Hi

I have been on a dating site and finding I am getting a reasonable response but could always do better.

I have found the following:

1. Women just put up an ad and men are expected to message them.

2. Women respond to ads.

That's how it seems to work - just like life really so no problem there.

Just sending a message like: 'Hi babes wanna chat' usually elicits very low response rate.

So anyone got any comments on how to put together a message?

I usually find you have to do it the hard way. Eg actually read her profile and customise some message based on that. Then your message relates to her.

Some women put such gibberish on their profile - eg want to meet a nice man who will care for me. Not a lot to go on.

Anyway, any suggestions will be most appreciated.

darksensual

This is actually something I was thinking of earlier (although I was relating ti to facebook/myspace)

I wonder is there a way to successfully DHV in your profile?? If you could DHV enough in your profile then perhaps women would message you and this wouldn't even be an issue? or at the very least, when you messaged them they would be more inclined to respond positively.

There is a decently sure way to get a response from your messages out. There are two things you want to do:

1: Don't reveal much of anything about yourself off the bat. Definitely not more than she has revealed about herself.

2: Engage her on an emotional level. (easy to say...I know) You don't want to respond with a long paragraph of information. One to three lines is it. Find something in the ad and pick it out, and blow it up. If there's nothing in the ad worth responding to then I usually just pass it by, though you could certainly poke fun at them for posting such a lame ad. It's not like it matters if they don't respond to you.

An example:
Ad:
Looking for a casual date with someone respectful (22-30). I just want
to have a good time with someone fun, and if things go well, perhaps
some PG13 excitement.

My response:
Just what kind of entertainment is PG 13 entertainment? I've seen some
pretty risqué PG13 movies. Sure, they might have kissing and such, but
sometimes they even have simulated sex off screen, or some, very
brief, flashing. Wouldn't want to get the wrong idea about you, ya know...

Yes.

For one, don't just put head shots of you in your profile. Put pictures
of you on a trip to Egypt (or where ever). Social pics: You with a few
girls and guys having a good time. A pic of you and your dog. Pic of
you being active... stuff like that.

Now, I'm not advocating putting up pics of you with your ex or in a hot
tub making out with 5 girls... but you get the point. Hell, those MIGHT
even work in some cases.

You can also story tell in your profile. Here's an example of story
telling while being mysterious at the same time:

"Oh, and then there's the time my friends and I sneaked onto the
red carpet at the premier of Mr. and Mr. Smith and we... oops, I've
said too much"

And remember, an online dating profile is a "brochure" for you.
Don't tell everything. Keep it concise, yet interesting.

Sites like Myspace and Facebook are NOT dating sites. They are social
networking sites. Write your profile accordingly. Be even more casual
in them.