Ms. Wrong might be friends with Ms. Right.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:53 pm 
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45 likes

"Everyones first attempt at a passionate kiss looks like a mule trying to eat a sugar cube through a split rail fence."

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:36 pm 
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I never say I'm sorry because I don't like to lie.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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