How do you deal with the monumental flaking in online dating



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:49 pm 
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I wanted to ask what guys do about this, as in whether they just ignore it, as they know it's part and parcel of online dating, or if they directly mention to a lady that she's a flake in a witty serious or humorous way and if so how, especially with women who don't use Facebook, or they do, but not that much.

Like I'm aware of Sinn's Flake Elimination Toolkit book and have it, but it relates primarily to in person day and night game approaching, not to online, which he has a very low opinion of.

You often hear people who actively run game in the real world, negatively disparage online dating, because it comes with a monumental amount of flaking and I agree, we should also be doing approaches in the real world and I'm
starting to. I ask, as it's a topic most online game guides cover very poorly, in terms of how to creatively deal with it online, or whether you even should.

I don't mean with women you message and they never even respond, as an attractive lady who's at least an 8 and has good photos, can get 20-30 messages a day.

I mean with women who do respond to an initial message sent and give you their phone number, you call them, they agree to meet up and when you do text them about meeting up somewhere on a certain day - time that's agreeable to them and their schedule, they flake and don't respond.

Like one example is a female, who's over 35. She gave her phone number, which was mostly always switched off to presumably screen calls.

I got her one night when her phone was switched on, told her she was hard to get a hold of, we spoke briefly, as she didn't seem like she was a great converser, both online and also in the duration of the brief call. I said I'd text her about meeting up, but no answer from her. I sent a 2nd text then saying that I'm guessing she isn't that serious.


Last edited by Hydro1 on Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:56 pm 
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With online...simply move to NEXT!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:24 pm 
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With online...simply move to NEXT!
Exactly, I've only been online dating for about a week or something now but the "women are disposable" mentality is a million times more applicable online than it is offline.

Cast a wide, wide net and you might just find one half decent girl.

I still find it fun though 8) which is the main thing.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:20 pm 
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I am looking to arrange a date in no more than 3 emails. Nearly half of all dates will get postponed last minute. This is not about you, it is about them and their issues with meeting new people and measuring the importance of dating in relation to other obligations such as work, friends, or family. When someone cancels, I believe it is best to tell them to "have a great night, we will catch up another time." They will either respond back to reschedule or you will need to contact them a couple days later and attempt to make immediate plans... not something days or weeks away. If you can't get it done... NEXT!

When you got her on the phone that one night your close to the conversation should have been setting a date. Telling her you would txt to make plans was (IMO) a mistake; I don't understand your rationale in putting it off until later. You needed to lock her up right then and there and show her you are assertive. I will speculate that you came off as either needy, desperate, or unsure of yourself while you were speaking with her.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:49 pm 
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That's the problem. People wanna jump on and arrange a date in three emails.

Try going to a club, and arranging a date in three sentences. I mean if you're super hot, maybe. But for us mere mortal PUA's there are three things you can do to not get flakes:

1) BUILD more attraction and comfort. I mean, the women I meet are worth taking a week to build lots of comfort and attraction through texting or what ever. If you can do that they will want to go out and sometimes even ask you out.

2) plan fun dates they actually look forward to.

3) learn to pickup on when it's time to ask a woman out.




Look at my posts from about a year ago. I had a HUGE problem with flakes online. I took time and figured out what I was doing wrong.


Last edited by dlightmen on Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:59 pm 
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I have to respectfully disagree Dlight, because the only reason any woman or man goes to a dating site is to get dates. Spend three weeks wasting your time "getting to know each other" over email and you will wind up wasting your time. All the "where you from, what do you like, how long have you been on such and such a site, etc" could be out of the way in the first 10 minutes of meeting them in person. Rarely will you get any kind of rapport over the dating sites messaging system and you will wind up waiting 12-24 hours between responses. If they write you back, they are willing to meet you. Your profile should contain enough information for them to make a decision about meeting you within 3 emails.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:02 pm 
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I have to respectfully disagree Dlight, because the only reason any woman or man goes to a dating site is to get dates. Spend three weeks wasting your time "getting to know each other" over email and you will wind up wasting your time. All the "where you from, what do you like, how long have you been on such and such a site, etc" could be out of the way in the first 10 minutes of meeting them in person. Rarely will you get any kind of rapport over the dating sites messaging system and you will wind up waiting 12-24 hours between responses. If they write you back, they are willing to meet you. Your profile should contain enough information for them to make a decision about meeting you within 3 emails.
I go on one to two dates every weekend, bro! ;)


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:12 pm 
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What does that have to do with anything? Are you trying to insinuate I DON'T have any dates? Quite the contrary my friend -- my schedule fills up mad fast on the three email close.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:16 pm 
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What does that have to do with anything? Are you trying to insinuate I DON'T have any dates? Quite the contrary my friend -- my schedule fills up mad fast on the three email close.
You also said nearly all of them flake. But lets not start a flame war. :)

I'm just trying to help OP. Been where he is. I solved it what he's going through. I just want to see him succeed. And I think you might confuse the guy. ;-/

Quote:
I am looking to arrange a date in no more than 3 emails. Nearly half of all dates will get postponed last minute.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:22 pm 
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Actually... I said postponed. Meaning we re-schedule.

Not trying to have a flame war either... just disagree with building rapport over email... rapport really can not be established that way... Best way is to move it to real life as quickly as possible.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:17 am 
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Actually... I said postponed. Meaning we re-schedule.

Not trying to have a flame war either... just disagree with building rapport over email... rapport really can not be established that way... Best way is to move it to real life as quickly as possible.
Not email. texting.


Not the best. that is your opinion.

I've been taught different form PUA's that topple both you or I. :)


I'm curious tho. Mind posting some screenshots?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:33 pm 
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What would you like me to post a screen shot of? My iPhone, like you? I don't mind doing it... but no I won't... too much effort and no payoff.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:16 pm 
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I think hes asking for screenshots of your emails so he can get some advice.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:27 pm 
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I think hes asking for screenshots of your emails so he can get some advice.
Haha! No. My game online game is fine. :)

I'm just interested in seeing the quality of women and what his inbox looks like. I've posted mine several times.


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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2012 12:21 pm 
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As it usually doesn't make a difference how awesome your profile is, what are people's take on say messaging a lady, she replies and likes what you say, gives
her phone number, you call her up and you have a good, fun, friendly conversation, with you doing everything right and not screwing anything up. She then says in the call, to text her about meeting up. You do that, but then she flakes on you and doesn't get back to you.

If one asks, did the lady have a very good profile, I'd say no, it was pretty bland and rather poorly written, with not that much info provided, that you could follow on through in a phone call and it has fairly average photos, plus the lady didn't come across as that great a converser on the phone, in the 15 minute call.

I messaged the lady on the site a few days later, to ask how was she going and did she get my text, as I find 9 times out of 10, when a lady says to text her, she
ends up flaking and she then blocked me. Do I care, no.

The moral of the story, is talk about a day-time-place to meet when you're actually on the phone with a lady, as her saying to text her about meeting up, doesn't work for you and is always too vague, as it provides for a too easy way for her to flake, as most women don't follow through.

If anyone has any tips on how to avoid this kind of phone flaking, it'd be much appreciated.


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