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 Post subject: Ask Starbuck
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:02 pm 
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I prepared this for another non-PUA website and it turned out to be funny, as well as helpful to those just starting out, those new to the game or those who never learned to begin with. Yep, you guessed it that's most guys. Hope you enjoy it.

In the future women are likely to make more money than you, and have as much if not more power.. It's just a fact of the modern world.. So it pays to learn how to meet them, let them know that you're available and that you are ready, willing and able to do your part.. Now of course you could just do like a friend of mine and play the numbers. He walks up to one, asks her if she wants to get naked, etc.., if she says no he moves on to the next one.. In other words he doesn't give a shyt about women, and they know it (that's why he sleeps alone most nights).. But occasionally he gets lucky.. If your ego can stand the abuse go for it.. But if you're like me, you want who you want. And you want an experience from a gal that will give you a hardon when your laying on your death bed just thinking about it. Not just whatever easy skank that happens along. Might as well jerk off and look at a magazine or something.. You know, like you did when you were 12 years old. So....

Here are a few tips from a former Truck driver who's been married twice, dated everything from strippers to wealthy gals, and has spent more lonely nights than he cares to mention. All before the modern PUA movement and the widespread availability of the internet. Ever heard the old saying about necessity being the mother of all invention?

Women like older men.. There's a reason for this.. Older men know women, and generally have more resources.. And they don't get frustrated and disgusted every time a women doesn't fall at their feet. They're also a known quantity. So if you're young, ditch the overbearing bullshyt, consider yourself in training and realize you've got a handicap. You're day will come. So will plenty more women. In the meantime hang around women and make as many friends as possible.. You'll increase your chances of getting lucky immensely. Remember, the guy that gets laid is most often the guy that's around at the right time.. If you aint around, you aint gettin' laid, you're getting a stronger bicep. There's a happy medium of being around too much, or not enough.. Pay attention to her and her cues and she'll let you know exactly what to do. Relaxed is cool, pushy isn't. Remember she has a life too, and she needs to fit you somewhere into her social picture to start.. Remember a woman's world revolves around a social network. And they are alot better at it than you are. Think of it like getting a job, and in the end the reward is a promotion onto the Sealy Posturepedic +. Also keep in mind life isn't fair. You need to play the game, and let her win. When she wins you win too.

1. Be well groomed.. And go easy on the cologne. Desperation is the kiss of death with women. If she senses desperation or that she's the only fish you're frying, she'll turn off like a light switch and you'll be stuck working out alone.

2. Be nice and polite at all times.. They'll be plenty of time to take out your frustrations in a constructive way later.. Besides her daddy maybe loaded. This should not be confused with not exhibiting alpha male type body language, and a comfortable relaxed manner. Gaze into her eyes like you're trying to look through the back of her head. It literally destroys their will to resist every time and will gain you a tremendous amount of respect from them. Couple with a half assed smile and a cocky funny attitude and you can't lose.

3. Know which women are immature, dense or trouble and avoid them at all costs.. They will apply the same set of standards to you. Smart women are the best women.. Big tits, and Barbie doll looks are nice.. But they don't always make the best experiences.. Trust me on that one.. Do yourself a favor, leave other men's wives alone.. It's probably all he's got.. You, on the other hand think in much larger terms. If she even smells married, find a better target.

4. Do a realistic assessment of yourself in the mirror.. Are you overweight? Do you slouch? Make changes. Push ups 3 times a week is a good place to start. So is cutting back on the fast food, etc.. When you walk into a place act like you own it. Glance at every attractive woman there.. You're letting them know I'm here, and yes you want to notice me. Constantly strive to change aspects of your life that put you in conflict with women. You like working 150 hours a week, and keeping women in their place? Learn to like exercising your arm as well, and watching other guys getting the ladies to pay their bills instead. Among other things.

5. Talk alot, and to as many people as possible when in public, etc.... Consider it training.. If you don't cultivate the art of conversation you're going to be lonely for along time.. Buy a good book and a dumbell.

6. Be patient.. There are a number of reasons why women, especially the higher quality variety are cold initially, and you shouldn't confuse this with disinterest.. Here are a few..

a. They want to make sure you are not jack the ripper..
b. They want to make sure you can handle it emotionally, and wont turn into jack the ripper..
c. They want to make sure you don't eat people.
d. They don't want to wreck their lives or the relationships they already have..

It's all about becoming a part of her social network, then building attraction, rapport and trust. If you can't build trust with a woman, you wont be alone with her.. Go to the bar instead and find a drunk girl. And to the doctor regularly to get a checkup.

7. Be honest.. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to women.. You aren't good at making new buddies, especially girl ones? Say so.. She will be impressed and will help you.. She may even have a few lonely girlfriends..

8. You've got to be hungry. Learn to enjoy the chase.. It's half the fun but usually the most excruciating part for guys.. Women love it. If all you want to do is get your rocks off, get a towel and some lotion.

9. Find activities where there are women.. You like hanging out with the guys at the pool hall, or down at the local bar arguing about NASCAR, plan on being lonely.. Commonality is the key.. You make it 100 times more difficult to hook up with women if you don't have anything in common other than 'hey, I want to jump your bones as soon as possible'.. Women aren't stupid, and you can't afford to be unless you like watching Leno alone every night and paying your own car payment.

10. Lose the bad habits.. Look women in the eye when you talk. Make her break the glance. Learn the art of the half assed smile, and keep it on your face most of the time.. Joke about sex, yourself, or the world.. Never about her or the female species.. It's OK to make fun of her, in a lighthearted way. Make fun of yourself too. Always be indirect when talking about sex, especially when you don't know her very well. You're a guy, she already knows that you want to bend her over the hood of your car or you wouldn't be wasting your time. Look up the word 'ambiguity' and learn to apply it in conversation.

11. Learn to take a hint.. Carefully observe what cues she's giving you.. Women are a game of indirect communication, body language, etc.. When it's time to leave, or take this up at a later time, excuse yourself, go home and fantasize about her then plan your next excursion into enemy territory. She's probably doing something similar. Actions speak louder than words. If she's not giving you any cues, she may come around, she may not. Be a good sport, and know when to move on to greener pastures. And always leave her with some way to get in touch with you, if something changes.

12. When she wants it to happen it will. She knows, you don't. Play along and keep coming back, if you can.. Think in terms of sound bites, a little at a time. You need to have time to reflect, and so does she. Remember you're trying to get laid, not rejected because she didn't want to do you in the dressing room on aisle 6 within 5 minutes of laying eyes on you. Think in terms of weeks and months, not days.. This is a partnership, not a dictatorship. The only women that a dictatorship approach will work with are usually damaged goods, or quickly boring and aren't worth the trouble..

13. If she gets annoyed, or tells you in a round about way it ain't gonna happen, it probably ain't.. Move on, or retreat.. Things could change and you probably will never know why. So don't beat yourself over the head about it.. She maybe trying to do you a favor. Like keeping you from getting beat up by a squad of Marines and dumped in a dumpster someplace.

14. Genuinely like women.. If you don't like women, they will know it. Don't waste your time. Go to the whorehouse instead, or go fingerfuck your toys and wish you had better plans tonight.. Never get mad at a woman you're trying to seduce. Treat them like a child instead, act distant, or ride off into the sunset and tell her you'll call her, etc... You want to reward good behavior as you see it, not bad. So does she.

15. Be a gentleman.. All that stuff about nice guys finishing last is just that, bullshyt.. Women like confident men that can express themselves, not assholes. But when that's all that presents itself, they sometimes take what they can get.. Could be you instead. They don't like playing guessing games anymore than you do.

Let me share a little psychology lesson with you..

There's a big difference between how you see yourself and how the rest of the world sees you.. Most often you're much harder on yourself than others are.. Knock your self image up a notch.. If you think you're not good enough, not handsome enough, or not big enough, etc.. you've just defeated yourself.. People you meet are not in your head, and they aren't thinking about this.

One more thing about not being big enough? Women don't care, unless you got part of it chopped off by your last girlfriend.. You'll just have to trust me on that one.. That's why God gave you a tongue and fingers.. Women love to be kissed.. Gently and passionately. If the woman you're with doesn't want to be kissed, and you're alone with her it's not a good sign. Offer her a ride home or let her out on the side of the road in a lighted public place preferably. Because you're probably getting played.. Oh yes, so you thought you were the only player on earth, huh? Nope.. Consider her a dope and not worth your time. You have no obligation to be her therapist or chauffeur unless she's paying your bills.

16. If you're attracted to a woman and you're alone with her, touch her (in a non-intimate place like her arm, knee, hand, etc..).. She'll get the idea and will help direct you to a better place or two.. Never apologize, you don't have to apologize for being a man and having manly desires. If she resists, etc.. stop and consider it a victory that you have something in common.. Remember, be patient above all else.. It's May 5th.. What's wrong with getting laid in June or July especially if she's worth the wait?

17. And remember there are no guarantees in life.. Easy come, easy go.. Don't sweat it, and keep the antenna up. Think situational awareness.. The next opportunity is right around the corner.. Practice makes perfect. It's not easy for anybody. And making friends can sometimes be as rewarding as making lovers. Women want to like you.. You just need to help 'em a little bit. In return they will rock, and vastly improve your world.

It's time to declare the 'battle of the sexes' officially over, at least for you anyway, and its' time to claim your booty... :wink:

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Last edited by Starbuck on Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:33 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:08 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 6:11 pm 
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Quote:
1. Be well groomed.. And go easy on the cologne. Desperation is the kiss of death with women. If she senses desperation or that she's the only fish you're frying, she'll turn off like a light switch and you'll be stuck working out alone.
Sweet, I'll be first! Elaborate on the cologne=desperation? Or was that a frame change. How much cologne is too much? I usually go with one puff on the neck/chest area. There a way to test it?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 6:36 pm 
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1. Be well groomed.. And go easy on the cologne. Desperation is the kiss of death with women. If she senses desperation or that she's the only fish you're frying, she'll turn off like a light switch and you'll be stuck working out alone.
Sweet, I'll be first! Elaborate on the cologne=desperation? Or was that a frame change.
It's your frame. This is ask Starbuck remember? :lol:

Ok, back to my frame..

Most guys put too much cologne on.. What I like to do for spray colognes is spray one spray in the center of my chest and rub it around, putting a little right under the rear jaw area, right below the belly button, etc..

For concentrated, non-spray or oil based colognes, I put my finger over the bottle, tip it up then use my wet index finger starting at the rear of the jaw area, down my neck on either side of your adams apple. This allows it to be smelled when you're kissing, etc.. but doesn't make you a walking cologne commercial.

And guys, go easy on the Axe. I know it's quite popular, and thanks to clever marketing, you can come out smelling like a cheap whore in the 'Big Easy'. This is sign of desperation.

Point being, you got a good game you don't need loads of cologne. Hell, some of my best pickups have been day game when I didn't have any cologne on at all..

That being said, always wear an effective deodorant.
Quote:
How much cologne is too much? I usually go with one puff on the neck/chest area. There a way to test it?


Sounds like you got the right idea..

The best way to test it is with a friend.. It should be slightly detectable within your personal space (from contact to about 3 feet or so) and more so at contact range. Anything more is too much.

Of course different colognes have different degrees of strength in regards to max effective range, so a little experimentation when you get a new cologne or after shave is always a good idea.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:35 am 
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About #7 i thought you weren't supposed to let them know you lack female friends and that your weak ?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:01 am 
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About #7 i thought you weren't supposed to let them know you lack female friends and that your weak ?
Damn good question..

Nothing weak about honesty bro. The world is full of weak liars.

That's the trouble with reading a book and taking everything literally.

Pre-qualification is important to most girls, especially young ones in the short term during the rapport building process. And nobody can minimize the value of a good pivot.

But don't expect a good relationship, and don't expect trust when she discovers your lack of congruence (women are 10 times better than this than you are). And don't expect to work your way through her circle of friends once she finds out what a real weasel you've been from the gitgo. Just to get in her pants.

Honesty is important. Especially around intelligent and together women. Those tend to be the ones I gravitate towards. Especially at this stage of my life. Anti-desperation is what I call it.

One lesson I leaned years ago was that although I wasn't going to make it with every girl I met (if anybody claims this, don't buy the book), I've been set up more times by these same girls than I can mention. It would have never happened without establishing trust and a level of high status behavior. DHV.

I'll give you a perfect example. Women like married men. Women don't like married men that lie about being married. Makes sense really. Nothing like getting your foot slammed in the door. If a woman knows not to think of you as a long term prospect, it doesn't mean you wont get laid. It simply means that you wont break her heart cleanly in two once she does find out that you're not willing to dump your wife for some young lickety split.

I mean if that's your game, then have at it. You're likely to get away with it when you're young and still playing the fools game. My character means more to me than any woman or any short term sexual relationship. And in that regard that's what makes me more attractive to women as well. Being comfortable and honest about who I am and what I stand for.

I never said the game wasn't filled with irony and potential pitfalls at every turn. Emotions themselves are ironic. Especially when they conflict with your reality. Better to walk away than sell your soul and your own personal integrity for some short term romp in the sack with Miss Pretty. Some guys never learn. They just suffer endless strings of broken and self sabotaged relationships.

Like I said, if that's what's important to you then have at it. Just remember, the patterns you set today will likely be with you for most of your adult life. Basic honesty and integrity within reason when dealing with others should be part of it. And is a part of confidence and social status that one needs to ultimately be successful in the long term.

No better lesson than meeting a lying, scheming and conniving woman to put it all in perspective for you. She should be avoided at all costs.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:53 pm 
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1. Be well groomed.. And go easy on the cologne. Desperation is the kiss of death with women. If she senses desperation or that she's the only fish you're frying, she'll turn off like a light switch and you'll be stuck working out alone.
Sweet, I'll be first! Elaborate on the cologne=desperation? Or was that a frame change.
It's your frame. This is ask Starbuck remember? :lol:

Ok, back to my frame..

Most guys put too much cologne on.. What I like to do for spray colognes is spray one spray in the center of my chest and rub it around, putting a little right under the rear jaw area, right below the belly button, etc..

For concentrated, non-spray or oil based colognes, I put my finger over the bottle, tip it up then use my wet index finger starting at the rear of the jaw area, down my neck on either side of your adams apple. This allows it to be smelled when you're kissing, etc.. but doesn't make you a walking cologne commercial.

And guys, go easy on the Axe. I know it's quite popular, and thanks to clever marketing, you can come out smelling like a cheap whore in the 'Big Easy'. This is sign of desperation.

Point being, you got a good game you don't need loads of cologne. Hell, some of my best pickups have been day game when I didn't have any cologne on at all..

That being said, always wear an effective deodorant.
Quote:
How much cologne is too much? I usually go with one puff on the neck/chest area. There a way to test it?



I know some antiperspirants and deodorants interfere with the cologne or combine to make a funky smell. I get the Right Guard Fresh Spray stuff. It worked well at first, but now I am finding my smell seeps right through it. As it seems to with all deodorants. I need something that will not overpower my cologne, but will also be able to cover onions. haha



edited by Starbuck for clarity.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 3:10 pm 
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Great point Locke.., I've gone through various times thinking about this as well. And currently seem to have a formula I'm happy with.

I wear the fresh scent right guard as well, but the the antiperspirant variety that goes on dry. I've used it for years. It is very effective. I used to use it while as a long haul truck driver, it literally lasts for days and isn't sticky.

It has a mild, but still masculine scent which doesn't conflict with most colognes. But then there's also an unscented version as well.

I like to layer my scents. I use a scented shaving cream (I wont reveal the brand although it's very cheap). It has a great scent, and alone it seems to attract girls like bees to honey.

Same for my shampoo. I also use unscented soaps and laundry detergent.

In that regard I suppose everyone needs to experiment with which scents, or not match their own particular body chemistry.

I find one can practically cover their natural scent if they apply too much of this kind of stuff. And this can be counterproductive. In my opinion, you want to supplement your natural scent not overwhelm it.

We absolutely live in an over deodorized world. Maybe that's not such a bad thing for most people. :lol:

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:34 pm 
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Awesome man.

Ok a few questions, extending the "smell" thread:

1) Have you ever negged a woman on her perfume? When is it OK to do this?

2) How do you deal with her compliments regarding your cologne/deodorant?

3) How do you deal with her negging/shittesting you on your cologne/deodorant?

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:51 pm 
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Awesome man.

Ok a few questions, extending the "smell" thread:

1) Have you ever negged a woman on her perfume? When is it OK to do this?
Great questions.

I can't remember ever doing so. Most young women are experts at the whole perfume/cologne thing. At least the ones I'm normally attracted too, which isn't average.
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2) How do you deal with her compliments regarding your cologne/deodorant?
Thanks, with a grin. :wink:
Quote:
3) How do you deal with her negging/shittesting you on your cologne/deodorant?


It's not an issue for me. Remember I'm a married old guy, therefore all my stuff comes already tried, proven and pre-selected by other women.

I almost never get shit tested by a strange woman anymore. As an older fellow my game has progressed to the point where I suppose they don't find it necessary.

I also don't wear a lot of scent, since most of my game is day game. Usually a good deodorant and perhaps a scented shaving cream, shampoo, etc..

I also use unscented soap and laundry detergent. Now you maybe wondering why this is important? In my view, we all give out natural scent signals to members of the opposite sex. By being over deodorized (I'm not talking about being clean which is always a good thing), we mask and cover up many of these signals.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 6:23 am 
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hey man I'd love your input
helpreeling-her-back-in-vt12634.html
how can I recover from my needy response if I have a busy schedule?
thanks


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:51 am 
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hey man I'd love your input
helpreeling-her-back-in-vt12634.html
how can I recover from my needy response if I have a busy schedule?
thanks
Sure man.

She's shyt testing you. In a manner of speaking. This is chick meets strange guy 101. She's basically saying she likes what she sees.

From the description of your small talk, you're focusing too much on the goal and overanalyzing the situation. Which causes anxiety and doubt.

Forget about the possible outcome and just escalate. Get out with 'em as soon as you can, and see if you like them, and see if she's really into you first. Then work on isolating her, and take it from there.

YoungG, the problem is guys too often work backwards. Since they determine in the first minute or two whether they want to bang a chick or not, this is the frame they operate under. Get that out of your head. You'll either come off as anxious, or creepy or something.

Chicks on the other hand want to hang out with you, then warm up if they're interested. And if they are, you'll know it. If on the other hand they ignore you, excuse yourself and make a graceful exit.

You need to get out with these chicks. That's the first step. Then you can determine if you want to proceed from there by trying to isolate her or her friend.

As for the busy schedule or timing issues, you'll just have to work around that.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:24 pm 
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Hey Starbuck, where are from in the Palmetto State, I am goin to USC next semester. What kind of cool stuff is there to do in Colimbia? I sure appreciate it.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:30 pm 
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Hey Starbuck, where are from in the Palmetto State, I am goin to USC next semester. What kind of cool stuff is there to do in Colimbia? I sure appreciate it.
Hey Slie.

I'm near Charlotte bro. Columbia's not my stompin' ground.

But the university area's a cool place. You'll like USC. Hot S.C. peaches all over the place, and great weather. :wink:

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:17 pm 
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Hey Starbuck,

How are you bud. I have a few questions for you, and I really appreciate you taking the time to answer them =), thx bruvvvaa.

1) What is/are some of the ways you can keep a relationship interesting.
2) Any tips on phone game? To stay interesting, and so forth.
3) Should you still keep negging, threw a relationship.

Any other tips are appreciated on keeping a relationship interesting and from getting boring in genearl. =) thx bro


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