Not that intrested anymore... Me, her or relationship?



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:55 pm 
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Sup guys.

I know there are some good posters here, i would like to get ur opinion.

Gf and i, been together 1,5 yr.

But lately i seem to notice that i'm not that intrested anymore. Not doing the efforts i used to do. Like she meets with a mutual friend to go out to bars etc, couple months ago i would've feel the urge to go with them and have fun. Now, i feel like calling mates and hang out with them watching tv, anything but going to the bars.

She notices the behaviour, and asks don't you want to see me anymore? I deny this.

Now thing is, i'm inputting exactly the effort that she is. She meets with her friend, and invite me. I meet with my friend (don't invite her, becuase she has plans).

So my chance of seeing her i must see the other girl too.

She can't come to me, becuase she has no driver license, i do have one.

So i must always grab her and bring her to my home. (again i bring in same effort as she is, none)

Now, is it me? (because i don't do the effort)
is it her? (becuase she doesn't do the effort) (always sad when she can't see me tough)
or is it the relationship.

The more opinions the better, thx!!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:38 pm 
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Do you still have a good sexual desire for her? Or is that fading as well? I know for me in relationships sometimes I get lazy and lose motivation to please her and sometimes myself


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 12:07 am 
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Quote:
Do you still have a good sexual desire for her? Or is that fading as well? I know for me in relationships sometimes I get lazy and lose motivation to please her and sometimes myself
fading as well...


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:51 am 
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Lets be honest is completly normal.

Almost 2 years is a alot.

Ofcourse sex and desire is going to go downhill. I would sugest spending less time, and evaluate your situation then, if you miss her or not.

Lets face it, the best part in the relantioship is in 3 months. People are discovering themself.

What really matters here, is that if you are willing to lose her for another man, and you on the counterpart having another relantioship with a new girl.

Mean Discovering a new entire person. This decision is entire up to you.

And see that relantioships are rollercoaster with up and downs.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 6:33 am 
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This happened to me a week ago. I started getting distant with her unintentionally, lost sexual attraction, didn't feel like seeing her, I was hanging out with my friends, playing video games, improving myself. I got sad and frustrated that I had lost attraction for her because I love her and care about her a lot and she's the perfect girlfriend so I told myself I had to have a talk with her and tell her that the chemistry just isn't there anymore and we had to spice things up in order to work out btw this is 5 months into the relationship. This week, nothing was spiced up but I gained back my feelings somehow. Sometimes we just go through phrases and it's temporary, so just try to stop thinking negative about her. Even though you're not making an effort sub consciously, try to make an effort consciously to do whatever you did before (that's if you really love her and she's worth it, if not just move on or else you might go years not doing anything and regret it 10 years later)


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Quote:
Lets be honest is completly normal.

Almost 2 years is a alot.

Ofcourse sex and desire is going to go downhill. I would sugest spending less time, and evaluate your situation then, if you miss her or not.

Lets face it, the best part in the relantioship is in 3 months. People are discovering themself.

What really matters here, is that if you are willing to lose her for another man, and you on the counterpart having another relantioship with a new girl.

Mean Discovering a new entire person. This decision is entire up to you.

And see that relantioships are rollercoaster with up and downs.
Thanks for input.

Thing is, i will miss her when we're not together. But if you have a constant availability of female affection and you take that away. It will be missed. But is it her that i will miss or her affection.

So i'm a bit doubtfull to your plan.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:13 pm 
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It sounds like you are both too comfortable.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:02 pm 
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Hey man yea it sounds like things are getting too comfortable. You have to lead the relationship where you want it to be. Think back when you first met her what were the things you were doing then that really attracted her. Are you still going out and doing those things what ever they may be. Start being more spontaneous, always make future plans. Change it up plan a weekend to travel together, concerts, different activities that you've guys never done before so you can share those experiences together. Sky diving, Rock climbing, Caving, go to the beach, Just go for a random walk through a forest, Volunteer together at a homeless shelter. Have sex in public. Start doing shit you're the leader she will follow.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:18 pm 
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Yeah I find going back and doing the things you did when you first met or remenissing about old times will bring back some attraction, start going to new places/doing new things as well :) get out of your routine a little


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