Hey, this is my first post, but I've been reading this forum for a long time just to keep up with things. I appreciate everyone being so open about this information.

About me. I just got out of a 4 year relationship about 2 months ago. After a few weeks, I started getting back into things. I'm tall and I'm a good looking guy. I know this because girls tell me every now and then. I have no problems with approaching and making conversation. I will approach the shit out of the hottest girls I find and I can get them (more often than not) interested and responding. I've pulled a couple numbers, but here's my sticking point.

I can't get to the kiss close. I work up the kino and the girls are totally comfortable with it. I start at their shoulder, then end up with my hand(s) on their hips and keeping it there. The hardest part for me is transitioning into the sexual vibe. I know it's the next step before the kiss, but I don't know how to get there without being overtly sexual, which I feel would be too much of a change, too fast given my personal style, but maybe I'm wrong about that. I generally go with gambler's pick up strategy.

I'm pretty flirty during our conversation and I think I could go straight into an interaction being overtly sexual and, if the girl were into it, I could get physical quickly without any mental block. It's really just transitioning to a sexual state after all of that talking and connecting/comfort.

I've noticed I especially have this problem on the day 2s. I'm too friendly and slow with the kino and I have trouble making it sexual when I feel like they have a sense of who I really am.

What I'm looking for the most here, I suppose, is a mentality. Like a model perspective I can work with and try to adopt. I'm a pretty socially capable person and I can work with something if I just know what mindset to have going into the pick up.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

There is little to say except for pushing it. Take the risk of getting rejected.

For the record, I'm not at your level yet, but here's some advice I read.

Gambler suggests asking her a fluff question like "What's your favourite movie?", as she answers you pretend not to hear, lean in a bit and say "What?", rinse and repeat until she's practically saying it into your ears. Kiss her on the cheek after, and hopefully the rest comes naturally.

Otherwise, Mystery's "Would you like to kiss me?" tactic should be enough, if the attraction and comfort is there.

Good luck!

a more laid back mind set might get you not only constantly pulling but also nonchalantly pushing.the act of pushing and pulling can be done in a few seconds, hours, days even weeks and longer...
reaching a comfort zone is already very good. from there, over time, you can try to "feel your way" through to her or build up the sex drive in her until she is the one to jump on you, simply because she can't wait any longer to feel you inside her. (the latter is my favorite method).

Ive heard some people say attraction first, then comfort. Building comfort first risks you running into the friend zone

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Looking around the forum, it seems like a lot of guys have this problem when they're getting started, like it's one of the big hurdles everyone must cross. I'm just going to start pushing the limits physically and try to pump the flirting/sexual vibe. I also found another post in this section really helpful by tweeby. The thread title is "Always friend zoned". I'd post a link, but the website won't let me because I'm new.

This is the solution that you are looking for.

best-ever-kiss-routine--vt132565.html[url]

Its my cocky funny method and has never failed me

Confidence and being a good kisser is the key elements to this

Soncheese aka swag x

i actually had a similar problem. everything im telling you is what ive learned from personal experience and i just got over this problem recently.

one thing you can do is talk about sex topics in normal conversation when getting to know a girl. girls love to talk sex more than you would imagine.

if you already built the comfort then try and take her on an adventure/ fairy tail. (even if its just a lunch/coffee date ) create a world where nothing else matters between the 2 of you and you will both tell its super sexual. you can feel the sexual vibe. umm also be comfortable around her. like if you put your right knee touching her inner thigh just like brushing it but dont make it linger. basically touch her and be comfortble about it. dont do it if its super akward or just because im telling you to. if you feel like you can just sit down right next her and sit really close. iniate touching a lot more just casually when talking, hugs, notice her jewerly and play with it or even just touch her hand neck and flick the jewelry, play with her hair,etc

if you notice she looks at your eye, then lips or if shes playing with her hair, etc just go in for the kiss. (after your with her one on one) girls dont want to be seen kissing guys in public so if its daytime just make it a place where its only you and her around somewhere secluded. she probably wants to kiss you. im not saying if shes playing with her hair she definitely wants to kiss you. im just saying if your wondering if you should kiss her and she is then this is definitely confirmation that you need to go in for the kiss. TRY not to puss out if its a girl you really like, but if you do then know you're gonna get friend zoned. i did this once ance ever since i got friend zoned i was like "never again..." rather be scared and go in for the kiss than not knowing and just becoming a friend..

good luck man!

Thanks for more advice! I'm getting a lot better at this stuff. I've started being very overt about my intentions. What I've been doing is finding the hottest girl at the bar/club, coming up to her and introducing myself. Sometimes, when we shake hands, I'll kiss her hand, then her cheek. From there, I start touching her more and more over the next few minutes (start at shoulder, work down to hip). Then, I either grab her hand, or tell her to give me her hand. If she asks why, I tell her "because I want to hold your hand." That tends to work. All of this, of course, happens while we're talking.

Next, I'm working on the kiss close. I've done it a few times, but not enough to own it. Still don't have it perfected. However, all of the above stuff has been a huge confidence booster for me. I realize more and more that it's about the mentality with which you go into the interaction. Go in knowing that you want her and that she will want you for it. Also, I think putting things out there so clearly is a huge time saver. Demonstrating that you have the balls to go after this hot chick and you aren't afraid of or taken aback by anything she says, I believe, really turns a girl on to you.

That reminds me, for example, of how I told a girl what I do for a living (it's a very technical profession) and she said "oh, you're a nerd." I responded with, "Yeah, I'm probably the biggest nerd here." I didn't close her because I backed out a little later (I seriously regret doing that. She was a 9.) But we talked a bit longer and she was throwing positive signals shortly after. I think the important thing is being unabashedly yourself and not worrying about sounding cool. Just make sure she can relate to what you're saying on some level.

I'm also seeing that if I don't start talking to a girl with sexual intentions, the conversation tends to die out, sometimes with bad results. One girl just started getting offensive with me. I have no idea why. I was totally friendly, just not being very sexual with her, then something clicked in her and she got mean. She wasn't that hot, though.

I didn't mean to turn this into my own reflections, but that seems to be what happened. Hopefully, someone can benefit from this information. Also, I'm not big on the PUA lingo. Sorry, but I just don't like using it.

i suck 2 at comfort building,its like building attraction is simple and if i feel and see the attraction is there,i wanna hook up,number close etc.knowing i need 2 shift 2 comfort building and once im in the comfort building phase the attraction slowly dies and i stay stuck in the comfort zone,so i think it works a bit like..build attraction,build comfort,build attraction,build comfort,build attraction,build comfort etc.u have 2 mix it and keep it balanced wich is the hard part

Once I get past attraction and move into comfort, I've got my hands on the girl or start putting them on her. It really doesn't take long before you can stop being subtle about touching her and for her to be ok with it. If youre touching her like you want her, which you do, thats all you need to keep attraction strong. I think people get caught worrying she'll find out they want to hook up with her if they get too touchy when, really, thats the point. It's better to make it clear early on (using actions more than words). What I find is, hand holding really sets the tone. It shows you've got the balls to go for it and you'll know she's ready from her response to it.

i aint try 2 get slapped and about putting hands on her,i got arrested for sexual intimidation before.i had 2 do 3 months jail for that shit,so im carefull with that