Hi, it's getting very frustrating with my gf, as she is a virgin and doesn't know what she is doing... I slept with her 2 nights at her place, and one at mine. I have escalated slowly up to a point where I have gone down on her. (no sex yet and I have not made her give me anything)

Last night I walked her back to hers, thinking she would invite me back. I could not understand why she wouldn't, honestly thought we were past that stage... I asked her if she wanted to come back to mine, but I did NOT ask to go back to hers. I walked home from hers, then she texted me asking if I was home and my response suggested that I was NOT pissed off at all.

Anyways, I'm wondering if I tell this girl that I slept with another girl, who lives near her, as I did not want to do the 1 hour walk back. I will say that she was the one who offered for me to stay round hers, and that I took up the offer simply because I did not want to walk. I will also say that nothing physical at all happened, and that I did not cheat in any way, I just slept on her bed with her. This might make her realise sleeping with someone is perfectly normal, might make her jealous, and might make her realise she has made a mistake in not inviting me up?

Thing is, I want to make out as if what I did was slightly wrong, as
I do not really want her sleeping with anyone else (I don't think she would anyways but still). Plus maybe the thought of me doing something wrong because of her, will make her buck up her ideas?

Thoughts?

So you want to tell a virgin girl you slep with another girl? because you were pissed for her not opening her legs... a virgin.

Are you fucking serious...? If you do that you will never fuck her.

Good luck with that. My advice is be PATIENT.

SHE IS VIRGIN FOR A REASON

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Woah woah woah lol calm down.

Maybe I explained it wrong. Firstly thank you for your reply, and maybe yes I am being a bit desperate, thank you for making me see that.

But my point was this, she did not invite me back (even though we've been round each others houses before), I did not want to walk back, therefore I stayed round a friends. I did nothing sexual with this friend.

If your just trying to make her jealous because you are upset, then it's a bad idea. Not inviting you in doesn't sound like bad behavior, under the circumstances. Therefore, you shouldn't try to punish her (and if you DID have a valid reason to punish her, then this wouldn't be the way to do it).

If your virgin girlfriend is a freak who thrives on strong emotional states, then there's really nothing wrong with telling her.

-Wolf

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cheers you guys... thinking about it, gonna take your advice I think I'm just thinking too much about things

There is a trend here of guys dating these lame virgins. Then they make a big deal out of putting their hands down her pants for a full 5 secs before she bats away like they've just won the lottery. Even dry humping fully clothed is a major accomplishment to you..

You guys make the conscious decision to date these girls knowing she's not giving it up. To me you guys don't really have much skills with women you settle on these girl because they showed you some attention it just so happens you drew the short straw and ended up with a virgin. You're scared to break up with these girls for fear you'll find no one else. So you stick around hoping she's going to change when she's clearly voiced she's not having sex.

Me personally I don't deal with virgins like this. But if i was dating a virgin you better believe I'd be getting some ass on the side.

You guys put yourselves through pointless headaches you're really considering lying about some other girl to get into your girlfriends pants it should never come to this.

Quit complaining about your frustrations you've got no one to blame but yourself for just sticking around. If you want sex go find another girl who's willing to put out.

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Amen to that, brother. Half of the reason these girls don't put out is because you're giving them so much attention and headache trying to get in their pants. They like it and want it to continue. Once they put out, they're afraid you'll probably up and leave them.

Sadly, they're not always wrong...

Simply to state my defense and show other people that you are wrong, I found out she was a virgin AFTER we started going out. Because her being a virgin or not, was not something I was taking into consideration before I asked her out, as it is not important to me.

I have been with women before, and after a certain amount of time, you realise life isn't ALL about sex.

I am not obsessed, or desperate, the reason I am asking for advice is because I have never been with a virgin, which makes me very inexperienced in this kind of situation. Things usually come easy, and I always get certain reactions from girls, but this time things have been different.

The reason I want to 'get down her pants' so badly (it may seem), is simply because I want her to feel good, if not now (as first few times may be weird/scary/painful/whatever) then feel good in the future... and maybe I have been guilty of thinking stupid things, and maybe it is because being a pick-up artist and all the things you read in books and on this forum, has not really got anything to do with long term relationships.

I'm not saying pickup techniques are stupid or don't work, but I am also not saying it solves all your problems. It is important that people know this.

Previous thing I said still applies, girls afraid that after you have sex with them you'll get bored and leave. She wants the whole thing to continue. So she does that. Double goes for a virgin who wants her first time to be with someone special. If you get bored afterwards she'll really feel stupid.

Only an idiot buys a car before he test drives it first. Same with making any girl into a girlfriend you've got to test out the goods out first. You ended up with a lemon and didn't realize it until after you drove it off the lot.

Yes you are obsessed with getting sex from her otherwise you wouldn't be coming up with such stupid ideas to get sex from her. Next you'll be trying to fake your own death as means to get in her pants.

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I thought Zelda was the name of the princess in those games

lol I think what Reo and Chief are insinuating is, you aren't being a Man. I've dated virgins before, it takes a maximum of a month to get them to have secks with you, but 2 weeks is the average time.

To address your idea, don't do it. Never overtly communicate competitive anxiety, you only want to hint towards it. Even if you semi-overtly communicate it the way you're doing, you will build too much resentment. She will be even less likely to sleep with you; jealousy is a very powerful, yet also volatile emotion. Even with plausible deniability, the way you're thinking of doing it, you risk coming off as a chump who can't get secks from his girlfriend, and then sleeps non-secksually next to other girls to get his fix. And worst case scenario, remember women are fuckin ninjas. What if she befriends this girl and finds out you were lying? You're fucked.

You're better off literally gaming this other girl and putting real SUBSTANCE behind that competitive anxiety. A man with options has a different aura about him, one that gives drips to his girlfriend's vagina.

Your real problem is much more fundamental.

Just think of your response to Reo, "We were already going out." That doesn't mean anything. Let go of the social conditioning that tells you that you're TIED DOWN to a girl because you committed to her. If you're not happy in a relationship, get out. If you're not being secksually satisfied, get out. If you're in a lame ass passionless relationship, get out. The only reason men stay in dry relationships is because their options are limited and so they seek security out of dependency/desperation. Without an abundance mentality, even the possibility of a lukewarm vagina seems enough to COMMIT to a girl. And then they justify it with a self-medicating white knight complex that tells them they are being a good boyfriend by staying loyal to a girl who won't put out.

Fuck that shit sideways.

You MUST understand WHY women have secks. Biologically, it's because they want to mate with an Alpha Male, or in a world of betas, whichever male has the most most reproductive value relative to others. But then shit gets tricky.

What if she hasn't found a guy she's EXPLOSIVELY attracted to? She might settle for one she's only a bit attracted to, to indulge in the emotional benefits of a relationship.

What if she HAS found an "Alpha Male," but she's in a monogamous relationship with him? Unless she feels ANXIETY, she will NOT fuck him. He's there waiting for her like a fuckin chump, patiently fantasizing about the pussy handout that will eventually come...hopefully. She can take all the time she wants in the world.

Fuck... She can just stay a virgin, and wait to put out for a better guy. The guy gets more and more desperate, eventually beta backsliding into a permanent AFC

Do you see where I'm going with this? The cunt obeys the cock, you need to dominate her pussy. That night she didn't let you in and she texted you later, "are you home?" she just wanted to reassure herself that it was ok that she didn't invite you in. And what did you do? You reassured her that it was ok. You should've ignored her text.

Instead of making up some story about you and another girl to find some backchannel to her vagina, TALK TO OTHER GIRLS. If it comes down to it, FUCK other girls.

I always notice young AFCs talking about how bad it is to "pressure" your girlfriend into secks. Are you fucking kidding me? That's what you're SUPPOSED to do. A girl must always think "shit, if my boyfriend isn't secksually satisfied, he's going to find someone hotter and better than me to be with." If she's thinking "It's ok, he will wait because he's a nice guy =)" she's gonna find a different man to treat her like an object in bed.

The desire to have secks with a guy who can DOMINATE her is the most carnal of primitive instincts in women next to maybe the mother instinct. There is no greater pleasure for a woman than to submit her vagina to be plundered by a cock that'll own it. Nothing more alleviating than COMPETING with OTHER women to keep a cock to herself.

She wants to GIVE HERSELF, mind body and soul, to a guy who says "We're fucking, or I'm leaving." Someone who truly believes "I can do better than her, I am the male reincarnation of Elvis Presley." Women are not enticed by men who wait patiently.

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Actually, I was genuinely being off-topic. Sorry. I'll leave lol

I'm going to offer my opinion:

Her virginity is not about you. It shouldn't be a game to you (not saying that you think of it that way.) Virgins are lame in bed anyway, and her first time needs to be absolutely special and ALL ABOUT HER. Remember, most girls that have sex for the first time with someone chemically BOND with him in a really intense way. Keep that in mind.

That being said, I'm not criticizing your choice in girlfriends. But don't try to get her to sleep with you by making her jealous.

If you just stayed with a friend and didn't cheat on her... it shouldn't be a problem or even something you need to bring up in the way you are suggesting. I think that you're looking at the situation as possible ammo to GET her to do something.

If she sleeps with you, it needs to be because you both earned that moment together. In the right way.

If you can't be patient and are getting frustrated... then get another girlfriend and leave her immaculately alone.

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- Zip

so you never tried to have sex with her before you started dating? wow