So I've been dating this girl for almost 3 months now. We haven't had sex yet but were about to a couple nights ago but she said she doesnt sleep with guys she isn't in a relationship with. Im looking to have a relationship with her though so I brought it up (hadnt brought it up before due to some circumstances where I felt it wouldn't be a good idea) and she said that she wants the independence of not being in a relationship and just basically remaining friends that hook up. I explained to her that I'm looking for more serious of a relationship and told her that if that's not what she was looking for then we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. At first she agreed but a few minutes later she started asking me why it had to be that way and I ended up telling her I didn't want to rush her into anything so I'd give her some time to think about it. My question is what do I do now that will help my chances of being in a relationship with her?

Thanks guys.

I think there are lots of things that we don't know and I don't think any guy here can help you with that because we simply don't have enough information. For what you've mentioned I'd say give her more time and "prove" her that you are boyfriend material, maybe she has had bad experiences before... etc
Do you know what I mean?

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12

you jumped the gun too early. bullshit she doesnt want a relationship. she isnt completely into you. women who say they dont want a relationship are lying. if theyre into you enough they will want a relationship

[quote=""Phantom""]So I've been dating this girl for almost 3 months now. We haven't had sex yet but were about to a couple nights ago but she said she doesnt sleep with guys she isn't in a relationship with. Im looking to have a relationship with her though so I brought it up (hadnt brought it up before due to some circumstances where I felt it wouldn't be a good idea) and she said that she wants the independence of not being in a relationship and just basically remaining friends that hook up. I explained to her that I'm looking for more serious of a relationship and told her that if that's not what she was looking for then we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. At first she agreed but a few minutes later she started asking me why it had to be that way and I ended up telling her I didn't want to rush her into anything so I'd give her some time to think about it. My question is what do I do now that will help my chances of being in a relationship with her?

Thanks guys.[/quote]

Okay, you've been dating a girl for 3 months and you haven't had sex?! Why? This type of thing is only acceptable in high school or if either of you is still a virgin. Is she at least going down on you or giving you frequent hand jobs? If not, then this is NOT a relationship.. you've been in the friend zone for three months and you are doomed.

In what context did she tell you that she doesn't have sex with guys she's not in a relationship with? Was it while you were messing around? If so you failed at getting over her LMR (last minute resistance).. 80% of girls put up some token logical explanation about how they can't have sex with you even though they clearly want to have sex with you (it's one last shit test to over-come before you can get laid). Handle it like any other shit-test.. ignore it (cave-man style), call her a perv for assuming you want to have sex with her (i.e. tease her), or withdraw your attention by stopping escalation and changing the subject (then try again in a few minutes). You failed it because you took her seriously. Then, you failed even more by pushing for a relationship (that's the girl's job).

Going forward you should continue to mess around with her while also seeing other women. She wants an open relationship so give her an open relationship. The only way you're going to recover from this is by showing her that you are a high value male who has options.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Thank you for the replies. I'll add that yes I'm still a virgin. And I did take things slowly but she knows that sex isn't something I take lightly. I'll also add that even though I have a little oneitis with this girl I'm also not completely afraid to jump back into the dating scene. I'd like it to work out but if it doesn't then it doesn't.

reminds me of a situation i was in a couple of month back.

A girl gave me the ljbf text, she was used to us texting all the time so me freezing her out bugged her, she text me that night apologizing saying she regretted it, i told her 'i'm fine just dont message me for a while ' which resulted in her ringing her mate crying down the phone.

she text me again the next day asking if i was in a mood with her, i said 'no i never was i'm just bored of this cycle we are in, if your next message isn't something along the lines of can we meet then dont bother sending it i'm just gonna ignore it'

That night i was pulling her lil knickers down and she's now my gf who seems big time into me

my point is if she says she doesn't want a relationship then act like your not arsed and freeze her out, if she likes you she'll come back and thats when you tell her to either sort it out or leave you alone

[quote=""Phantom""]Thank you for the replies. I'll add that yes I'm still a virgin. And I did take things slowly but she knows that sex isn't something I take lightly. I'll also add that even though I have a little oneitis with this girl I'm also not completely afraid to jump back into the dating scene. I'd like it to work out but if it doesn't then it doesn't.[/quote]

it might help you to change this to, ''sex is something that is not a big deal''

and if you did jump back on the dating scene as you say you will be surprised how quickly her attitude changes, right now she thinks either rightly or wrongly that she can say 'jump' and you will say 'how high'

The amount of women who have tried messing me about then quickly changed thier attitude after they realise they either choose me or lose me is unbelievable

[quote=""Phantom""]sex isn't something I take lightly. [/quote]

This PUA deal isn't for you, yet.

Seriously.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

The way relationships evolve:
1. Boy sees girl.
2. Boy tries to seduce girl.
3a. Girl (selector) turns him down. End of story or even worse friendzone (=you).
3b. Girl (selector) agrees to the boy's offer (selectee)
4. Boy gets pussy.
5. Girl wants to be more than an open hole.
6a. Girl dumps boy and fucks someone else (when no rapport was established)
6b. Girl will use her techniques to get relationship. (when rapport is established)

Never in this proces is it the boy who is asking for more than casual sex.

it might help you to change this to, ''sex is something that is not a big deal''[/quote]

I completely agree with you, however that's really not the way I feel and I understand that's completely un-PUA of me. I don't ever try to make sex seem like a bad thing or a big decision, I just would rather have it be part of a good relationship than a quick hookup. I learn good things from this forum though and that's why I come here . Again thank you for your replies.