I’m completely new to the community so let me start by giving what I understand Inner Game to be: Self Confidence and understanding of who you are and what you want.

So in my opinion the # 1 cause of a poor inner game that no one ever talks about: Fear of Sexual Inadequacy.

Is my penis big enough? Can I last long enough? What if she doesn’t cum? What if I just don’t know how to satisfy her?

These are all the questions that keep many of us desiring to be a PUA on the side lines. This by far has to be the toughest challenge to get past. I think that if someone can elegantly put in to words some things that can help many of us get past these doubts, then the inner game issue will be all but solved and most of us stuck in this place will be able to soar! Being confident in your sexual game is the ticket to gaining the confidence to move forward and pushing through the next sticking points.

So I issue a challenge: Is anyone willing to take a shot at this issue? (Please do not simply say “Get experience.” Put some effort into the explanation and advice.)

To conquer sexual inadequacy you need to change two things.

1. ATTITUDE

It's not WHAT happens in the bedroom. It's HOW you deal with it. For example, there is the possibility that you won't be able to get an erection when you're with a girl. If this happens, it DOES NOT make you any less of a man. What MATTERS is HOW the experience affects your behavior. The EASY thing to do, is to stop trying to have sex with the girl in order to avoid further embarrassment. THIS is REAL SEXUAL INADEQUACY. THIS would make you less of a man. But if you keep trying, regardless of failure, you WILL eventually succeed. It's the same with anything - giving girls orgasms, anxiety about penis size - failure in any of these areas is COMMON and does NOT make you inadequate - it's ATTITUDE that matters.

Once you accept this way of thinking, it's incredibly liberating. You can say to yourself, "I am not afraid of failure, because I know that it isn't whether or not I fail that's important - it's whether or not I try again."

2. SKILL-SET

There are plenty of books out there about how to pleasure women and bring them to orgasm. On the internet, you may have to wade through some bullshit first, but I've found credible and informative videos on the subject. You WILL be more confident when know WHAT to do. But the information is useless until you have USED it PRACTICALLY. Do your homework, and then try it out. Repeat indefinitely. Becoming great in bed is a journey.

With an improved attitude and techniques to try out practically in the bedroom, you'll be well on your way to mastering sexual game. Just remember it's a gradual process, and enjoy the ride.

Great reply. +1

@ _Action_

Thanks for a great response and it was just what I was looking for. Many inexperienced guys have these typical fears when it comes to “Being Enough” in the bed room. In today’s world where porn is the norm, many young and even older men new to the single life deal with penis envy. After all, it’s not easy to measure up to a 10 inch penis when mother nature has blessed you with slightly less. But hearing that size doesn’t really matter from someone who decides to start a thread on a forum is not really going to convince these guys of the truth. What I wanted was for the fact to be reinforced by another member offering the information too.

I agree that “Attitude” is the key. It is the key to everything. A bad attitude in any area will result in negative results almost 100% of the time. Still, getting the right attitude after years and years of soaking yourself in self-doubt is a big hurdle to overcome. If attitude is the key, then persistence is the Key Hole. Keep trying to work through your self-doubt.

I truly believe that this is the underlying issue with most of us trying to achieve PUA status. It’s always in the back of your head. So maybe I get good at approach. Maybe I get good at building attraction, Report, Kino Escalating, ect… But what am I going to do when we get naked?????

Learn to lose this fear and have the correct attitude as _Action_ has stated, then you truly have a shot at becoming a PUA. Maybe your goal isn’t to become a PUA, just a self confident man, I believe that starts here as well.


I’d like to say a side note. I am amazed at the amount of support that runs through this forum. It is a great community. Keep up the support fellas.

Interesting that you mention porn - on my path to improving sexual game I cut pornography out of my life completely. It's simply not healthy in my opinion. It lies about sex, it desensitizes the viewer, and I think it's the root of a lot of male sexual problems. If you're sensitive about the size of your penis, pornography is probably the reason. If you're young but you have trouble getting it up, pornography could definitely be a contributing factor.

E.g: http://www.reuniting.info/how_i_recover ... ysfunction

Well..I'd disagree on this view. Why? Well..your looking at a symptom issue, so what if you get good at "sex" & "techiniques". The root at least for this isn't those things, its sexuality (in the sense of how good do you feel in yourself & in your own skin).

Even if you get good at those things (which can help) if your not comfortable in your sexuality/yourself then your just doing something to overcompensate. Meaning well..your trying look good in bed (validation) and not be emotionally/physically vulnerable.

The flip side is if your comfortable in your sexuality..you wouldn't care if you get soft, how long you last etc. since well...thats judgement (which if you love yourself doesn't matter and would be dismissed). Yes..sexuality and love-acceptance are linked. Hell, it may go so far you'd laugh at yourself and enjoy going soft.

Now..that all said I would say thats 1 of the things which can affect "you". I wouldn't say its the # 1 thing..the # 1 thing is first and foremost is yourself (and your relation to yourself). Anything else is a branch(s).

I SOLUTE YOU SIR

_________________
Consistency is KEY

I remember David D (I think it was him) once talking about how this can make you sub councious aborting sex opportunity.

I think it can be so deep in your brain that you don't have a clue about it..

One thing is true: you MUST be comfortable with sex.

Oohh know even the David de anglo online marketers have invaded, too late.

_________________