Hey all,

In short I started interacting with an HB7 from my social circle. I was able to convince her to come to my house one night and we chilled and made home made ice cream. I got a few things of light kino but since I'm still new at this and she is LDS kissing didn't happen and I read some negative body language (arms crossed on couch with pillow on lap). Aside from lackluster kino escalation we had fun and laughed a lot. After there was another interaction that didn't go so well (didn't pay much attention to her but led the crowd) and I thought we were done, but then I decided "eff it" and called her to ask her on a second date. The call and asking went really well and I was very confident in the exchange. Due to a change in my work schedule though I had to plan it a week out (this is relevant to what happened)

Since the next date was so long away I found myself overthinking on how to keep her attention. I sent a picture message of something we had joked about from out first date and didn't get a response. I shrugged it off and tried not to over think it. Two days later we come to today.

Basically, I had an anxiety attack as a result of my shift change at work. My new shift has me working late evening (not off till 9:30PM) and I became very worried over maintaining a social life, especially with regards to dating, and basically just let the anxiety get to me. In those pitiful moments I got to thinking way too much about this girl. She posted a funny bs Facebook status about someone bringing her lunch for work. I got the ridiculous idea to order a pizza and have it delivered to her work, and I did just that, leaving a hint on the status update to the tune of "Good things come to those who are patient." It was only after the deed was done that I realized this was likely a terrible move. When the pizza was delivered she texted me asking if I had sent it. I simply replied, "yeah." and she replied, "That was unnecessary, but thank you."

My problem is that I know I can be a reactive person. I can be over sensitive and read too deep in to things. Recently I've gotten around this anxiety to the point where I can just tell myself to chill the fuck out and maintain a calm persona. Stress with my schedule change wrecked that state, and this reply, along with the general coolness of her interactions of late, snowballed in my brain to something ridiculous. I've calmed down now and looking back, while I don't think this is was as terrible a move I once thought it was, it was by no means something that helped me and would have been better not to have done.

The date is still on, assuming she doesn't flake last minute (I'm prepared to admit there is a decent chance she might), and I'm trying to think of how to play this out cleanly. The plan now is that if she brings up the Pizza in a negative light I'm just going to say I had a gift card that was going to expire soon and had no plan to use it and figured whatever. Aside from that I'm planning on maintaining radio silence till a few days before the date to let her know basic logistics. As for the date itself, I'm thinking of a no pressure situation in a public venue of some kind.

I'm looking for opinions, critique, and most of all perspective.

Honestly m8, the pizza move seems sweet but it seems unfounded. You have no real connection with her, and I for some reason can't help but see where the attraction is.

Seems like she is being very herself by saying it wasn't necessary but THANKS.

Definitely AFC but AFCism results as you know from a man's perceived value of a woman in terms of idealistic societal values. You wanted to be sweet and be spontaneous and got her this pizza...but it's something that's in-congruent with this interaction. Seems like she knows you are doing this to get close to her...but she's thinking you think she can be bought by displays like this. A very big turn-off.

I don't know what on earth's name forced you to order pizza, but realistically the pizza is NOT the problem. The whole thing is.

Good news is, you realize it wouldn't help. I just wanted to detail that more. Now if she brings up pizza again...I like the whole REFRAMING it.

"oh i just went down my facebook friends list to see who i could surprise with pizza. One of my friends even said, pizza...the hell can I do with that?! I don't like cheese. But I saw your fb status and thought PERFECT. I bet you were all like awww guys he bought me pizza. Haha nice idea of a romantic gesture. *tease* and eyeroll. Did you start telling all your friends? *laugh* "

Yeah, AFTER the fact the whole thing doesn't feel as big of a deal as I thought it was. If it comes up again I'll reframe it like discussed. I see the merit in your example, it simultaneously demonstrates higher value and totally nullifies the awkward aspect of the situation.

I think the principle thing that affected me today was stress. I'm normally not stressed out unless a very big change takes place in my life. Moving shifts from morning to night and facing the reality that my social life is being fundamentally altered hit me harder than I thought it would. As a result I looked at my actions and the situation as a whole through a warped, irrational, and paranoid perspective. Now that I've calmed down things don't seem as out of whack or problematic. My attachment to the girl itself has significantly subsided (if she were to flake I wouldn't feel like it's too big a deal).

With a plan to reframe the situation prepared, if needed, I guess I need some direction on what to do from here. There is still six days between now and the date. I'm feeling it would be best to leave her alone until a couple days before and provide logistics (dress casually, etc). Just keep it chill. No texting, facebook stuff, or calling till then. Just doing my own thing. I also need to develop a plan for the date itself. Most of all, I need to focus on keeping myself detached and confident regardless the outcome.