Long story short, I've been talking to this girl I've know for a long time....asked her out a few times but she always had sometime to do so I backed off. She showed signs of intrest frequently, also freaked out whenever she drove by me (awkwardly looked away fast, etc.). Anyway, I initiated again 3 weeks ago via FB...she responded and then asked for my number. We started texting a lot....asked her out twice but she was busy...finally one night she suggested we hang at my place after she's done studying. We hung out, great chemistry, lots of smiling/eye contact, good convo, walked her home, hug and kiss on the cheek. Keep texting back and forth the next week....asked her out again but she had exams coming up so she couldn't. Ended up going out with her best friends guy friend....she teased by asking how our 'date' went. I replied by asking if she was jealous that me and him have been on more dates then her and I....she said "pretty much, hahah." 3 days later, I ask her out again.... and she sends me a long text saying shes been talking to someone she used to see and doesn't think it would be fair to either of us to go out. And that she was going to say something earlier but didn't know if anything would come of it...and that shes sorry if she led me on. She finished by saying "its just bad timing."

Opinions?

She speaks the truth my friend.

You took too long. Sometimes if you're just waiting for that date, you need to force the issue and make something happen. Here, it seems like this other guy has the trumping card of previous emotions. You can't compete, don't bother.

What you should do is go basically no contact. When a girl says it was bad timing, often she means it, and you're able to pick it back up when there's better timing.

Specifically, I had a girl that I connected well with that had a boyfriend. I didn't care, just went on to set the date up. Forgot to get her number and she flaked. She told me it was just bad timing, and she hoped we could be friends.

I believed that, but said we couldn't just be friends, because I only knew how to see her as sexy. Left it at that and left her alone for about 2 months.

Got invited to a party by a mutual friend, she texts me asking if I was going to it, and that she had broken up with her boyfriend and hoped to see me. Easiest set up for a close I've ever had.

Sometimes you can plant the seed and get the benefits later. Leave your intentions clear and let her go.

Now the question is, if she does come back in the future am I just supposed to pick up where we left off or make her work a bit because of what happened?

Pick up where you left off. Having sex is a team sport. It's more practical to work with her, rather than try to punish her for her circumstances. If she contacts you, she's looking for sex or a relationship, so go with fast kino escalation.

I do understand where you're coming from though. You don't want to appear as though you'll sleep with her as soon as she says the word. It's against the "You are the prize" mentality.

The solution is to put her through compliance tests, have her hold something or make you a drink. When she refuses, you roll off and talk to other people and other girls. If she complies you continue to escalate kino. Kiss her early in the night, but don't be making out all night, it makes kissing lose its impact. Shift back down to lower levels of kino, and use kisses at emotional high points.

If she doesn't contact you again, it means you didn't make enough of an impact in the time you knew her and she has options she is more invested in. If she doesn't contact, that's just a clue to you to make a bigger splash next time. Get noticed, don't be another friend.

Thanks for the sound advice brother. Her birthdays coming up in a few months, how should I go about wishing her happy birthday? I was thinking to send a text later in the evening...should I ask how she is or leave it so it doesn't need to be responded to?

That's a few months away. Start thinking about new girls instead. Glad to help.

Good advice here.

I'd honestly feel a lot better if I knew she was torn making that choice but i don't know what to take from it considering after our first date she was never really eager to meet again. She was flooded with exams though.

I actually just drove by her today and she didn't even look at me, lol. The worst part is I see her a lot because we live on the same street.