How do you get rid of oneitis

Please guys i need help.
I didnt have a clue about seduction and pick ups till i started having problem with my current relationship. i reckon ive been an alpha male personality wise in the past when i was single. i never been too much obsessed with women i was not lookin for it and expecially i never felt the need to be in a relationship.
So when i met this girl we felt both emotionally involved very fast. the attraction at the beginning was great.then slowly she started being in charge of the relationship.and me acting like a beta i pulled her away from me.sex slowly decreased and now after 9 months of relationship i have been 1 month without sex. tried to speak with her several times. all excuses.she loves me blablabla she doesnt want to loose me blablabla. i really feel i want to dump her if nothing changes in the imminent future. i had enough. i am only scared to do a mistake as this could be just a bad moment that would pass.we live together as well and im scared about the stress that could provide moving to another place. please guys i need advices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opUT4lSM2dc

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

janluis1
those links i described above would help u as well...

anyway this is what happens when you lose yourself in the relationship, this is the reason why i don't have relationships with woman because i just don't like psychological trade with people- especially when they are not emotionally healthy. ( im VERY VERY selective )

1 month no sex = relationship is over... i have talked to a many many guys and there are many commonalities... for example not having sex for a long time. you either get back and get in touch with who you really are or you end the relationship. Yeah and meanwhile you have 0 % emotional connection, it's bullshit all woman say this before dumping you... they shop around and when they get some attention from other guys they will drop you in a heart beat just because you choded out ( her getting power over the relationship). if she really loved you she would have fucked you... what a woman says is not what she thinks, look to her actions

one huge mistake is living together with a girl... seriously .. even if i had a 2 or 3 year relationship is still wouldn't live together... children, marriage or living together makes it more complex. if you have tried talking about it.. if you have tried expressing what you really feel and she doesn't understand it you are better off dumping her.

if a woman withholds sex without a legit reason i date her best friend or i fuck her sister... not that im going to do it but that's how i think... if you don't give me what i need and you keep using me to get what you want then fuckoff...i've had enough woman in my life who withhold sex just to control the relationship.

she is leeching you .. what you are saying is '' im not getting anything out of the relationship''

well then you got a shitty relationship.. end it... and be ruthless, if she asks why you dump her you just say she's boring, she didn't fuck you for a long long time... things you can get from a complete stranger in the club. seriously i can go to a club tonight and meet someone who provides emotions and sex in one hour.
when you get rid of her go do some inner game stuff.. get some david deangelo in your life.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hey Lodewijkp need help on this one,

Brief background:
-She's 2 years older
-(HB 10)
-cool personality
-I met her at a house party and we went to the clubs after , got her number , kiss closed her and walked her home. I asked her out after , she came and spent all the time dancing and making out.

Question:
I feel a strong connection between us, she's attracted to me and thinks i'm a good guy and to be honest, i had a terrible experience with trusting the wrong girl. What should I do next? i'm thinking about just letting things happen without over-analyzing...what if she's just having fun?!

Any criticism /tips would be appreciated!

Jay dog

Hey lode,

So i've been with this girl for a couple of weeks now. We spent the weekend together a couple of weeks back with our uni sports team, and decided to make it exclusive after we got back home. She lives a few hours away from me, and we've SPAM every night since then. She's really struggling with not being able to be with me and i'm feeling the same; it's weird maintaining a such a fresh relationship over SPAM. She comes back on saturday/sunday and everything will be fine from then, but what can i do in the mean time to help her not get frustrated?

To coincide with this, she likes it when i send 'cute' texts to her. Eventually they'll get samey, do you have any recommendations for keeping these cute texts new and fresh?

And one last thing... which i think a lot of women do; when you complement them on their looks and then they downplay it i.e. no, i'm not attractive!, how do you deal with this? I dealt with this last time by saying something along the lines of 'don't be silly, i find you very attractive and that's how it is'.

Thanks man.

Jay dog

well do you sense something about her ? do you unconciously notice some things that are identical to past events ? Not hooking up with someone is ok as well... hot girls can be cool but they can also be very crazy , matter in fact it's actually hard to find a good girl that is emotionaly healthy.

Identify what attracts you to her...
I recommend not going to fast.. just be patient and try to see what she's about. ask her about her parents or find out how her relationship with her parents is. Don't be mister serious but do ask some relevant questions to find out of she's emotionally healthy.

If you lose her... well you could be missing out on a cool relationship with a hot girl but you also have to realize that there are many many hot girls who you can have cool relationships with.....

your job:
identify if you want a relationship.. seriously
identify why she attracts you...
identify if she's emotionally healthy enough without being mister serious

bunch up those three and look if they are congruent to eachother.

age doesn't mean shit..i've met 40 year old woman who were more childish than some 20 year old girls i've met. Looks just trigger your instinctual attraction, try to no put concious value on it - of course unconciously you will be attracted but don't do it on a concious level... in other words don't hypnotize yourself. Focus on your life and you development conciously.

aside from that

Hot woman will be approached ALOT.. when you walk home after you fuck her you will probably be thinknig about her... meanwhile she's getting approached by different guys and probably not thinking about you. You need to have the spiritual discipline to not be bothered by this, once you are afraid of losing a girl you fuckup.

i sometimes avoid certain hot woman which i could actually easily kiss close.. because i know i don't want to deal with all those instincts, it all depends on where you stand in your life. i don't want someone immature in my personal emotional space - i don't think you want that as well...put yourself number one.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Firewater

lol sounds like you like her alot... i think you both are compatable... how to not get frustrated lol ? well i focus on my spiritual process BEFORE i get attached to any girl - because once you get attached ( which isn't good or bad ) it's really easy to get one-itis over it. I like to maintain my concious to a high degree where i see the truth - what i need, what she needs and that there is more to life than me or her.

Prevent one-itis because curing it is almost impossible...
FOCUS ON anything else than her, i've been talking to woman who lives in the USA lol.. date and approach other woman ..seriously.. you don't even have to pick them up - you can just approach them and talk to them.

meeting other woman can break instinctual attraction thus preventing one-itis
Having high awareness and preventing low states of conciousness can prevent one-itis... for example thinking about her ALL day is a low state of conciousness.
say stupid shit now and then....text her when you are watching a movie or TV show. to be honest i don't text girls once i hooked up with them - i rather talk when i meet them so i have alot to talk about.

Basic noob mistakes are :
texting too much...depleting your conversation material before even meeting her in real life.
Not giving her time to react .. you keep texting her and you keep iniating..let her invest/initiate, let her text you as well.
Thinking about what to say once im thinking about what to say i just don't text , il do something else - i only text when im in a high state of conciousness , not needy or having a good time with something else. when you are thinking about what to say you are probably in a low state of conciousness

like i said.. i avoid texting girlfriends most times ( unless she initiates) , i do text dates or new woman i've met.
it depends on your relationship as well - if you are equally mature or you both are having very equal amount of neediness in the relationship you probably could text more.

keeping a relationship isn't about you or her.. it isn't about her looks or other stuff. How i maintain a relationship and balance ? well i analyze my status daily.. where am i at ? am i doing things that are good for me ? how needy am i today ? You need awareness to check your status, you need to focus on things in order to see them. you can grow awareness by experience, meditation, rites.. or just spending some time alone cut off from the world.

how good your relationship is ? well keeping a relationship is preventing one-itis, a bit of one-itis is ok but you don't want to let it get out of control. you have healthy attachement and BAD attachement. 90% of all relationship problems are bitches acting crazy- shit testing their boyfriends...and guys love their girlfriends too much they turn into a doormat, out of'' love''.. meanwhile she is losing attraction because they are choding out. you don't want to be more needy than her.

i lay these rules down for you, me myself personally don't follow them. i do not care about losing any girl whatsoever... so when you get at a point where you do not care about losing her OR any other state of high conciousness you can abandon the rules.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

When you love someone too much , when you get too attached you don't see negative shit anymore. You think she's a princess or you are totally blinded by love. when something is scarce and you value it too much you project ideals on it.

She's still human and she still disrespect you now and then... if you are too needy you will not identify those negative behaviours because you are too afraid of losing her.... it's just pure instinct. Once she shit test you and you fails she loses attraction into the relationship.

just when you are raising children... when children misbehave you correct them, people who do not correct their children are actually people who love their children too much and they have 0 % awareness in general.

there is no rule... just maintain awareness, prevent extreme one-tits or extreme neediness. fuck what everyone else says , this is your life and you probably want to stay in control of your own life no matter what. Stay in control of your psychology,time , finances and above all emotional health.... once you give too much of it to woman you are giving them control.

you don't have to be or do something special.. you can still be yourself, just don't lose awareness.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hi Lodewijkp, hope you could give me some advice.

I went out clubbing with some friends including my gf and other girls. It was a special party where everyone gets markers to paint other people in the face etc (weird but fun). The thing is, at some point in the night my gf started pulling up the t-shirt of a friend of mine and painting him playfully, my friend painted her too a bit in the face but she was the one that insisted on painting him in the abs/lower back.
I was just in front of them while this happened and was just acting cool, but on the way back i told her i didnt understand very well why she did it.

Dont know if i over reacted and should do as nothing happened, or maybe freeze her out, but in guess at this point she wouldnt relate the freeze with what she did.

Thank you very much!

revi

no she won't relate it... if she thinks it's nothing bad then she will keep thinking it's nothing bad. i know how such stupid things feel but you cannot do anything about it because nothing really happened...alot of people watch porn or do other shit which is far more worse.

just admit you don't like it... and brush it off, however do keep it in the back of you head... when shit like this happens TOO OFTEN there is surely a red flag. when my GF flirts with one guy that's ok, but when it happens too much it's just better to freeze out.

i don't like when woman flirt alot with other guys when im around.. it's just anoying and she probably is going to do it when im not around as well - who knows what happens. , i don't want to change woman because that usless and such a waste of time and energy. You cannot change people you can only help them change, im just looking for a more mature woman.

but hey in your case it only happened one time.. it's not that bad.

it's also good to make direct jokes about it... like '' hey you paint him on the abs.. you can at least paint my dick'' .. grab her, kiss and escalate a bit. use the situation in your advantage to go even further, but that could be hard when you are dealing with some emotions .

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Ok so make it short as possible : Met Her in August , Sandra good 9-10 and personality same ,20 year old found out than all ready that she is going on an adventure with her girlfriend for 3 months in Asia in February ...been together about 7 months fucking like 4,5 days a week, though by Christmas got her a small present and before opening she said she doesn t want it cuz we are not in a relationship .... i said ok so what do you call this Fuckbuddys? She sad no ..Neighbours? than we laughed and fucked ...anyway this followed up with hearing from his ex boyfriend who she dated for 3 years splitted up with him lil before we met and they still ''hang out'' don't know what to think about this ,she said he want's to be together with her and she doesn't ,anyway point is at the moment before she went we had kinda a goodbye sex and than i thought best thing will be to kind of set her free so she enjoy s it and me too so i wrote her a message saying that I know she is a serious girl and that i want her to go and come back to me when she knows what and who she whant's she has my nr and in case im still available we ll find out ,she would have wanted to see me on her day of leaving i just couldn t show up ........ the thing is i keep on thinking bout her all day sometimes we chat on FB and speak on SPAM ,notice that i kinda give her teasing truths like she went 1 day before valentines day so i was crushed she wrote me the day she arrived to India and followed with kisses , i tolld her she will never know how much i love her ...and in this manner continued the conversation in a funny teasing way with videos like Geek in the Pink (:)))) cuz thats what i am .... the thing is she got sick couple times down there i was worried and like that haven't had sex since she left ,even dough my ex and some other girls would have liked it and she told me in case i want to go to thailand than i can join her ,now Facebook also made me litlle confused cuz she has a folder intitled love where she has 3 pictures of her ex pictures from last year and stuff trying not to discuss this with her yet anyway ..Got longer than expected point is im confused as hell she is a born pua as i see it cuz i m starting to feel like im the one doing the girlz job writing to her like ...I miss You, i calibrated with: hopefully not as much as You miss me ..she replied: that was a sweet message from You . Get what i mean clever girl drivin me nutz any advice helps thanks in advance

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Dorian

Should I break up with my college girlfriend? She's extremely loyal, nice, and loving and is one of the hottest girls on campus, but I feel like I should be single and sleep around and party with my friends. I love her, but idk how much I'm missing out on or if I should experience being single. I posted a thread about this, but no one gave me any solid advice. For more details go there please. Thanks.

Hi! The story continues. (My last post is the first one on the previous page!)

Everything went fine. (Thanks for great advice btw, Lode, helped alot) Now we've been kinda together for two weeks or so (by that i mean we've both taken for granted not to meet other people, no klingy BF, GF stuff). Things have escalated quite quickly (she has stayed over twice), considering we havnt spent much hours together (busy scheduals). Just in case the backround: she was in a LTR (4y) before that two weeks, but we've known eachother for 8 months or so. Today she tried to explain me that things have gone too quickly for her and she wants to slow down (she says she has trouble trusting other people (including me) and even herself). So, I obviously percieved things like. Ok, its over, shit happens, gotta get back on the horse quickly and totally overlooked sentences (we had this talk in Facebook, the worst place ever imo for these convs.) like " I like you very much", "No, i dont want to take a break or smth". So I got it. She still likes me a lot, but wants to take things slower (guess that means no sex). She doesn't think i got it and wants to have a chat in person to get her thougts through my thick skull Could there be somekind of so called buyers remorse on her behalf?

Considering. My questions are: Is it bad she wants to slow things down (what could it possibly mean)? Should i try to escalate things again more quickly or give her bit of a cold shoulder to let her know basically "I could go at any time", witch i could? How should i react to her behaviour as such? So what shall I do, what frame will i use ?

It's a little long but i would really appreciate any advises, it means alot to me.

Hey everybody, i am new here so i still can't open a new thread, but I need some help with a new experience for me..
I'm 20 years old, live in germany.
I have had a quite alot of girlfriends, but mostly it was just for fun.
before 7 months i started a relationship with a girl that i really got to love, and she was a student here where a live, but she's from italy, and we lived together for the last 5 months.
Now, couple weeks ago, she went back to italy for easter with her family, i was so confused about the feeling of loving her SO MUCH, which was really a new feeling for me to have..
I think it feels like my first elementary school crush..
I got scared of this feeling and what could happen later on when i move out of the country to study and decided to tell her not to come back and stay in italy.
And i did tell her that... However, 2 days later I regreted that.. and i told her, and explained that i really wanted her back! but she said that she doesn't want to now and that she wants to stay and work there..
That really sucks to be in a 2 floors appartment by my own, many empty shelves and closets, dirty messed up kitchen with no desire to bother and clean it. staying in the house for the last week thinking just what have I done, i had a healthy routine of gym / swimming / going out for coffee with friend, the last 10 days i did NOTHING..
I mean im sure i hurt her when i told her that i didnt want her to come back.. but i am already used to live with her and share everything together. and the WORST thing is that i didnt tell her a real goodbye before she left because she was supposed to come back after 5 days..

i would really need some help or advises of what could be done here.. should I go to italy to her and try to get her back, which is only for 2 more months before i leave to study abroad? should i just forget about her? seriously im so depressed to live alone with no woman to get back home to after every day at university, which i have been missing for 2 weeks already. failing big time.

- she is 7 for her looks, but i would give her 10 for personality. it started just as another f-close task for me, but i really got connected when i got to know her more.

- a friend recommended this forum and said it helped him alot, i never imagined to post something like this online, it feels stupid but i'll give it a shot.