hey everybody,

i have got a girlfriend and i love her really much.
i tell her often how special she is and how much she means to me.
the only contact we have is email and text messages. during the weekends we chat.
we cant talk to each other because we are sepperated and we will stay sepperated for 3 weeks to come.
everytime she textmessages me i textmessage her back like double the times she textmessages me.
sometimes i textmessage her out of the blue. and then she doesnt reply for a day or two and then she does something short. and then ill reply quickly.
yes. thats the truth.
i try to be a good boy friend. which ive heard is bad, she wont stick with you.
i dont wanna lose her you know. but i dont want her to cheat on me, so thats why i text message her every now and then and by doing that showing her that i dont cheat and are still here for her.
im afraid that she loses respect cuz im always here, and that she will find someone else. she is my first girlfriend. im 19, she's 17.
if you would ask me to give an honest opinion about myself id say that im an afc with alpha stripes.
im not totally afc, ive got girls walking after me.
im just terribly worried she's cheating on me or that im losing her. that makes me insecure.
my question is how can you attract someone by text only. or at least not make her cheat.

in short its actually more like this:
i miss her more than she misses me. how to flip this around ?

thank you very much in advance,


stekemrt

So sweet...unfortunately, she's gone. You screwed yourself. Instead of being out having fun during these three weeks, proving to HER that you don't need her, you're sitting around sending her texts.

Basically, everything you're doing is absolutely wrong.
You're messaging her more than she's messaging you: Needy.
You're telling her how special she is and how much she means to you: Needy.
She sends you a message and you quickly reply: Needy and "I have no life".
You're worried that you're losing her: Beta.
You're asking us how to stop her from cheating: Beta.

Flip those around. Don't message her, when you do, make it because you're out doing something fun and you wish she could be there. Don't continue a conversation, just make it a quick message and then nothing. Don't reply to her. You're going for a semi-freezeout here...you want to pull back, but you don't want to disappear completely. Make her think you're too busy to find the time to chat with her over txt's.

Tell her about the other girls you're seeing (just a little...compare her to them, get some jealousy going). Quit telling her how special she is, and how much she means to you. Those words lose meaning very quickly if they're over used. Plus, they make her think that she's in control...when you need to be the one in control.

Simply put, you miss her more then she misses you because your always there...be there less then she is and you'll flip it around.

Also i do not know you and thus will not comment on your "Alpha stripes", but everything you wrote bleeds AFC. Beleive me i understand were you are comming from, but dont be so needy. Let her be her own person, if this means you guys break up so be it.

Your only 19 you have your whole life ahead of you, go out meet people, be happy, and enjoy life. She is not a unique or beautiful snowflake, she is the same as every other girl out there.

My advice is start to learn PU and apply it to your relationship, but also be ready to use it if your relationship with her falls threw.

GL.

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

This is good. You need to have a life. Instead of giving her the image of you crying over your smart phone missing her, she'll have the image of you living it up, yet still caring enough to think about her. Big difference.

Good luck.

_________________
Become a Zen PUA: "The Zen of Meeting Women"
http://zenpua.com

its soo true.

BUT
ive got to tell you another something.
this is going on for quite some time. so i decided i would go out one day. normally she doesnt text message. all of a sudden i got 2 textmessages in one night. she said: that she was mine.
all in that night.
lol
so i was first like waiting to send something back. but after a while i sent her that i was hers.
later that week i didnt text message her. and she text messaged 2 times just to check. i didnt reply whatsoever, my cellphone was dead.
i text messaged after 3 days or so.
and she said she missed me so much she had headaches and couldnt sleep well. LOL
she even went to the doctor to check whats going on. and the doctor said she missed me too much wahwahhawh
but now 3 weeks later its back to the old game. i kinda made it worse.
so thanx for you r advice guys, but its soo hard to stick to it.

grtz

ohw! really need to know another thing:
what does it mean when she makes a lousy excuse for not text messaging for a long time.

Sometimes people just don't feel in the mood to text people. I don't message people back sometimes, even though I'm sitting at my computer, because I'm just not in the mood, even if any other time I would jump at the chance to run some game on the girl.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

That and the fact that she's having sex with me right now. Sorry dude.

Just kidding. Try to give her more space, don't seem needy, and things will be fine.

_________________
Become a Zen PUA: "The Zen of Meeting Women"
http://zenpua.com

someone did a joke like that to me once i nearly died

what i've learnt is if you chase a girl she will run, and tease you while running.
if you act needy she will pick up on this and take the piss
I personally never send questions in text messages and my guesses are you are probably sending her a question like "how are you, wubu2" wich is boring and it kinda pushes her into replying or she will look ignorant, if you get what im saying.

If you tell her that you miss her or that you love her, out of the blue then she will know it's because your trying to stop her cheating on you maybe your trying to make her feel giulty. You cant make her less likely to cheat on you, only more likely. You can either do nothing or dig your hole

simcity, how did you manage to upload such a big avatar? is it 100 x100 pixels?

Here's your goal for this situation in a nutshell: SHE should be asking how to make YOU not cheat.

Essentially what has been said by other users on here is what you have to do. Don't be needy, act unaffected, give the subtext that if she cheats, you could care less. You have other options than her, so what are you worried about?

Essentially this is the cat string theory. If you put the string right next to the cat within its reach , the cat will ignore the sting. But one you move the string around and make it more difficult for the cat to get, the cat will go nuts trying to catch it.

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If my post made me appear homosexual, I want you all to know that prior to sitting down at my computer I slammed 15 shots of whiskey, went balls-deep into my woman, and recited Clint Eastwood lines for 20 minutes.

From what i have learned in my past if you give a girl what she wants shes gonna take control over you if you show the girl you dont give a shit she will be on ur ass.. dont seem like she can twist u around on her fingers all dayy because thats gonna make her loose interest she knos that you will never leave her thats why she doenst worry about texting you back sometimes or talking to you or hanging out with you she knos ur not going anywhere. What you need to do is show her that you will leave you have no problem leaving you can find another girl you dont need her if you show this to her shell come to you.... belive me been there done that...

okay
fine, ill do that. i wont try, ill just do it starting from now.
but the thing is we are so far away from each other. well. nevermind. im just gonna act like its over. ill forget her.
hope shell come back.
and if she dont. i know what time it is.
but theres another thing.. in 3 weeks ill get over there to sleep at her house for 5 days. i was far more excited about it than her.
fuck.
i wanna cry, i dont wanna go home with some std of someone else.
and another thing.. she used to email me once a week. at least. now she has quit doing that.
lol i should care less. but i do i wanna cheat on her. like right now. im planning on something this weekend.

STOP BEING PARANOID MAN!!!
If I was her I'd cheat on you
sending txt message every 5 secs won't stop her from cheating

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typical-pua-forum-post-lol-vt14412.html

I agree with the guys here. I've been in a similar situation years back, where my girl was in a different town. I missed her like crazy and couldn't resist texting her all the time and so on.

Then one week she just stopped returning my calls and texts and when I finally got hold of her she broke up with me. One of the reasons - she wanted someone who'd stand up to her a bit more.

So as the guys have said, if you run around trying to get attention from a girl she's just going to lose respect for you and start looking elsewhere, particularly if she's good-looking or whatever. But more importantly than all of that it'll just end up fucking with your head and killing the pleasure you should be taking from being with your girl.

Women cheat. -ALOT.

Goto Amazon.com and look up a book called "Sperm Wars" by Robin Baker. -Let me tell you, you will have nightmares.

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Say goodnight to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on.

Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Betta get outta his way!