Hey everyone,

This is my first post on here, I just registered, been lurking for a while, and I got a lot of good advice and confidence from these forums, I would like to first thank everyone on here for that.

So I decided to try the online dating thing, since its pretty slow and boring in my town and I am not going to school having graduated hs last year.

I set up a profile on ok cupid, took the same pic from my fb, wrote a good summary about myself making it clear I like doing fun things, travel, adventure etc etc.

I had just finally started to message girls lately, and my first one just a stupid "hey hows it going" of course got no reply, she was barely even a 6 tho anyway, basically I've been messaging anyone hot even if they aren't 100% my type, just to get some experience.

So I would read their profile and just compliment them on something ,sometimes just make a quick joke or comment, and just end it, those types of messages have seemed to work with at least 80% replying.

ANYWAY, crazy thing is there is this cute HB in my town I met about almost a yr ago, only saw her 2 or 3x, each time lightly flirted, but I thought my friend a yr younger than me who would always pick her up to chill was trying to go for it, but he hesitated and even though they would meet up at 4 am and all in the summer he never made his move, and she complained to some mutual friends about this,

Around then he would kinda try to see what I thought of her, I always said shes tooo young (shes 3 or 3 1/2 yrs younger than me) and he was like yea thats why I didnt wanna make my move and I was just laughing on the inside, hes just a poor AFC

So weird thing is she looked at my profile on okc yesterday and I saw this a few hrs later, and messaged her on there, at first I was gonna be like hey wtf you doing on this damn site -- your not 18 or some sh1t but I stopped my self and came up with this sh1t:

(in a way I now I wish I just said hey - what the heck are you doing on here to get a better convo going,) what i wrote-

"hey its really funny cause I could swear there's this mad chill girl who also lives in (my town) who like just grabbed the exact same picture as her fb profile mad quick like I did, just to put it on this lame ass site and see whats good, and I think her name started with an A also, it's just such a bizarre coincidence, but since your 18 I guess I must be thinking of someone else right?"

And she writes back this morning :

"yeah its really funny cause I dont know if u recall but I'm friends with [(my AFC friend), (c, another long time friend of mine) and v (c's gf of 2+ yrs now)] nd weve met a few times, and I'm not18 .nd yeah this site was a stretch for me nd I don't enjoy it much at all "


I doubt she would be coming on here, but I didn't want to use their actual names cuz ya neva kno


so how should I even respond? Is she pulling some kind of slight sh1t test or something here?

BUMP please is there anyone with an idea how I should reply to this? Should I just be like nope sorry don't know you then change the subject, (making her try to 'qualify herself' more?? if this makes sense?

Or just be like OK I know you blah blah I AM JUST SO STUCK WITH HOW TO REPLY its hard to tell online what ppl mean cause you cant judge by their tone of voice.

Thanks for any help!!

Doesn't sound sarcastic or shit-testy to me. I say you just respond by telling her that you are hesitant about this site too, and that the two of you should commiserate over it together over a coffee.

Best,

JPow

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JPow's (free) Holistic Internet Dating Guide: jpows-holistic-online-dating-guide-feed ... 28120.html

Agree. She's ashamed you caught her on the site.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Damn well i wish I wrote her a better response. It was difficult because I have met her so I had an idea of her personality but still was unsure, I wrote a pretty lame reply yesterday-

"Sure I remember meeting you, damn you really don't get sarcasm do you? Last summer x was with (x's gf) and I and we picked you up and (then I joke about how we went for a ride, and smoked a bunt which my friend rolled so terrible it didnt even hit (I remember her and I were joking about it that day)

And this site isn't that bad, better than I expected, met a few chill ppl so far, was mad surprised to see YOU on here, but give it a chance, haha I'm sure mad guys have been bothering you by now anyways "

I could have done WAY better. but keep in mind, this girl is probably like a junior in hs and I graduated last yr. and I am a year older than everyone in my class. So she is quite a bit younger. (3 yrs maybe) could I see myself going out w/ her? maybe, but its not something I am trying to really go for SPAM. I mean shes really, really cute and one of the chillest sweetest girls i've met, genuinely a good person, and we have similar taste with music and stuff. Anyway, she writes back:

" Yeah but they're all skeezy and yeah I guess I wasn't that perceptive lol. I'm just not good at talking online.its kinda fun tho "

to which i just lamely write back:

" nah its not that u weren't perceptive it is impossible to really understand somebody with just written words imo "

At this point I don't really even expect a reply, which is all good, if she was a little more interested seeming in her reply I would have wrote something a little better, but I just figured I should be straightforward, and cut the shit.

Damn im such an AFC, now I am just wishing initially I messaged her and been like "hey what the heck you doing on here" and been more straightforward, and cut the stupid sarcasm and bullshit, cause I probably would have 'clicked' better with this convo from the start, rather than be all weird.

But its not a big deal, I was always slightly interested in her and when she added me on fb a few weeks ago I figured she may be slightly interested, but once I see she had checked me out on OKC i was like well wtf I gotta say something

Dude, you gotta get you shit together, get your priorities straight. SERIOUSLY.

Do you want or not to go out with her? If you do, game her. If not, stop worrying about the convo and just chill.

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Co-joint journal double-jornal-from-afc-to-pua-vt126220.html

Yes, youre right, I just have no clue of she is even mildly interested in me ( she could have just been really surprised, as I was, to see my profile so she checked it out) and so I don t want to creep her out, but honestly if she was my age, I would have pursued this way differently, because I wouldn't have to worry about being that "creepy older guy hitting on a way too young girl"

I wrote that lame ass boring line back, agreeing with her, because I figured if she was interested, she might continue the convo, if not, so what, move along, and tease her for being on the site next time I see her, but not in front of her friends or anything, I would never do anything to embarrass her, because I woundnt need to anyway

Assume she's interested and leverage the age difference into a DHV for you. If she's into you, the part of attraction is that you're older. So act your age, don't worry about her's. Get her for a coffee and take it from there. If you're not sure what you're doing, don't worry, neither is she She's probably really insecure, you have to lead this one.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.