I don't know if it is because I am very outcome dependent or something.. but I am sitting in a room at the library with some of my buddies with a shitty feeling in my stomach.

I go to a university. I am definitely a pretty good looking guy- I get looks from good looking women a decent amount of the time (more when I am in a good mood). I am a person that is/can be positive and have a good vibe (I can be negative too though). I just wish that I didn't get nervous in certain situations. I am not a pussy and I man up and approach.

However, it's like everytime I do it it's a challenge to me that I need to "overcome". There is this girl that I keep seeing at the library who is so damn cute. She was sitting at a table with another guy (I dont think bf) which kind of stopped me from direct approaching. I left the room I am in now to go back and approach anyway, but they are gone and I have that shitty feeling.

There are certain days where I am so social and don't care much, and I am improving a lot on my confidence but its like there is this WALL. I know everyone says you get more comfortable the more you break out of your comfort zone.. but its seems like I can never be completely care free and relaxed around girls I find really attractive. I want that.

This was just to get my thoughts out a little bit. I feel a bit better now but if any of you guys have any advice I would really appreciate it. I am sure I am going to see that girl again, and I will make sure to direct approach her. It just seemed like a harder situation tonight (maybe I am telling myself that). I just want to capitlize on all these girls that are looking my way!!! Why is it that I can get the girls I don't want, but the ones I really have an eye for, it doesn't work out with them? I don't feel like I act differently around them. Please help!

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

What you're describing is the psychological and economical principle of scarcity -- http://www.taooftalk.com/home/2011/7/16 ... uable.html -- as the supply of something increases, the price per unit decreases, as there is more of it to go around. Water is free because it is the most common substance on earth. However, as the scarcity of something increases, its demand and price increases, because it is more rare.

What you are describing is the psychological portion of this principle. You don't want girls that you can have because they are easy to acquire, and you want to pursue women that aren't as easily as attainable -- even moreso the girls that you can't have, as it sounds like you are getting an infatuation with a girl who could very well already have a boyfriend.

Your self esteem fluxuates from day to day, that also isn't something specific to you -- everyone gets caught up inside themselves from time to time. There is, unfortunately, no "magic pill" you can take to make yourself not shy (Well, maybe Extacy, but I don't think that's what you're looking for.) -- I would recommend opening everyone in the Library who doesn't seem to be studying too hard. Find out what that girl or guy across from you is reading -- "Hey, one of my friends heard that book is cool, could you comment on it?" Boom. There's your opener. The more conversations you have, the looser you become, and the easier it becomes to *genuinely* (Not Run Game on.) converse with the attractive women you meet.

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http://www.taooftalk.com | Tao of Talk | "Talk Isn't Cheap." -- Got Trouble Opening and Holding a Conversation? Let Me Help You. It's What I Do. Send Me a PM or Visit My Site.

Thanks for your reply Tao of Talk.

Interesting link and concept. To a point I can definitely agree with what you're saying, but in a way I also disagree. The times where I had girls that I was attracted to and they were also attracted to me.. I would end up hooking up with them or getting oneitis and "choking". There definitely are times where I am slightly attracted to certain girls and when I know I can get them I get turned off.. but honestly it's the ones that I really find attractive that I have a problem with. And I don't like them because they are scarce and "more valuable".. I like them because they a f ucking hot!

I will take your advice and continue to try and be more social, but it just seems like I am not making that permanent change. It's true that I can definitely give much more of an effort as far as opening, but when I do I do ok almost every time! It just isn't natural and a part of my life like I want it to be. It's like it is always something that I 'must do', ya know?

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

Sure, I can respect that. For me, it's similar -- Mystery talks about how PUA isn't necessarily something that you embrace and become, it's more of a switch. You turn it on when you need it, and turn it off when you don't.

I don't necessarily think having it become so natural that you are always "on" is a good thing.

If, what you are after, is a relationship with another girl -- eventually, PUA simply will not cut it. If you've been dating a girl for a year, exclusively, she's not going to care about IOIs, DHVs, Kino Escalation, or LMR -- That's crap that is so far not important that you don't even need to think about it. She's going to get to know the real you.

To become and stay a natural, it's all a matter of simply immersing yourself in the topic, and, if you'll forgive the term from a Sales background, "Always be closing". Always look for that next "sale", so to speak, and eventually your PUA repertoire will be so sharpened that you'll always be on.

But, like I originally said, be careful how far down the rabbit hole you go. If you are "always closing", a girl looking for an actual relationship is going to eventually catch wind of this, and move on: she's looking for steak, and not just the sizzle.

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http://www.taooftalk.com | Tao of Talk | "Talk Isn't Cheap." -- Got Trouble Opening and Holding a Conversation? Let Me Help You. It's What I Do. Send Me a PM or Visit My Site.