So I've been getting better and better results using OkCupid but my response rate on POF is literally 0 total and I have absolutely no idea why when I'm doing the exact same thing.

I send a message that's usually 3-4 sentences long and either comments on her interests or teases her about something in her profile.

My profile on POF is almost identical to my OkCupid profile but I cut it down to half the size. I talk about what I want in the person I want to meet with a joke thrown in, list some interests (music, books, movies) and why they should message me with anther joke thrown in.

On OkCupid I get about 30-40% response rate for my first message and then usually don't have a hard time conversing after that. I'm wondering if its the message length causing them to get filtered out or maybe its my headline. I've read that having a good headline is important and mine is actually pretty weak.

I also usually message girls who are online now, my age or younger and haven't been using the site forever. It seems to get me the best results on OkCupid.

Any suggestions? I really didn't expect this to happen when I created a POF account.

I've experienced similar issues. On cupid, I get way better results. More responses, more phone numbers, and more dates.

Can you give us an idea of what your emails look like?

I will say this: POF women are, in my experience the least likely to be seriously looking to meet people.

My emails are fine.

Ok. Here are some successful ones (First messages).

Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia was in her profile. She said in her profile that she wasn't a scary dragon. This actually turned into an epic conversation. Girl who liked the movie Oldboy. On a blank profile. I usually transition to something else in 1 or 2 messages. Takes like 2 mins a message so if I send 20, I get 6-8 back and maybe 3 to 5 actual conversations started.

I think you're definitely on the right path. I'm guessing that you're fairly new at online game though?

I do think there's room for improvement, but I'm not convinced that your emails are the issue.


If you've sent, lets say, less than 50 emails out total, I'm willing to chalk it up to it being a statistical anomaly which will correct itself over time. Your response rate should be slightly lower on POF; but not by 30-40%.

If you have sent more than 50, then I would guess it has to do with what is in your POF profile that you've excluded from the OKC one or visa versa (I'm not quite clear which one is shorter). You're either including something in the POF profile that is weird, offputting or creepy; or excluding something that makes you seem fun, exciting and interesting.

As an experiment, try to align your OKC and POF accounts and see if it makes a difference.

You may find my guide helpful here:
jpows-holistic-online-dating-guide-feed ... 28120.html

Thanks. I'll update my profile more today.

I tried this about a year ago and then gave up (terrible results but it was all my doing looking back). Now I've been at this 3 months. First message I just get their attention, then I use humour/teasing/anecdotes next and then get sexual (eg accusing them of trying to seduce me).

Honestly I tried getting dates/numbers/msn in 5 messages or less but it's hard and the learning curve is steeper compared to having longer conversations and testing new things. Right now I'm occasionally trying random things like trying to get her to ask me out or things I don't think will work. Got a date this Tuesday by doing something I was sure wouldn't work actually lol.

Anyway I'll also try changing things up message wise a few times and see what results I get on both sites. I do see some good points there like being quirky but not a goof as well as getting a number on the 3rd message. I could do a lot of what I'm doing by text or in person anyway. If I can get that far in 3 messages.

I have really good online game, and I tried out OkCupid just for fun.

I got alot of good responses from people who normally never repsond, but some girls are looking for a very specific man (because your looks, and qualities, are right in front of them), so some nautually will just be harder to seduce

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