I saw this coming for the past 2 weeks since she said was having doubts after our 4th date. I got a little drunk and she was distant with me the whole date though. I think I just texted her too much and got comfortable and went back to my AFC self. So I dropped contact with her for a week and got back in touch after and here is how it went. I actually took it pretty well, I really don't mind being friends because I've already moved on in a sense. Maybe I wasn't that into her.

Me: Hey how have you been?
Her: good, you?
(us talking about spring break)
Me: I have a confession
Her: shoot
Me: I sorta don't remember the night we went out last week, sorry for anything I might have said or did, don't judge!
Her: Is that an excuse? I know you told my friends I was being uptight
Me: I did? Sorry about that.
Her: It's ok I have a confession too
Me: Shoot

Her: I don't think I'm being honest with myself or you, and that's not fair to either of us. I'm just not feeling "us" You're a great guy and I've enjoyed getting to know you but my heart is not in it and I feel like I'm leading you on which is not my intention. You're in a different place in your life than I am and you deserve better. I'm sorry

Me: That's ok. I'm fine with that because I saw it coming. Being friends is actually probably better because I was starting to doubt it working out too.

Her: I figured you sensed it. Are you ok being friends?

Me: I pretty much had a hunch it wasn't going anywhere weeks ago, I'm not really looking for a relationship since I'm moving in a few months but I kinda wanted to see where it would go at the same time. And yea, I'd rather be friends than not talk at all and I wanted to see how you felt before having the friends talk.

Her: Glad we're on the same page, should have told you sooner. I just hate hurting people and didn't know how you would take it. What were you looking for if you didn't want a relationship?

Me: Good question, I guess I like to practice since I just started getting back into dating and I guess I'm always open to a relationship if that's where it goes but it wasn't until recently where I realized the bad timing if one were to happen. When did you know it wasn't going to work?

Her: Around Valentine's day

Me: Oh ok, so it was mutual So why were you talking to me like a horny gf the following weekend?

Her: Oh sorry, I wasn't faking it. I get like that when I've been drinking...and you're pretty attractive/i just wanted to talk since we were both drunk.

(She thinks I'm attractive so obviously it was my game, she was begging me to call her and saying she wants to kiss me and saying she misses me that weekend)

Me: Me too! I'm gonna miss the drunk talk Now that we're just friends could you help give me some honest pointers about how I come across women? I should have the privilege to ask for girl advice here and there

Her: Haha as long as I can ask guy advice

Me: of course, it goes both ways

Her: You need to lighetn up. You come across as ultra serious...and some people can take that as jerk-like

(I guess I wasn't too needy, this may be something I can't fix, I'm just not naturally extroverted)

Me: I've been told that before, It's not intentional as I'm naturally the quiet type so I guess it can come off like that. Anything else?

Her: Not really

Me: Well I'm going to bed, feel free to keep in touch + let me know how spring break goes

Her: It's going to be a week of drunk fun.

Me: Text me drunk, I enjoy it

Her: I'm scared of what I'd say! but maybe!


And that was that.


I was just honestly being myself. I really saw this coming weeks ago and it didn't really phase me. Should I have played it out better to gain better attraction?

Should I just go no contact from here on out? I figure that's the way to go. I tried to set the stage so she would be more comfortable texting me now and then and that's where I could play more game. It won't work If I keep initiating texts.

woow,

you came across that completely wrong,

like man.. shit,

if that was me, after she said

"I don't think I'm being honest with myself or you, and that's not fair to either of us. I'm just not feeling "us" You're a great guy and I've enjoyed getting to know you but my heart is not in it and I feel like I'm leading you on which is not my intention. You're in a different place in your life than I am and you deserve better. I'm sorry"

I would have replyed with,

k sweet talk to ya later.

Man, if i was you completely cut contact with her, don't even reply if she contacts you, aleast for a little while.

You told her you want to be friends, this is saying to her You still like her and won't leave her side, what you should be doing is creating whats called "fear of a loss" with her, this is her thinking oh shit hes moving on im going to loose him.

I'm guessing you didn't have sex with her ever? Go no contact for at least a month and then shoot her a text.

*Shrug* It happens. I think you handled it fairly well. You didn't get mad or needy or bitter, which is really the biggest mistake guys make in this situation. You were really cool about it, actually. So yeah, you can take the advice of the guys above and ignore her for awhile, or keep her as a pivot (i.e. wingwoman). It never hurts to have a couple attractive female friends.

That being said, don't text so much in the future. You should really only be texting to establish logistics (where and when you're going to meet up next).

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

I'm 23 she was 21. We're both the same religion but she is a virgin save it till marriage type so the most we ever did was make out and stuff. So that's as far as I would ever get with her (I think).

The biggest thing I'll miss is going downtown and parties with her and her friends. If I can keep doing that as a friend then it would really help my game. That's sorta what I was thinking.

I don't really have many friends as girls so I just don't sense the loss yet. I guess I like her yeah but not as much as I thought I did.

I do plan on going no contact mostly because I want to move on for a while and hopefully meet other girls but I guess I'll put the friendship ball in her court. Maybe shoot her a text next month.

Yeah the biggest mistake I learned from this is to avoid texting relationships. Looking at my phone I believe a total of 2400 texts between us two were sent since I've kown her. She sent just as many as I sent and such. She really likes to text a lot. Oh well...