Hey guys,
Okay so I've been with this girl about 2 months now, and we are really happy together, we've even just started saying love you. (which is kinda soon i know but i went with it, i think i do love her now, its great) anyways...

I went out the other night with a couple of mates from work, a guy and a girl.
The guy I was out with is in a big arguement with his girlfriend at the minute and they are borderline breaking up. This girl had even been into our store to check out the girl who was out with us that night because she thought he may have been up to something or vice versa.

Anyways, so my friends girlfriend was out that night as well and met up with my mate later so they could share their taxi home. He quickly said to me before she arrived, just give lauren (the girl from work) a hug and pretend you're together when she gets here so she doesnt get suspicious, so without thinking being a little drunk and tired thought nothing of it, and it was literally just a hug, she didnt suspect a thing and the night was over.

When I was telling my girlfriend about my night I told her about my mate and his girlfriend and how bad they were and (being new to relationships and i'm quite an honest person) made a joke about pretending to be with this girl that night and was like 'crazy huh?'

TWAT. Dick move! Idiot. lol

She was upset and nearly broke up with me cos she felt like she didnt exist and and i totally realise this now and feel really bad.

She's been off with me ever since but I did some good apologies but still its not like it was before obviously, she used to text me all the time but now its like nothing.

Do you think I should wait it out, or buy her some flowers to say sorry or send her a loving text or... what?? I'm getting quite worried about it all and don't really know what to do or say... any suggesttions???

Cheers!

that's way too AFC. i think what you did wrong was appoligizing for a hug. she shouldn't be that sensitive, she clearly overreacted. it was just a hug, c'mon (let us know if there was more).

don't appolgize. don't buy her flowers! you are not her puppy. if she realizes that you are a strong person and won't bent, she ll like you more. don't let her control you. don't go running after her if she's giving you a little freezout.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Thanks for the reply

I do personally think that she over-reacted too! But still she's quite upset about it and I just wanna make things right really...

I guess It's like I was saying I was single when I wasn't which is almost like saying she means nothing to me even though she does if you get me.

Okay, I have two links at the bottom of my post. The first is about screening. What kind of girl are you dealing with? The second post is about handling drama.. you would probably find that applicable to your situation.

Anyway, read both posts.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

lol wtf, why are you being such an AFC with her. It was probably a shit test. You did nothing wrong!! It was just a hug to help your friend. You're not allowed to hug other girls now cause you're in a relationship? She should be lucky you're so honest.

Be a man bro, be firm and assertive. Tell her, look, you've been acting off lately. If it's about that hug, you are overreacting. I didn't kiss anyone else, I have never cheated and I have always been honest with you. I think we are great together, but if you have a problem, it's best you be honest with me as I have been with you."

...something along those lines, I would have been more assertive but I can tell you wouldnt try to risk it too much. If she's still bitchy after all that and threatens to break up, then tell her it's her loss cause there's not many guys like you out there.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE COOL, CALM AND COLLECTIVE in the whole conversation with firm body language. This is important if you want to gain control back. You have to consider the possibility of losing her, but if that happens it's for the best in the long run.

Thanks for your feedback, You've been very helpful.
But we broke up in the end, if she's gonna be like that as well, being jealous and everything over nothing.. it would have been worse if I hadn't said anything exactly!

But I have a good social life now, enjoying going out on the town and having a good time which is what it's all about really!

But what you said was helpful, I told her that and she decided in the end she doesnt want a relationship so it's her loss really..

I've left it well too, she's hinting at getting back together like saying I'm so lost and I don't know what I want yet so i'm just gonna leave it to her now.. let her come to me!

Cheers guys

You apologized and now you want to send her flowers? There are plenty of vaginas out there. Also, you should take a step back and see that the two of you have only been together for two months and y'all are already saying "love" to each other. This tells me that one of you is needy. And maybe both. It's not a recipe for a good relationship. Before you know it you will be her bitch. Be a man and stand your ground. Let her know it was only a hug and why you did it. Don't give in.

Yeah you're right, to be totally honest the first time was just to keep her happy because she started saying it to me, and as I'm new to relationships I didn't want to ruin anything so went along with it...

But now like you say I take a step back it was never really gonna work. And yeah I should stand my ground, i never did actually buy her anything.. that was just some advice from a friend, i told her why i did it and stood by it and then she left so I don't really know what was going on with her but if it's gonna stop my freedom and looking out for my friends then that's just not me and i'm not gonna let her control me. Time to move on!

Thanks for your input, appreciate it.

I think at the end of the day it's still best to avoid mentioning situations like this in the first place. - (TOP TIP)

You guys are acting like it's something crazy or the end the world if your GF gets mad at you. My GF is mad at me 30% of the time for either saying something retarded, doing something retarded, staring at hot chicks or not giving enough attention to her. You didn't do anything wrong and she is over reacting. Don't apologize for shit and ride it out. Girls are really emotional and jump from hate to love very easily. Just don't cave and act like a wuss. I normally call her up and continue a normal conversation. She might be pissy for a little but I make her laugh and make plans. Problem solved(unless I really fucked up)

She was overreacting, just tell her that you gave the girl a hug because you were helping out your friend. You are already at the "love you phase" so something such as helping out a friend by giving a girl a hug will not ruin that love. In fact, you should be a little upset at her because she overreacted in such a harsh way. Just explain to her that you were helping out a good friend and forget about the flowers and such. Buying presents is in some way agreeing with her that you were wrong, which you are not. I understand that you panicked though, it happens to the best of us

She should be happy because you were honest about what happened, where is her trust? you should've called her out on that instead of apologizing.

Apologize only when you "Seriously" Fuck up, and never mention the mistake again, or act as an AFC after that.

But in your case you have to look more into how you see things your way, not her way, and make that the frame of the relationship.

She got mad over you hugging that girl? Stay chill and think of her as being "Cute" because she got jealous over that, oww someone's jealous? etc.

But since you made it a big deal, it's a big deal.

yeah you're absolutely right, she made a big deal out of it and i just agreed with her to try and stop the argument but it made things worse, i should have held my ground on it and she would have probably respected that after all said and done.

Se told you she loves you.

she lied.

one does not act so over reacting when in love.

my oppinion.