The other night I met up with my girlfriend and some of her friends for drinks. Before meeting up, I worked a super stressful shift at work, and wasn't in the best of moods.

Another thing about me is I have had acne for years, and it has always been a huge insecurity of mine. I have been able to keep it under control lately through proper dieting and nutrition, but on this occasion, I had a nasty pimple coming in, which I was growing more and more self conscious towards throughout the day. At one point, I was debating going out that night because I really cannot stand acne and it kills my self confidence.

Anyways, we all meet up, and my girlfriend starts talking to one of her friends, F, about F's love life. F mentions that this one guy is pretty into her, but she just doesn't find him attractive. She then said, he isn't ugly, she just isn't attracted to him. To which my girlfriend immediately replied,

"O, does he have acne or something?"

I know it was just a little question, and may not really have been directed at me but it really caught me off guard. I don't know if it was just timing, if I was more buzzed than I thought, but I didn't really respond in the best way.

I asked her what's wrong with acne, to which she didn't really respond. I then got up and moved to the other side of the room to kind of get away from the scene. A few minutes later, we are ready to head out to a party and my girlfriend comes up to me to try and get a hug, and I just ignore her and walk past her out the door. She responded by laughing and saying, well okay.

Then a few minutes later, she tried to stop me in the hall for a kiss and hug again, and I kind of pushed her away, still ignoring her. I know this may not have been the best reaction, but on top of being self-conscious, tired and drunk, it was the best I could do.

On the way to the party, I ignored her the entire way and just talked with other friends. Basically gave her a freeze-out. I did this more because I was trying to understand the entire situation and how best to respond. And I was genuinely hurt by her. After we got to the party, her and I found ourselves alone in a room together, and I used this opportunity to talk to her.

I asked her why she said that about acne, and asked her how should I feel when i have acne?

She replied saying that, she feels as though I am worried that she wouldn't find me attractive if I had acne, but she told me she would always think i'm sexy and would never think that about me. She also said it's not a huge deal, everyone including her gets it, and its not like she hangs out with super models.

We talked a little more about it, and I was trying to do my best not to come off insecure, which I'm sure already happened long ago. We kissed before we left the room, and agreed that everything was fine. The rest of the night was great between us.

But what I am worried about now is, did I fuck things up and now my gf will view me as an insecure afc with acne? Can I be comfortable around her if I have a few zits? Was I reading too into her question or was it actually directed at me? How can I go about regaining the upper hand and confidence in this relationship?

Dude, with my first girlfriend things like this happened all the time. Little things would set me off, and we'd spend the night either arguing or with me going off and refusing to speak to her. It was bad, man. I could tell you some stories. I once stormed into the women's bathroom and tried to break up with her in there!

I think it was a combination of things. Alcohol was a big player. Drink less, man. My insecurity was another factor. I'd read too much into things she said, get jealous when I saw her talking to another guy, etc. But another thing was - she KNEW how to push my buttons. She learned that she could do/say certain things to make me insecure and go totally AFC on her. And I think she sometimes consciously tried to do it. Why? For the attention. To feel validated. To feel she had power over me.

So what happened is not a big deal so long as it's a one-off occurrence and doesn't happen again. Because if it does, a pattern will emerge and she'll start to enjoy the power she has over you. And you'll have a lot of shitty nights.

At least, despite the fact you came off slightly insecure, she had to work to get you back through the course of the night. When you didn't like the situation you removed yourself from it; that's cool. At least you didn't start shouting at her across the table! I've had worse.

It'll be fine dude. If you're out with her and your friends and something like that happens again, make a conscious effort NOT to address it then and there. Give it time to sink in. Tell yourself if it's really a big deal, you'll talk to her about it in the morning. Otherwise you risk embarrassment.

The above answer is a nice way of saying you acted retarded. A femae would have acted the way you did if she offended in public. I suggest you learn to control your emotions. Try to catch when the slip up and view yourself from a third person view. This will help you realize when you are acting foolish and you can calm yourself down.

Mate, reading all that made me cringe..

You need to get the sand out of your vagina and realise what differentiates us from the woman. Christ man, don't be soo sensitive - furthermore to that, learn to not OVER react.. you totally did.

You seriously came off like the chick. I mean how do you think that's going to help your cause? You need to learn to control your emotions and man up a bit.. Dude, i'm 26, still I get pimples, take control of it go see a doctor if your worried there is much, much, much that can be done!

Next time you feel like you want to "freeze out" your girlfriend ask yourself

- am I focussing on the bigger picture here?

- and if someone did this to me, would I just lose respect for them?

Your not a girl, so stop acting like one.

^THIS!