Hey guys,

How are you all, hope everyone is well. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and help me out.

Heres the situation ok, Me and this girl Kelly were going out for 2 years. We were very close, and spent a lot of time together. We broke up a few times in the past, and somehow found our way back (before I got into PUA). Well we haven't talked pretty much since September. At the beginning and threw the course of the 4 months like an afc, I would call and text message her and of course she wouldn't reply. Now I just got over her, and my onitis, and of course today she ends up text messaging me, heres the conversation:

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Kelly: Look I'm on the subway n ive been getting vibes that somethng is wrong can u just txt me n tell me ur ok but if u dont ill understand since i never txt u

Me: (I waited half an hour to reply and that said this) "Its funny u say that I was on a fieldtrip today and my friend got into a fight. Are u ok what u mean

Kelly: Sorry I know u didnt have to txt back i was at starbucks n i got this horrible feeling like u wer in trouble n i just wanted to make sure ur ok

Me: Yeah I'm fine I've had a crazy couple of weeks.

Kelly: Me to..Ive never had that feeling about you before tho like i honestly wanted to just cry bcuz i was so convinced something happened..but ur ok

Me: Ya. I gotta go now I'm going out downtown with my friend nicole. If your lucky I'll txt you later.


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Thats how our text message conversation went. I really feel like I delt with it in a good way, i didnt seem needy, and I showed social status and pre-selection. Just to clarify as well, I do want her back, but not for a serious relationship to go out casually and to mess around once in a while.

I have a few questions for you guys:

a) What do you guys think about her just texting me like this? Do you think she wants me back?

b) What do you think of the way I handled the situation?

c) How should I go about re-initiating a chat with her (via texts) since i basically just closed the thread. Should I wait until tomorrow and have her waiting all night for me to txt her since i said If your lucky I'll text you. OR should I text message her tonight but later on.

d) Any other comments on things I should do/say?


Thank you all I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and help me!

you got over her. Stick with it. No need to fall back to her just because she text you all of a sudden. Stay Strong my friend. Artist

p.s You could text her back and fall back to that pattern if you want. Who knows maybe this time she MIGHT...maybe...just might reply back to you. hahaha good luck

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Your right your right lol. I dont want to get serious with her really, but rather date casually along with other girls.

Thanks for ur input though but i kinda want to persure her also.

I would wait to text her until tomorrow, because if you text her tonight, it shows that you were thinking about her and maybe even didn't stay out as late, just to talk to her.

You're definitely doing much better, the way you handled that text convo was fantastic. Great job on that man! The way you just casually dropped a girl's name was masterful. Don't fall back into one-itis and keep playing things this way and you can probably get exactly what you're looking for out of it.

When you do text her, I'd make her qualify herself to you, because she hasn't been behaving with all the not replying to texts and calls. So what you do, is you tell her to entertain you with an interesting story. One thing I like about saying it just like that, is that you can interepret it many ways, so if she interprets it a fictional story, that's cool and you know she's imaginative and you can encourage that and get to her become wild with fantasies, but should could also just tell you a story about her life and then you learn some interesting stuff to use in a conversation. If she doesn't tell you what you're looking for, or something useful, then make her do it again, by telling her she misunderstood and tell her what you're looking for, ie a story about knights and princesses, or something about herself, or something about her friends, basically whatever you are trying to learn about her, you can steer it in that direction.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks Rye! I always appreciate your replys, respect bro. So I take it that shes trying to get my attention, and she wants me again well obviously lol.

I will wait until tommorw to text her then, and I will do just that I will say "Entertain me, tell me an interesting story".

Thank you for your help bro!

I've been put in a similar situation. Me and the ex started talking a bit, and she told me yesterday, that if she wasnt seeing someone she would have kissed me, I just brushed it off, and we hung out today. I don't talk about US I just treat the situation like i would with any other girl. Today when we hugged to say good-bye she bit me on the collarbone, and I let her then pulled her hair (not too hard) to get her off. I have a feeling that her bitting was her way of trying to not kiss me. It feels good to have the power back.

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"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." - Lou Holtz

lol i think tahts what I have to do. How would I go about asking her out lets say friday. We've established not to text her until tommorw, and then to ask her to entertain me. Are there any other good things to say? Also how would i go about asking her to chill friday.

u guys rock...

Hey man. Well, first of all, I actually WOULDN'T have texted her back today to begin with. Yeah, I know, at the end you said if she was lucky you would text her again, but the fact is, she KNOWS you will. So, that's not congruent. I would wait. And wait. And wait some more. At least give her a couple of days to see if she texts you.

Also, just because she texted you today DOESN'T mean she wants you back. Don't jump so quick there man. Step back. I know you want to mess around with this girl again, but you have to step back FIRST in order to have a chance of setting things up that way.

Really eh? Interesting thanks L.A.! So I shouldn't text her tonight then thats out of the question for sure. Possibly not even tommorw, your saying to wait a couple of days eh. I get what your saying though the underlying reason is to show her i wont take her shit. Full of wisdom lol..

if i were to act of impulse i would have already txted her back

I know, but more importantly she knows, and that's the problem.

Yeah, just step back. If you still want a chance for Friday, it still may be there. Just see if she texts you a couple of times by then, then go by what I said via pm.

I agree completely with Tripp on this one.

How you said yo uwent AFC before... you have to show the opposite of that now. You have to show that she's not that important to you.

Pretty much all the non-invasive, I'm the prize types of thing need to be amplified to have a shot... since you have past behavior to overcome.

The up side though, once you get past attraction again, and into comfort it should be REALLY easy to escalate.

Interesting guys thank you for your input. I was going to text message her back tonight lol!

Well now of course I'm not going to and I'll wait and see if she texts messages me tomorrow.

When I do indeed text her I will go ahead and say what Rye reccommended " Hey, entertain me, tell me an interesting story"

I'm against waiting too long. The more time you wait, the more she is going to be able to forget about you. Sure, if she is thinking about you the whole time it's great, but if she isn't hooked (which in this case she probably isn't) then you need to hook her and you don't do that by letting her forget about you. She knows he'll message back and she is expecting to hear from him tonight, but by waiting till tomorrow night it waits long enough that she will probably still be thinking about it and be surprised she didn't hear from you, but not so early that she will think that he's still being super easy. Next time he can take a couple days, because then they've established that he's not chasing anymore and she will be thinking about it, but right now, I just think its too soon and will decrease chances.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Actually, I disagree with him texting her tomorrow night, UNLESS she has first texted him, TWICE. As I told him via pm, I would go so far as to wait a week. If she DOES want him back, most likely she won't wait for a week to hear from him. She'll take the initiative. If she DOESN'T want him back, then whether he does tomorrow or a week from now really won't matter one bit to her.

Consider, he has not for the last couple of MONTHS given her the gift of missing him. He's stayed in regular contact with her, DESPITE her not returning it.

He needs DESPERATELY to break this frame with her. He HAS to shock her out of it. Give her something from him that she would NEVER expect.

Since she's so used to him texting her, by him NOT texting her, she will actually be thinking about him, wondering why he hasn't.

HAHA this is so true, when talking to her agian (and you will) you have to dhv and be funny!!! I think you have a 50/50 chance.

LJBF or Potential

find a way to meet up with her (ask her) it wouldnt hurt (Controll the Frame and built comfort first)

DONT SHOW NEEDINESS

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