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Well guys, I talked to her, let her know how i feel. I said I was being exactly what I didn't want to be, which is controlling, possesive, and paranoid about her cheating on me. she said that its fine I was being an ass, and she also said that a while ago, someone told her that almost everyone is gping to give you bullshit at some point in your relationship with them, its up to you if they are worth it, to get through it. she said yes i was being immature and possesive, but knew I would come around to realize that, and everything would be fine, and that she loves me with all her heart and was definitely willing to wait.
case closed. End of story. That was easy, thanks to your guys' advice!
Okay, I may be a little analytical by saying this, but it's something to keep in mind at the very least for future reference. You made a minor (hopefully minor) mistake when you apologized to her. You shouldn't have told her you were paranoid about her cheating on you. She probably didn't know you were that insecure. Your apology was too beta/AFC. You basically told her she is 100% right and you were a total idiot. You gave her a lot of power and lowered your value, demonstrated in-congruence.
Now I was not there to see how you did it so hopefully your body language was good. The way I would have apologized would have been straight to the point and keeping it short then moving on no matter how she reacts. I would have said "listen babe, I've been doing some thinking and I've realized that I've been a little controlling with who you hang out with. Although I may be a bit uncomfortable when you're alone with another man, I want you to know that I trust you completely and want you to be happy."
...that was longer then I anticipated but I just made it up, so somewhere along those lines and you have to say this with a very calm voice and a mature look on your face. If she has the nerve to put you down after by saying yea you have been pretty immature and possessive with a bitch tone, you have to counter and end it on your terms. This will reinforce your role as the man and leader...so in that situation, you would respond by saying "look, I already apologized and I want to move past it so lets drop it already (don't show too much emotion in this response)."
You gotta remember that when having relationship issues, its important you deal with them quick and end it on your terms, even if she might think it's hers. her subconscious will take note of what happened and if there is incongruency and an opening on your part as a man, you better believe this will come up in the future even if you get married, trust me.
How many of you guys know married couples where even if the husband is mostly a cool dude, you see the wife making smart remarks, sometimes puts him down even if jokingly or starts bitching/arguing to get her way and sometimes the husband caves in often saying "gotta keep the wife happy" as his dignity and masculinity goes down the drain. I want everyone to understand this as a point of reference cause this shit happens all the time in a relationship and if you're not careful and don't take notice, you may have already conditioned her to overpower you.
CHAT
No fucking worries, most girls have those guys around them.
I am not trying to be a dick, but you are 19 and talking to a girl about marriage after 7 months? This sounds like a future AFC story in the "Introduce yourself" section.
