Hi guys, if you've read through past messages of me, I have a bit of a jealousy problem over facebook messages. Long story short, I have GF's psswd, she has mine. We didn't asked for each others psswd, we just exchanged one day.
Now, there are guys who hit on her, and ask her out, and she says "Alright" or accepts the invite, but, here's the part I don't get: she never goes, and she says she really never has the intention of showing up.
Now, there is one specific guy that Im starting jealous of, this guy has a girlfriend, but says to my gf that he liked her, and she liked him to, but not anymore.. she met him on sunday (i was with her) and she said that she just wanted to see him to remove that little "spine" of seeing him, now she says she doesn't even care about him.
They have also said a few times about meeting up, either to eat, or just talk, she says yes, but then again she never shows. BUt here's what has been bothering me this time... she said that she'll go to his work, on sunday, but she didn't mentioned just to see him, but she said she'll go to see "them" .. so I guess its a few friends.. now... I have talked ot her about seeing some other guy and she says that she would make sure theyre never alone, either by inviting friends of her, or inviting me.. she says she'll always invite me but if for some reason I can't go she'll invite some friends so they're never really alone.
Now, I know she will be with me most of Sunday.. I have even talked to her about waking up early for breakfast.
OK, but why would she give me her password, and arrange "meet ups" with guys, not show up, I mean, accept their invites but without the intention of showing up. Whyy?? Why does she do that??

Having her facebook password and her having yours is a BIG no no. The reasons behind this is simply every little message you see from other guys, is just going to rile you up and eat at you. In this case, ignorance really is bliss and you need to trust her.

I know it's hard when your mind is thinking, BUT ALL THESE GUYS WANTING HER??? But that's what she wants from you. She gave you her password because she likes making you jealous and it makes her feel needed. However, this is the wrong way to go about it, because it will give her a feeling of comfort about your relationship and not attraction.

You see, truly a man who was completely confident with himself wouldn't give a fuck if guys where hitting on their girl. In fact, you should be grateful that other guys are mirin what you have. What you need to do is stop revealing that it gets to you, it's something that will turn her off. You need to guard how you feel about it as if you are guarding your reputation.

You need to stop looking at her facebook. You need to stop caring about who she's going to see. You cannot stop a girl from cheating, if she was going to do it then she will do it. If you try and stop that and there really is nothing there, you only just drive her away. Think about how silly it sounds that you need to bring it up so that you can have some kind of reassurance that she wont do those things.

Try this instead:

- Stop looking at her facebook (even her profile.)
- If she mentions any guy, don't ask her about it. In fact change the subject.
- Mention other girls that are friends. "Got to meet megan today." "whose megan?" "oh you don't know her."
- Change your password

Thanks for your reply, and to be honest, I have tried, but its so hard, I've never felt this before, this kind of jealousy towards ONE guy.
She has said to me she doesn't care one bit about him, or anybody else. But WHY? That's the point I don't get, I just found out she told him she'll go to her work to see "them" for 2 hours on saturday, and now I'm all insecure about it. Will she tell me? She claims that she'll tell me everything. But, like she says that she just tells them yes without the intention of actually going, or if she goes, she'll take me or other friends. What's the point in telling them even a day ..
A girl sent me a message, asking me out, and I told her I was with my girlfriend, she saw that message. Why can't she give me the same amount of respect I'm giving? I was thinking of answering this girl the way she does over that guy, just so she knows how I feel. Or maybe I am actually overreacting, she claims that if she truly believed that she was doing something wrong, she would've never given me her password for me to see. She says I don't even have to be around her, or tell her if I read her messages. So maybe then in her head it means nothing?

theres a few guys hitting on my girlfriend too, the way i look at it is they are trying to fuck her while i actually am, its me whos in the driving seat and me acting all jealous will only make them seem more attractive.

aslong they are only talking as friends i'm not bothered, the second it gets more then that she's gone out of my life without so much as an arguement

Ok, I get that, she's with me, she love me, likes me, she has even said to never have felt something this strong for someone before. I turn her on so badly, I make her orgasm a lot of times on bed. I'm the best she's ever had. I get all that.
Now put yourself on my shoes, how would you feel if you say that she arranged to go see someone on Saturday, or any day for this matter. She tells me she doesn't actually plan on going (Or at least hasn't told me about it, I guess I'll find out Saturday). Would you feel disrespected if she arranged to meet with guys, even without the intention of seeing them? That's what I don't get. Why does she do that?

i'm not too sure to be honest but in no situation should you lose your cool and accuse her of anything or start shouting at her, it sounds like she's testing you to see your reaction, once you react you lose.

But if my gf met another guy i'd probably really calmly dump her then completly freeze her out

There are several issues at hand here. First of all , Most girls get hit on several times a day . Facebook is only the tip of the ice burg . This is just a fact of life. Its just a fact you will have to come to terms with . I agree with adamtaste said about not looking at her FB changing your password and mentioning other girls.

Secondly , obviously you can't unsee what you have already seen.You however are her bf , so I say tell her that you dont want her seeing this guy friend. Dont rationalize your thought to her. Just tell her you feel disrespected. And tell her you no longer will be looking at her fb but will trust her to do the right thing.

You should never loose your cool.I know its hard to let your emotions get the better of ya . Remember never give into a girls shit test . Any time a girl introduces competition to a relationship it lowers your value so you also must let them know that they are not your only choice. It sucks i know but sometimes its what you have to do .

If she actually met with him, without telling me, I would finish her of course.
Man, right now my mind is a battlefield ... on saturday I will be all paranoic, but I don't want her to know that ... Im afraid that if I call her she'll be at the mall... I was even thinking of going there to buy her a surprise gift.. and what if while I'm there, I see her there, but she didn't told me?
All these scenarios are going through my head right now:
Scenario 1) She doesn't go, she never planned on going, but she likes the attention they give her.
Scenario 2) She tells me she is going, invites me or her friends
Scenario 3) She doesn't tell me she is going, she goes, and I find out abruptly.

But the part that is bothering me the most. If she were hiding it, she'd never give me her FB Psswd! So why arrange a meet, let me know about it (indirectly) ... Im just thinking right now she either wants to make me jealous, or just loves the attention guys give her.

I talked to her again about it, she said she doesn't talk to him a lot now, and in fact, yesterda they didn't talked a lot .. I don't think he even has her phone number, anyways.. she told me she was going to stop talking to him, or at least not as much as before, because she was seeing it was causing us problems, then I saw that they were talking and my mind playd tricks on me again, then she told me about the conversation they had. Shewas angry at me, because she says its not even worth a dime, so could our heads really be so different that she doesn't see that as threatening, rather harmless?

I dont want to tell her to stop talking to him, I know she would do it, but I don't want to be that kind of boyfriend. I am just waiting for this weekend to see what happens... I want it to be over already .. I want to stop feeling like this!

Whatever you do, i repeat whatever you do DO NOT let her know you are paranoid, the less she thinks you give a fuck the less likely she is to actually meet him.

If my gf met another guy she's gone, wouldn't scream or shout or accuse her of anything i'd just bin her and forget her.

You gotta stop looking at her fb though, dont buy her a surprise gift either, she's behaving bad at the moment so doesn't get a reward.

If she meets him i advise dumping her though, just do it all calm and composed, then dont text her or anything for a long time, you'll be surprised how quick her attitude will change

Hi all, and thanks for your responses and advice, I am much calm now. Why?
Well... I showed her a message of someone hitting on me then she showed me the message of this dude, where they "supposedly" would meet up on Saturday, I mean, she showed it to me, I then asked her if she'll go and she said no, and if she did, she'll go with me. She says, and I agree with her, that that is one part of her that I may never understand. She told me how this guy, and not only this one, but every guy hitting on her; how they always "arrange" a meeting but she always cancels on them. EVen sometimes she's the one to propose it, and at the end she'll cancel, or make up some excuse to not show up. With this guy in particular, he had even bought her tickets for concerts, and she has cancelled on him. I am calm now, because I trust her, even more when she tells me the crude reality, because I know it to be true.
I guess, that either she likes the attention of guys hitting on her, or she doesn't want to say "no" in a rude way.
Either way, I still don't understand.. maybe one day I will.

You're thinking way too much into it, if you wanted to cheat on you don't you think she would have done that without having you to find out. She was honest with you all way long so i say you just leave it. She knows that you know her password and always checking up on her so take them as shit tests. + You need to know the more you start checking up on her the more likely you'll start pushing her away from you. So my advice to you is just to leave it and talk to other girls in a FRIENDLY way.

spot on

these are all shit tests, so completley ignore them

I don't care what anyone else on this thread has said about just ignoring it.

You need to address this issue.
Why is your girl telling other guys "yes" she'll meet up with them instead of just saying no I have a boyfriend. Even though she's says she's not going to meet them she shouldn't even be entertaining the idea.

That guy that knows you're her boyfriend and is still trying to talk to your girl and meet up with her. He doesn't respect you or your relationship and your girlfriend is disrespecting you and making it worse by entertaining the idea of them getting together in front of your face and you're not doing anything about it?
I would not be tolerating this type of behavior.

What if a girl sent you message saying "She wants to suck your cock" and you responded "Alright" then you show that message to your girlfriend think she'll be fine with saying yes to her. Hell no

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You are right, i'm shit at wording stuff over a keyboard, i mean i'd ignore this blatent shit test for now, if it keeps happening i'd call her out on it, something along the lines of.

wait for her to bring the subject of meeting guys up again
'are you actually meeting these guys or is it just to try get a reaction out of me'

if she says shes meeting them or shes doing it to get you to react you just wanna look at her real calm like you do it everyday and say
'well i dont think me and you are gonna work then sorry'

then walk straight out and go no contact, if she likes you at all she'll be chasing you out of the door or be blowing up your phone, if not then she isn't really into you pal

As I said, and as she said to me, that she doesn't know exactly why she does it. Maybe she needs more time, she has confessed to me that she is still scared to give me her "everything". Even she doesn't know why she does it, I don't know either, maybe she likes the attention, or likes keeping them around, and to be honest, those would be fair "excuses" so to speak. She has even told me that she has been this way with a guy for almost 2 years, always saying they will meet up, but never showing up. I don't know why the guys keep insisting though.
I adressed it to her, one time when we had only a month, and I told her I felt disrespected, and she did what was supposed to do, which was blow them off. Now, to adress the fact that she doesn't say a clean "No" .. here's an example:
Guy: Lets go eat this week!
Her: alright
Then she would change the conversation.
She says she doesn't have a problem if I say "alright" to girls on meeting up, as long as I don't show up. Its a complicated stuff for me, and some of my girl friends say they do the same thing, its nothing "wrong" for them.
Maybe with time, she will come around, when she develops more trust and feels safe to give me her "everything" .. maybe then. She has even made remarks on deleting her FB account.
We'll see... we're only 2 and a half months into the relationship.