I don't think my relationship is healthy at the moment, it feels like i am not in control at all and that i like her more then she likes me.

Note: I am dating her for 4 months but only found out about PUA about 1 month ago so i guess i screwed up.


I just want to fix this relationship (and stop having to make topics about it haha) for once and for all..

*CLIFFS*
- Dating for 4 months
- She's 17, i am 19
- I am the first guy she ever had a relationship with
- I am only the second guy she ever kissed
- I took her virginity


I am more invested

I literally want to do everything with her, if it was possible i would see her everyday for example and enjoy it. I am madly in love with her and i can't stop it. The reality is that i only see her once maybe twice a week... She's very busy with school on mon-fri and usually see her 1 night a week, on the remaining days we talk a lot on SPAM (text).

Yesterday we went to a party with both of our friends (we were with like 10 people).. Anyway, i felt like she avoided me all night, everytime i wanted to dance with her she would dance for 5 seconds and walk away or something.. I would never do this and happily dance with her if she came to me, thats why i think i like her more then she likes me..

Also i saw her flirting with a guy and touching him on the chest, he had his hands on her hips etc... I know this shouldn't bother me but i am just deeply in love that it annoys me.. I need to get over myself but i don't know how..

Now it's vacation coming up and i asked her if she wanted to do something on sunday monday tuesday or wednesday, she said she had to check first because she is busy with school or something.. But it's vacation! A whole week! Surely she can make time for me? ..

I just want her to start liking me as much as i like her..

Edit: Also a little thing that bothered me, yesterday i was walking to the house of her girlfriend (She was there already) and i couldn't find it and asked her on text ''At XXX should i take a left or a right'' and she responded with '' I dont know haha'' and didnt respond after that.. In my head i was thinking ''why can't you just ask? do you not care about me at all?''

Maybe im crazy that i get annoyed by stuff like this and just need to get over myself..

Sex problems

I took her virginity yes.. But in the 4 months we are dating we've had sex once ... yes, once.

We had sex around the 2 month mark and because i was nervous (i think) i had a hard time to get it up and get it to stay up.. Everytime it went soft and it was just very annoying.

I don't think she enjoyed it really.. Also she never initiates sex.. I'm always the one who has to start.. We have been trying to have sex a lot after that but everytime my penis just didn't get hard... It annoyed the fuck out of me and i am even at the point where i want to take viagra (Stupid because when im alone i have no problems). I also stopped watching porn and stuff like that.

I started learning about sex and reading books about how to give orgasms and stuff, last time i ate her out and almost gave her an orgasm ( she said) but her mom came disturbing us so yea...

Im starting to wonder if this is maybe the big problem that's causing all this in the relationship?

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Summary: I just want her to also fall deeply in love with me (wich she isn't right now i believe). She is in control at the moment because i am the one chasing her.. I just want to learn how to fix this and get a healthy relationship. I also feel she is slowly slipping away from me

Dont give too much of yourselves to her.
Let her miss you - dont be to much avibile or try to freeze her a little bit out 1-2 days.. let her fight for you !

What about next time i fuck her good and make her cum with atleast my mouth and maybe more if everything goes right, then after that i can be less available ?

Well, the one who cares the less has the control in the relationship.

At this moment she cares less.

What you have to do, is stop asking for dates, let her initiate it. stop initiate for sex, let her do it. (if she doesn't initiate, sorry to tell you, but you know enough)

for the sex thing. It's in your head, if it works when you're alone, it works when you're with her.

But, i think this is indeed a big part of you problem, it makes you insecure.

Trust on yourself, get over your limited beliefs, the human body is more powerfull then you can imagine...

and the most important thing, love is their to be enjoyed, not to stress over. if you feel insecure, consider getting out of the relationship, and fix your problems first.

You're thinking about sex in the wrong way. If you go in with the mindset that you need to make her orgasm, you're setting yourself up to have performance anxiety and will have a hard time getting it up.

Be selfish, as my friend put it "I'm just trying to get my nut, I don't care about anything else." The sex will be good for her even if she doesn't orgasm. A lot of her satisfaction comes from knowing she's pleased you too.

So go in, use her for your own satisfaction, and then when she's more sexually invested in you, you will get opportunities to become better at it through experience.

Thats absolutely true. If you keep doing what you are doing now, you are heading for disaster. You should step back. No girl will leave you for not loving her, but they certanly will for loving her too much!

As for the dancing: you need to do push-pull. You were just pushing all the time. If she is like this, you freeze her out. And wait for her to come to you. Start chatting with random girls around! Don't chase her.

Also be ready to lose her. You can't keep her unless you are ready to lose her also. Don't be a clingy AFC. The reason why you you've been able to get alay with so many mistakes is because she's young and inexperienced. I'm sure she's has already thought of dumping you.

If she keeps being like this and freezing her out is not working, you will need to dump her to make an impact (as a last resort).

She's just shit testing you. She's not busy. If a girl wants to meet you, she will find the time regardless of her schedule. Cut communication with her for at least a few days. It should be you, who is less avalable. But don't make it look like you are purpsely ignoring her.
Harcore shit testing
You can't get her more invested without regularly fucking her. You need to have sex with her, period.

As for the sex problem, it happened to me when I was young, happened to a lot of ppl. You need a nice GF for that, who's not stressing you out at all. Someone who is patient. It will be gone in a second or maximum a few weeks if the girl is nice and understanding and not putting pressure on you. This is just a psycholical thing. You should also not worry about this one. It also help a lot if you completely stop masturbating. So don't worry about this part, it will be solved.

But the most important is to back off. Don't be a clingy AFC. If she says she doesn't have time to see you, be ok with it. Go out and meet new girls, so you wont be thinking about her all the fucking time. Otherwise you go crazy. Cut communication with her for a few days. Be less avalable. And don't dare to tell her that you love her!!! That would guarantee you being dumped very very fast.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Answers in bold! Thanks for the response!

I don't see any other thing that would work. No risk = no reward. What you are doing now is clearly not working. You have to change to way you handle this girl. You are worried about losing this girl by freezing her out for a few days? You have to be more badass than that.
Just don't write her from now on, and wait for her to look for you! She texts first now. You also wanna start ignoring some of her texts and calls. Reduce communication. Let her miss you. Let her be the one who texts / calls first.
Shit tests are completely normal, every girl does that. She tests you, how much of a man you are. They wanna see if they can manipulate you. But you have to recognize shit tests to pass them. Mostly you just ignore the test, or you can come up with some witty / funny response.
I'm not sure you passed this one, because you wrote her again after she sent you this "I dont know haha". You should have either ignored this completely or write her somehting like "smart ass.. if i asked you about directions to the hardresser than you would know for sure haha" or "so you dont know where you are? hope you were not abducted "
cool, you did that very well! now just don't be too obsessed with this girl, let her keep saying it if she likes, but it is just not true. If a girl is really in love with you, than she will want to be with you all the time and this is not the case here.


Also, make sure you read this one, very helpful stuff:
1-vt94002.html?start=0

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Thanks a lot man! Will follow your advice!

just make sure you have sex with her the next time you meet her. you will aslo have better chances for that if she's been missing you.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Wow dude you were absolutely right..

All this time she said she had to study and didn't have any time to hangout and today i kind of ignored some texts, pretended to be busy, replied sometimes, sometimes not, and she told me that tonight she is going out for 2 hours with her friends cause they forced her...

This really made me feel like shit, she told me she wasn't allowed to go from her parents and stuff and now she says this? but i guess i should keep strong and don't let her notice it?

Sigh... really pissed right now

Don't show the slightest sign that you are affected by this. Just go out with your friends, hit a club, talk to girls, flirt with them, k or f-close them if you like. This will surely help you reduce your oneitis. Don't think about this GF too much, not more than she is thinking about you.

Don't be available for her, ignore her, show her how much fun you are having without her. Be busy. She will wonder why that is. Give her room to like you and come after you. If you are there and available all the time this is not gonna happen.

Do get another girl like you. Even the smallest things matter: start adding old female acquaintances on facebook, you haven't added yet. Every GF checks your new fb friends all the time, so pick some hot ones.
Be seen with other girls.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

I am probally gonna do something with my friends tonight yes, i don't like the idea of cheating on my GF tho as you suggested..

Also, thursday she's coming out to dinner with me and my family for my mom's birthday.. Wouldn't it be awkward if i ignored her for 2 days then go out for dinner?

Or maybe i should re evaluate after dinner?

I was just telling you to interact and flirt with other girls, there is nothing wrong with that. Anything else is optional The whole point is to stop thinking about this girl so much.

Yeah, she will call you about the dinner and details anyway, so its perfectly ok if you don't call / text her. She should initate first.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

I woke up today and got a message from her saying she wants to talk about something

She said

Gf: ''I don't feel like you want me as your girlfriend anymore''
Me: Huh why not?
Gf: Because i can't see u that often and you're doing different towards me lately
Me: Well you seemed kinda busy lately and i have been hanging out with my friends a lot
Gf: What do you mean busy?
Me: Well like avoiding me at the party and stuff, i thought you needed some space so i went out with my friends a lot lately,

*conversation went on and at the end she said ''okay forget this conversation ever happened!*

and then later she told me she wanted to hang out with me today but had to ask her parents for premission ..

So yeah, liking the results so far of this ''semi-freezeout'' !

Btw: The friends im hanging out with are 80% girls and 20% guys so maybe she's jealous? I told her that tonight im going with my friends again and we're going to play twister with shots and after that monopoly or something and she said

''Okee thats fun''
''I guess....''

don't know she seems jealous? My friend told me that i should ask her to come aswell, but im sure she can't because of her parents and yea don't know .. ?