Relationships
I can tell you guys that relationship management and pickup game are two entirely different things. It’s unwise to apply pickup techniques to a relationship.
1. She is already invested.
It’s easy to forget that you are already in a relationship. Half the battle is over just getting to that point. When you have a long term girl friend you should never panic. She’s already invested into you and the relationship. You can break many of the rules I’m about to give you and still work things out.
2. Lead
Women will often stay in unhealthy relationships with assholes, misogynists and sexists for long periods of time. It’s a strange concept to wrap your head around but women want to be with a man that takes charge. She wants you to lead the relationship and make the decisions. When she asks: “where do you want to eat?” you should have something more to say then “I donno where ever”. This sort of laid back attitude (if over used) comes across as weak and displays a male without a strong identity or frame.
In most instances you probably do have a choice in mind but you say “whatever” to avoid anyone else being disappointed or upset.
Pissing people off is a part of life. “Nice guys” are not really nice. Nice guys are men who are terrified of breaking rapport. They want to make everyone happy and in doing so they allow people to walk all over them. Accept it you’re a man and people won’t like you. Being nice is an excuse for cowardice. The world is a mean and hard place and if you don’t step up you’ll never get what you want. As a leader you’ll always be questioned, resented and scorned.
“If you shoot the deer the woman hates you for shooting an innocent creature. If you don’t shoot it she hates you for not providing food for your family.” Either way she won’t like you. Deal with it.
This is the whole concept behind Neg Theory.
Neg theory is designed to break rapport. The reason this comes off as so attractive is because people seek rapport with those of equal or higher value and avoid rapport with those of lower value. If you’re willing to upset someone then obviously they aren’t “above” you in terms of value.
Alpha males take this one step further by breaking rapport with just about anyone, regardless of value. Men of high value demand respect:
“I don’t care who you think you are!”
More often than not this confidence and willingness to cause tension is enough for someone to take the role of leader within a given social circle. If you believe that you’re the dominant leader then you will be.
You’ll see this at parties and social events. The man willing to cause tension and awkwardness will suddenly become very attractive to all the women in the room. It’s a display of willingness to break rapport and cause a problem. This is without question is a feature of strength, leadership and alpha male behaviour.
Many people hear “dominate”, “lead” or “instruct” and they instantly assume sexist or misogynistic values. The truth is you don’t have to be sexist to be above a woman. I’m sure most of you have jobs, if you have a job chances are you have a boss. Now is your boss better then you? Does your boss have more rights then you as a human being? Should your boss be allowed to vote while you shouldn’t? Of course not, your boss is your equal but he plays a societal role necessary for the efficient operation of the business. Men who believe they have to be sexist to be above a woman are ill informed. She wants you to be above her! In the same way you want your boss to be above you.
No one enjoys having a push over for an employer, nothing gets done! A good boss effectively and efficiently fulfills his role as a manager.
In a relationship YOU are the manager and it’s your responsibility to effectively and efficiently lead the relationship.
Why do you think girls shit test your frame? Why do you think girls banter and tease you? Why do you think traditional cultures always subjugated women? Why do you think the divorce rate has gone up 500% since the civil war?
If any of you have read 60 years of challenge
http://puame.ca/archives.html you’ll know that tension is the key to attraction. Girls are not attracted to comfort; they’re attracted to sexual tension. Comfort leads to the friend’s zone. Sexual tension leads to the bed room. If you want to attract a girl you must break rapport and build sexual tension. There’s a reason makeup sex is the best.
These kinds of tension building behaviours are instinctual leadership tests.
When you get into a relationship you’ll instantly start being shit tested by the girl. Girls will never stop testing you! Why? Because life never stops testing you, the tests get spread out and you’re given a lot more wiggle room but she still wants to see you dominate and control the frame.
If you fall into the bad habit of seeking rapport with everyone (nice guy) your girl will start to push your boundaries. She’ll test your frame and conquer your authority. When women do this they begin to “wear the pants” in the relationship. Her response will be to lose attraction and chances are she’ll start finding other men, with stronger frames, more attractive.
The key here is practice and exposure. When you hide away at home and watch videos all day you avoid social awkwardness and tension. This fear of confrontation crimples men and effectively castrates their masculinity. Expose yourself, go out and meet people and seek out awkward confrontational situations. The more you have to deal with this social pressure the more you’ll become comfortable under it. If you’re comfortable under pressure you’ll become VERY attractive. This is part of why I believe cold approach has an accumulative effect. I don’t think you get better with women as much as you get more comfortable around women. When you approach 4 sets an hour for 4 hours a night you start to become comfortable under intense social pressure. It’s this comfort that makes girls notice you.
Find alpha males, ass holes, bitches and cunts. Hang out with them and learn to be a prick. You’ll get nowhere in life unless you do.
3. Relationship types.
A big part of relationship management is deciding what kind of relationship you actually want to have.
Check out Love Systems Relationship Management DVD:
https://lovesystems.infusionsoft.com/go/rmdvd/puameca/
On either extreme is Fuck Buddies vs Traditional Monogamy. Obviously every relationship works to some extent but if you’re trying to secure a relationship for the long haul there’s a lot you need to consider.
Relationship Types:
• Fuck Buddies and Friends with Benefits is ok but that gets old. We all want to be loved.
• MLTR’s (multiple long term relationships) are better but feelings do get stomped on eventually. Someone will get attached and want more.
• Open Relationships are better still but there’s no question that the idea of your girl fucking other guys can’t sit well for long. Most people know fairly early on that this one is not really preferred.
• Now we could jump straight up to Monogamy but then we’re touching on another extreme. Divorce rates indicate that monogamy is failing.
Many PUA’s (See Black Dragon) are almost at war against monogamy because it causes so many problems! Take into consideration that if you’re under 25 and you live in an urban center your likelihood for divorce is 92%!!!!! Numbers don’t lie.
So where do we go?
• Traditional Plus
Basically the idea is that you have a completely normal relationship but you and your girl enjoy women together as a couple. There’s no sex outside the relationship but sexual intrigue is regularly maintained.
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You might be thinking: “how’s that supposed to work? Won’t she be super jealous? Only if
1. You don’t start the relationship like this right from the get go.
2. She has low self esteem, in which case you probably won’t have a good relationship anyway.
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“What about other guys? Isn’t it unfair that you get to bring in new girls but she can’t have new guys?”
Well that depends. Maybe you will bring in other guys. The truth is though most men aren’t that attractive. If she’s a girl of quality she’ll have probably realized by now that having any guy she wants is not a very tempting offer. Single girls already can have any guy they want. If she’s dating you chances are she’s made her choice to be with you.
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“Wouldn’t that bother her? Isn’t that kind of like cheating?”
Statistics have shown that men and women have very different attitudes towards infidelity. For a man the fear is the act. For the woman the fear is the attachment:
“According to evolutionary psychologist Barry Kuhle's recent study, which was published in Personality and Individual Differences, while men are more likely to interrogate their partners about the sexual nature of an affair, a woman will often ask her partner whether he is in love with the other woman.”
[link]
For a man the sex act is the thing to be feared. It’s an instinctual response that reacts to the prospect of having to raise another man’s off spring. Women react far less to infidelity because they’re not bothered as much by the sex as they are the motive behind it.
In a traditional plus relationship the girl isn’t really worried about the sex. As much as she’s worried about the emotional bonds you might develop. The key is to maintain commitments. Make it clear to your girl that your interests in other women are of a purely SHARED sexual nature. You’re completely happy with her and you’d like share the pleasure of other girls. In the words of Chris Rock “I ain’t goin no where”.
This has to be thoughtfully and affectionately carried out. Her instincts are afraid of being abandoned. The answer is to maintain trust and honesty. Most importantly START your relationship this way. If you’re in a normal relationship and you’d like to give this a go.... You’ve got a long haul.
The real truth is that even monogamous relationships require at least a touch of traditional plus:
Advice From Billydee and RedSeraph On Maintaining an LTR
http://puame.ca/archives.html
[b]"Innocently flirt w/ other cute women. Never cross the line and have lunch alone, etc. But innocently flirting in front of her goes back to the last part of #1 above. It lets your GF know (without you SAYING IT) that you have options, and you can always walk and land something as good or better than her. Again, make sure not to cross the line and cheat on her, etc. But innocently flirting re-inforces point #1 and lets your girlfriend know that at a moment's notice, you would have no problem re-stocking The Hopper (see: Hopper Method)with new women to replace her."[/b]
4. Recovery
Now I`m sure all of you have at the very least been witness to the atrocity of an emasculated male. There`s nothing sadder then walking through the mall to hear a woman yell “come on! Hurry up!” and there behind her is a man holding his balls in a little Styrofoam cup that says “I obey...”
We’ve all seen it but how does it happen? Women usually secure a man like this in their late 30’s. By 30 her replication value is diminishing and she realizes her chances of securing a legitimate Alpha male are reduced.
(hence why the women in romantic comedies are always 27 or older.)
In response she’ll grab onto a beta male “nest provider” and use him as a source of income. It's the difference between a bull and an ox. Don't become an Ox!
See: “Is Monogamy Natural”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEdHz0eIpm4
This beta male is her bitch, he listens and he obeys.
Other times men will “fall” into this position. The shift happens when you stop seeing her as qualified because of what she does and instead you see her as qualified based entirely on who she is.
THIS IS KEY. Write this down and seal it to your forehead. NO woman is ever WORHTY of you based solely on WHO she is. Is an employee entitled to a job just because of who they are? No the employee is entitled for the job because of what they do. That’s the difference. Your girl is your girl because she treats you well. If she stops treating you well you’ll find someone who will.
It’s a very subtle difference but it has an immense influence on the social dynamics of the relationship. Slowly she’ll pickup on the fact that you’ve idealized her and this begins the process of frame conquest. She’ll tell you what to do, what to think, what to say. She’ll demand you compliment her on her new outfit. She’ll demand that you treat her fairly. She’ll demand, demand, and demand. Does an employee demand? Yea if the manager is a bitch. And guess what, if a manager allows his employees to demand, demand, demand what happens? He gets replaced. In the same way you’ll be replaced. Notice that as you allow her to demand and take control she’ll start IOI’ing other males the worst part of this is that she’ll IOI other males for things YOU ALREADY DO!
Her: “chuckle chuckle.”
Me: “why do you laugh when Jay says something cocky but you call me an asshole when I say the same thing?”
Her: “I donno he just says it better I guess.”
He just says it better..... Really.
No the real answer is that Jay wasn’t her puppy dog. If she told Jay to fuck off he’d just fuck off. If she told me to fuck off I’d stand there and try to “work things out”.
Now you might be reading this thinking “fuck that’s happening to me right now!”
DON’T FREAK OUT. I’ve already went through 4 months of hell solving this and I can solve it for you in one sentence.
If you want the power back, simply take it.
• You might be inclined (especially if you’re a PUA) to think “hm I know what I’ll do I’ll AMOG the other males.”
This sounds like it should work but trust me it doesn’t.
You just end up looking like an ass in her eyes. Other NEW girls might find this kind of behaviour attractive but she’ll see it as kind of pathetic. All you’re doing is fixing a symptom while leaving the disease unaffected.
• Another idea might be: “hm I’ll jealousy plot line it! Demonstrate I can still attract other girls, thus showing none neediness, displaying high value and thus regain her respect!”
Once again FAIL. If you've built a healthy relationship (see section 2 above.) you shouldn't have to do this! If you push this she’ll probably just breakup with you and find a beta male to cuddle with in an attempt to avoid you. Now you might think “ah that guys a loser she’ll come around!” that’ll work till you lay alone in bed and start picturing her giving him a blow job. NEVER USE JEALOUSY PLOT LINES ON YOU’RE GIRLFRIEND.
You will fucking pay for it.
(See evidence cited above.) Girls react far less to infidelity. For her if you fuck another girl it hurts yea. For you it’ll feel like a truck driver just drove over your mom, spit on your dog and butt fucked your grandma. GOOD LUCK.
• Another “solution” you might think of is “hm I’ll make more money! She’ll see my higher wealth and then I’ll have the power back.”
I’m sure by now you see a pattern. NONE of this works.
So what is the solution? Just take it. You don’t need other girls, you don’t need money, YOU don’t need shit. Remember she’s already your girlfriend. You simply have to start saying no. The first few times you do this she won’t react well.
She’ll yell, scream, kick you out of the bed, threaten to take your Christmas presents back (no joke that really happened haha), just hold your ground and shut the fuck up. Don’t bend. Of course this won’t happen overnight. If she’s already taken a lot of control you’ll have a hard haul ahead of you in trying to secure it back. Unfortunately there are NO short cuts.
5. Sex
If you can’t make her cum she’ll become sexually repressed and cheat on you.... period.
see: "she comes first" by Ian Kerner
also see: Stacking Orgasms by AlphaX
http://puame.ca/archives.html
6. Money
Even though money is not an essential it’s still pretty important. I think it was David DeAngelo that said women are repelled by three things:
-boredom
-awkwardness
-neediness
Having money keeps you and her entertained and helps as a consistent DHV. Women ARE impressed by money, they can’t help it anymore then you can help being impressed by big tits. You can cry about this or just go get some cash. You’re call.
7. I really hope this helps you boys out. I went through hell to gain this knowledge and now I give it to you. Just call me Prometheus I guess lol. If you have any questions you can contact me on my personal website forum PUA Me.ca
Here's the link:
http://puame.ca
This Ones On The House Boyz.
-Whiskey Shooter.
CHAT
