Hello All,

This is Kev. I'm 20 years old from Toronto, Canada. I'm east Indian. I've known Pick Up for quite a while, but I didn't apply. I used to have Approach Anxiety to go up to random people and start talking. Although my AA is low right now, there are other aspects of social interaction that I need to learn. I've never had a Girlfriend. I did have my first crush when I was in grade 10 and it lasted for a year or so. We were not in the same grade, so never had a chance to talk to her and I have never known her. I had sent her facebook message once, but I might have turned out a creep. When I look back, I realize there were subtle clues from so many girls that they liked me. This crush would randomly pass by in hallway touching me, but I was such a noob to not notice that. I even had a girl ask me if I liked her. I was dreaming about my crush and didn't follow up with her. She was cute though.

So a couple years later in my freshman, I meet a friend who shared David D. Angelo with me. I read the book and had a new insight on dating, but I didn't start approaching until mid last year. I haven't k/f closed yet. I'm starting this journal to track my progress and to received advice from you MPUA. My goals are to focus primarily on study and then pick up. I would like to have girlfriend but studies are just as important. I study engineering and if I don't follow up with the course material, I might do myself more harm than good in the long run in terms of school. I see opportunists to talk to girls on the campus and I'd like to seize it.

Let's begin...

Encounter: 1

I was sitting on the couch (studying) and writing a post here. Just as I was done, this HB 7.4 passes by.
Me: You're walking very fast. (She is clearly walking very slow. Slower than normal speed).
Her: Yeah, I'm bored in the classroom and I'm sick.
Me: What class is that?
Her: Placement and CO-OP. It's boring.
Me: No, it's not (with a grin. Don't think I delivered it right.)
Her: (walks away)
Me: What's ur major?
Her: (says something and walks away)
She is leaving. I see no IOI.
(A min later, I get up and start packing for my next class. )
On my way I see her again:
Me: You made this far.
Her: Yeah.
Me: What's ur name?
Her: (her name) and asks my name.
(I told her my name. I go blank. Sort of like trying to shuffle for conversation).
Her: Anyway I should go back.
Me: Enjoy your day.

Plus:
> Approached a stranger and talked a bit.

Improvement:
> I feel as sometimes I am not natural. I am not very talkative person, but I do enjoy talking.
I used to be quick witted person, and I want to let it out and improve.

Your thoughts?

Day 2: Over Analyzing and Holding back..

Hi guys,
Today was very busy day. I was on campus from 9 AM to 10 PM. I had classes and tutorials. I didn't approach any woman at all. I just said Hey to a girl who was clearly looking at me. She was with a friend and I think disappointment (from past encounters) held me back today.
I think I worried about whether I'd be funny and interesting. Set 2: I found this girl staring at me several times. She was with a boyfriend, but I could tell from her eyes she was curious about me. Tomorrow, I will be back to normal and have challenge for myself.

Challenge:
Talk to any random cute girl for 10 minutes or more. I am not going to worry about whether I screw it.

Day 3: Meet up with a MILF
I have been texting back and forth with a milf (HB 7.4) from POF. Due to our schedule, we didn't get to see each other. We had made a plan earlier in the month, but something came up and couldn't meet. We finally met today. It wasn't a date. She denied it from the beginning, and so did I. I think her curiosity/desire heated up when I talked about doing her. But she kept saying we are meeting up for coffee and I pretended the same. I have fantasy for milfs. LOL Anyway, We met up had a coffee in the parking lot. She bought me a coffee. I did offer to pay though. I just talked to her about random things. I think no canned material. At one point., I said let me read your palm and she said, "it's fine." Then she got a call from someone and I left it. I did touch her shoulder now and then in the conversation. Let me just say, she destroyed my game. I got her comfortable enough to hold eye contact with me and it was fun. She was playing with her hair throughout our meet up, but wouldn't respond to my game positively at times. Long story short, when she was dropping me closer to my school, I said I'm going to kiss you and I leaned in..to grab her. I just wanted to push myself and I did. She turned her head away. BOMBed Me! LOL She was a upset and said something about kissing only when dating. I had similar experience on my last date. I used Mystery's kiss close method but she too had said same thing. So, yeah, I got rejected(?) Do you think I have any chance with her? Should I follow up at all?

Funny Story: I bought a combination locker today to leave my backpack while I was out. As I was in hurry, I didn't realize which locker was mine. Apparently, bookstore sells only one type of locker, so I had a girl help with unlocking. She was very friendly and we were in good energy. But I didn't make her my target as it seemed she was hanging out with a guy.

Set 2 (earlier in the day)
I stopped by at table in the cafeteria. They looked twin sisters to me (both HB 7.9)
Me: Aren't you two twin sisters?
Her: us?
(a moment later)
Her: (giggles) No, we are not.
Me: You look like twin sisters to me.
(eject)

Plus:
I wanted to pushed myself. I didn't worry about the outcome. Although it wasn't what I had hoped, I'm going to let go of it.

Improvement:
I am lost. I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Day 4: Hang out with Friends..

Last Friday I hung out with friends I made at during summer. We are ball lovers. Volleyball . I had lots of fun. Unfortunately I wasn't picking up, but I was being flirty. I had met HB 7.5 at the court and I felt attraction at first sight. I'm sure she felt the same, but I didn't know how to play and because she was quite older (~25) than me I didn't bother. She is out vacationing somewhere, but would have had fun if she came. Lost connection is all I wanted to say.

Today
I was in a study room. They are reserved for group discussion or projects but if they're empty anyone can use. This girl whom I had seen eying me last year knocked on a door and lets me know it's is booked. I talked to her a little bit, but I regret not staying in the room until it was their time. We could have talked.
I know I'm slow, but I know I will get there.
For tomorrow, I want to open four girls and talk to one of them for at least 10 minutes.

It's been two weeks since my last post. I have been real busy guys.
I number closed two girls last week. I have noticed if I don't keep approaching, my AA ruins me.
I used situational opener with this HB 6.5. I said doing your make up eh and went from there. LOL I just wanted to talk up to some girl and hold conversation, which I did. I talked to her for some 7-8 minutes. I found we have a lot in common. And I felt she was expecting me to take her number.
Me: Let me take your number. (something along this).
Her: There you go.
She wanted to continue conversation, but I had to run to the class. I texted and called her as well in a day or two. We talked for a few mintues. I have offered her for coffee, but we haven't been able to see each other. Here's the catch. She has a boyfriend and she has a kid. (She is 19 btw). She still talks to me, but also plays hard to get.

There was this other HB 7.5 who was eying me a lot. I decided to go for it. I wasn't at very best during conversation. I fumble for words or get totally blank sometimes How should I improve here? I feel, hotter the women, more chances to scare the shit out of me. Anyway, I messaged something funny right as I left and she didn't respond to my text. I also did story opener again after few days, but no response either. I think I will just call her soon.

Remember the piercing chick? I called her last week. And she seemed happy to talk to me. She still doesn't get back to messages. Btw, she asked me to call a little bit later, but I didn't. (Why oh Why? LOL). I am calling her soon as well. Will see what happens. Will improve my phone skills.

As I mentioned earlier, I am fairly busy but I am practicing this on every opportunity. Some women let me down sometimes. I get demotivated. And I honestly want change from within., not just read some script and try to be funny. I enjoy being friendly, funny and social person. But I value silence very much (time with my self). This journal may not be updated daily, but I am here.

UPDATE: Looks like HB 7.5 gamed me. It's a wrong number.

UPDATE 2: I was walking around and I saw the girl I opened a month or two ago. I was rejected by her. I just gave her a quick wave and a nod. (as I knew she'd glance at me). She put a faint smile on her face. I feel sorry for her. I called other girls, but went in voicemail. They do not initiate text, or call. I don't have mid game to hold attraction. I feel as such (at this point).
More approaches to come.

Flyin High, you're an inspiration!

I try daygaming all the time, but it's just too hard with all those people around. It looks like you just don't give a crap and I admire that.

What I do see is that your conversational skills have improved a lot, from you going blank to getting numbers in only a few weeks!

And when you see a 'ex-target' that is still eyeing you, you should definitely re-open.

Your blank-going with 'hot' girls: Don't you ever look at some retarded nerds that walk hand in hand with the hottest girl on the block?
That 'nerd' or actually pimp knows that beauty is nothing, she just has to be nice and fun.

Keep posting, approaching, and approaching! Good luck!

Hey bro..important fact I'm going to tell you and don't panick. AA will never go away. I read that you said the leass you approach, the more AA you have. It's normal..don't try to remove AA...learn to deal it with it. Approach Anxiety is what is called State Friction. They ruin your state and make you fuck up. Concentrating on state frictions only make them worse. You must concentrate on how you can solve the problem. The only way is to approach indiferently of your anxiety. By not removing AA and just approaching even when it's there...you allow your mind to focus on your interaction and you'll see anxiety as excitement. Just act upon it stop trying to remove state frictions. Go out there and practice great job so far!

_________________
Greatness is never borned

GWhizz, thank you for your kind words. I've stopped worrying about how my interaction may go. It does help a bit to keep pressure off. I'm do meditation regularly and I notice the difference. I will definitely talk to her next time I see her. I was little hesitant to approach her last time because she was with another girl. On the follow up with piercing chick, she hung up on me. I have a feeling she was with her boyfriend. Anyway, right now I'm not going to spend too much time after girls with bfs.
Valentyn? I see what you did there. HA!
I think you maybe right, probably just deal with the anxiety as it arises.

I want to talk about what is going in my mind recently. Many of you might know Indian philosopher, Jiddu Krishnamurthi, from Zeitgeist documentary. I recently got my hands on his book "Freedom from the Known." This is life changing read, but my mind is opposing the change. It is doing everything it can to not break the old patterns, old tradition and how we normally live - in fear. I've been little bit shaken, it sometimes becomes hard to focus as my mind tries to tell me, I'm this/that, things I might have done wrong/right - meaning identifying myself from situations/encounters with people. I maybe little off topic, but this is important to me and for those who are looking for something beyond happiness through relationships. Second, I have committed to stop watching porn.. It's been two weeks so far. yourbrainonporn.com.
Right now, I have a reading break and have mid terms the next week, but it will not prevent me from gaming.

I understand 100% how you feel and in what situation you're in. Only experience is the key to understanding what I'm telling you. I couldn't understand it either when I started out. Knowing these kind of things help you out just a little bit..because even if you know fear doesnt exist..you still have it. Therefore, experience is the only way of teaching you that it does not exist. The more you practice..you'll start to see things really fucking different. You'll see social interactions as never before..it's mindblowing but it takes dedication, persistance and an attractive lifestyle!

_________________
Greatness is never borned

You're right Valentyn. I agree with you it takes dedication, and persistence to achieve something. Honestly, I don't have attractive lifestyle. I may be seen as regular person, but I am dynamic and unpredictable.

Day 5: Still Stumbling

Today, I interacted with two HB 7.5s.
I was walking into commons. Out of no where I notice two HB 7.5s on my way.
She asks her friend if she is going(to an event) and I hear it. I am very close to them as I am walking into commons and they are holding door for me. I jumped in their conversation and lightly said "yes, I'm going." Both of them turn to me and starts asking was that you, you? We conversed a little bit and I parted. I went on to finish my work.
I spotted them again as I was leaving. I said, "heck, why not!" HA! I had no conversation starter in mind. I used a very common approach.
(the other HB is gone somewhere, the entire time)
Me: Hey, do you know how to get printers to work?
HB 7.5: Explains me the system to print.
Me: Let me see if I have printers installed on my laptop.
Her: okay
Me: *I check my laptop for printers and went to actually print*
Me: No success
Her: *tells me about helpdesk*
Me: I'd just print from library.
Me: *I glanced at her screen* You're in the business.
Her: *tells me about her program, year and so on*
Her: What program are you in?
Me: Mech. Engineering
Her: Pretty exciting (or something along this line)
Me: *replied something enthusiastically*
Me: I will see you tomorrow at the event. (with a grin)
Her: HAHA! I can't go I have tests.
Me: Neither can I. I have three tests this week.
Her: *wishes me luck*
Me: Well, I will take your number and we will go out sometime.
Her: Oh No! I have boyfriend.
Me: I grin and say I have a dog.
*We both smile. There wasn't any awkward moment.*
Me: It's cool. I said something I was just being nice.
She just appreciated. And I left.


Negging HB 8
I was taking stairs. HB 8 is in front of me.
She has glued her eyes to the phone screen.
Me: Watch you Step
Her: *Looks back at me* HAAH Yeah
She puts her phone inside and walks like a good girl. LOL She was going the same way I was, but I changed my path (not to be seem as following her). That was it. I had nothing to say.

My Thoughts:
The first interactions was totally noob like, not knowing what to say or not being in the right energy, hurts me. I was totally AFC when I asked her for printing help. Plus, I don't think it's a good idea to number close every girl I see. I have no routine as you can see. And I strongly need to focus on conversation, not whether I get her number at the end.

HAHA, i love it that you really make names for the days, as if you're writing a book.

And dude you are doing great!

What you might improve, is making them qualify. A simple way to see if, if they even want to qualify, they are attracted to you.

And about the boyfriend... IT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT XD. (yesterday a girl with a bf was ALL OVER me while I was thinking; Wtf? While you're saying you got a boyfriend, you're pushing your tits against me. So it's very girl-dependant)
In the future, just say something else, like;
ahh boyfriends... a colleague of mine had a boyfriend who always wanted to know what she and I did when we were hanging out after work... And I didn't even fuck her, we were just drinking... You know, I'm 20 now and time really flies. I just want to enjoy life, get new experiences, just doing what you want! Some people get married when they're 20, and I really think that's waste! 'You only live once, so live life to the fullest'

Here you show her that you have female friends, want to enjoy life, know what you want and how to say it, etc.

Of course, the smart girls will see through you, but if you deliver it confident and with good eye contact, her emotions will take control thus YOU ARE IN CONTROL muhuahahaha.

I love life.

February 29- 12

Day 6: One Step at a Time


I approached a 3 set today. I forgot my laptop charger at home, turned out to be a good thing. HA! I needed to print a lab report and had to use library computers. I set beside one of the cute HBs. The computer I was on had no printer installed. I asked those girls if they knew. The HB8 sitting beside me shows me the way to print. Since mine had no printers installed, I asked if I can print from her PC. (the HB 8 beside me is closing windows/programs at snail's pace). So I went up to HB 6 and printed from her PC. I come back and asked them what they were working on.
Me: What are you working on?
HB 8A: assignment on law
HB 8I: Presentation
HB 6: Project
HB 8A: HAHA well, Project for Law.
(I asked them their major and I made them guess mine. HAH!)
(I noticed newspaper on HB 8I's desk)
Me to HB 8I: You look like you don't read newspaper.
HB 8I: (smiles) No, I like to read newspaper. I read blah blah section
Me: Maybe you just look at pictures (sort of teasing)
HB 6: It was snowing, so it's our umbrella.
(at some point I stopped talking.)
(few minutes later)
Me to HB 8A: Hey, do you know there is an event tonight. Arabian nights!
Me: I'm not sure what it is about.
HB 8A: I haven't been to it either.
Me: I haven't been on any event on campus.
HB 8A: You should go. You should go. (with an emphasis).
(then)
Me to HB 8I: You look like Arabian, aren’t you?
HB 8I: HAHA! I'm not. Tells me of her background. (Indian and Polish)
Me: Hmm, I am not quite good at guessing backgrounds.
HB 8I to Me: Aren't you Spanish?
Me: Nope, guess?
HB 6: Mexican? Indian?
Me: I'm Indian I've had people tell me they thought I was Spanish/Mexican.
(side note: A woman came up to me on train platform and started talking in a language I didn't understand. Funny! she looked like latin/spanish.
Me to HB 8A: Aren't you african-american?
HB 8A: No, I'm white.
(I pretended I didn't believe her)
HB 6 to me: Guess my background?
Me: Black?
(the other two HBs laughed. Her great great grandpa migrated from India).
(Again, at some point. I stopped and went back to my work).
(few mins later)
Me: Hey, it was nice talking to you all.
HBs: Nice meeting you (something along this)
HB 8I: Take Care
HB 6: Asks my name. And they tell me their names.
HB 8I: He's not going to remember. (smiles)
Me: Yeah Probably not.
Me to all three: Well, I will take your number and we will maybe go to an event. (screwed up, here?)
HB 6: Take hers. Take hers (HB 8I).
Me: I start typing her name. (HB 8A looks back and forth. I can see she is mostly wondering whether I remember her name.)
HB 8I: I don't give out numbers.
(All HBs start telling me they have BFs. And I am like Good Good! They smile a little).
Me to HBs: I wasn't going to take you all to the restaurant.
HBs: (laughs)
HB 8A to me: HB6 is always here. She will be here tomorrow.
Me: (I give a nod)
HBs: We will see you around.
Me: Bye

Guys, I'm just experimenting with journal outline. Please feel free to leave suggestion(s). I'm looking to hear your thoughts on this encounter.

Regarding the ex-target (Pink-Shirt), I saw her again last Thursday. She might have noticed me from afar, but when I got closer she was staring at the blank. I think she wanted to see if I would open. I caught her attention and we talked a little bit (~ 2-4 mins). She asked me about the break, which was unusual seeing we haven't talked for that long. This is something I'd usually ask my close friends/or someone I see often. She was continuing conversation (asking question, etc.). She was waiting for her friend outside the washroom, and we parted when her friend showed up. There was no good bye or see you. I'd really like to take her out.

I was rather low on Friday. My mid-term test didn't go as good as I hoped. I don't want to be the average kid. I have to mention this. Big thanks to Hobbit for sharing this website studyhacks. Read his reply in Daniel's Journal. And Big thanks to you Daniel, just reading a page or two of your journal makes me want to go out and sarge. We have a cutest HB in our group at school. Two of my friends are natural at kinoing. One is dominant and I liked when something came up and he asked her if she could set him up with her. They both play with her and mess with her. Since both of them are really good players, I felt little bit inferior and the test I wrote earlier got better of me. To keep this short, She knows I'm a leader (of our group/projects). Besides, I don't want to game her. She is engaged. But hey, I could build my social circle. She has plenty of female friends. HA!

I need a haircut. I'm going to a mall tomorrow.
Goal: Approach 10 women

Goals:
1) Manage Time Wisely. No time wasting on internet. I suck at time management.
Plan: I have blocked some sites on computer. I use TimeSnapper software to see how I spend my time while I'm on computer. It becomes to easy to wander off on internet when all your is dependent on computer.

2) Make more females friends. Get a girl. Get Laid.
Plan: Other than approaching, I have no clue how I can accomplish this.

3) Study Daily: One of my professors showed us how students remember the most when they study the material the same day it is taught. I haven't been completely following it. it.
Plan: Study daily and Study smart. Period. Use more of ScotHYoung's method on studying. I like how he studies actually. It is beyond rote memorizing. Thanks!

4) Build Social Circle: Meet more people. Make more friends.
I have been wanting to join this motorsports club at my uni. I've never sent email to request if I can still join. There may not be as many women there.
Plan: Send email Now, as soon as I'm done typing this.

5) Exercise
Plan: Go to Gym at least once a week. I don't understand why I'm fucking scared I will be tired. This is the main reason I m avoiding it. I'm going to gym every Thursday or Wednesday from now on. No excuse.