Met this cute girl on POF 6 weeks ago, we've been dating and hanging out. She's conservative and pretty religious (same religion I am) so it took a while but we recently started kissing and making out 2 nights ago then she left to go to a party. She texts me everday and we flirt a lot over text. She texted me at the party about how she smells like me (after making out) and loves it but then the texts stopped.

I recently saw her last night and she looked a little troubled and she opened up to me about how she felt. She said she got a text from this guy she was talking to months ago while at the party and it brought up old feelings ect but continued to say that she could never date him and he's ugly but really funny and stuff ect. She thinks I'm really hot and her friend called me Tom Brady ect.

The kicker is she proceeded to say she's just not sure of her feelings and she likes me but not completely sure 100%. She says she feels forced to like me since we met on a dating website and she wishes we had mutual friends. She then said she doesn't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend yet ect.. I told her I felt the same and asked her what kinda guys she's into (bad boys). She's called me an ass over texts many times though and I've used lots of text game. We cooked dinner and then she hugged me for 5 minutes, made out and then I left. Haven't heard from her since.

But here's the thing, naturally I'm more quiet and reserved and in person she seems to try and find stuff to talk about and we talk a lot easily but I guess I just need to tease her more. Her roommates

thought I was too serious too. I'm pretty confident and have a deep voice. I can be the strong confident silent type alpha naturally (think Rocky) but I can't help who I am. Maybe I came across as too cocky of texts I couldn't play it off in person

How can I recover this? I've played physical game on her and kissed closed but I guess she hasn't seen my cocky side if I even have one. She hasn't been texting me as of lately.

What should I do if she LJBF me this week because of her unsure feelings?

Almost the same situation just happened to me recently dude. what i did and i think it worked pretty well was i acted like a politician. i kept everything really neutral asked questions that make her justify herself to you like "how will that make you feel?" "is that what makes you happier?" "do you think its better this way" "how long have you felt this way" MAKE SURE TO ACT CURIOUS NOT PISSED and keep her talking the key is if you want to get her back dont necessarily agree with her but dont disagree. if she gives you ljbf speech just ask questions and then at the end say if that makes you feel better then thats what well do give her a peck on the cheek and walk away. next step is to freeze her out dont call text or message her then when she calls you and she will if shes worth it then game her all over again

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"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have fu***d with? That’s me." — Clint Eastwood

Thanks Rockstar815, as of now she hasn't even texted me back which is unusual because she's always texted me at least once during the day for the past 6 weeks. I know I'm being an AFC with oneitis by noticing but I can't help it. I really liked her. I invested a lot of time with her. She emphasized to me that it's not like there's nothing there at all and she likes me too but she's not entirely sure either

I just don't understand how she could go from being all over me 2 nights ago and feeling great to not knowing if she's even attracted/interested in such a short time. I think that random dude texting her is messing with her because as soon as he started texting her she stopped texting me. She was honest enough to mention him to me and that she's confused and everything which is what I like with her.

When she confessed all that to me I just got her up and kissed her passionately and said "It's ok, no big deal it's not like you kissed him". I hope that was the right reaction. She then let me read his texts (I didn't ask and I told her she didn't have to) She said she wouldn't text him first but might if he texts her back. So I think that's whats happening.

Luckily when she was explaining all of this, I was pretty non-emotional and just asked how she felt about the whole thing and when she mentioned she wish she met me through mutual friends and not online I told her "that didn't happen and I can't change time and we can only deal with the here and now".

I also told her I like her...so far but I'm not sure about her too and that I'm also new at all of this ect. I also said "I don't mind going slower and if she wants to be friends for now that's fine" but as I said that I pushed her off of me (she was cuddling) and said "but friends don't do this stuff". So I hoped I didn't totally AFC that.

I left her place on a neutral note I felt. We kissed and she hugged me for 5 minutes because and I made her laugh a few times and that was that. I don't know.

My gut is that I'll hear from her but my plan right now is to not text her at all until she texts me and when she does wait maybe 12-24 hours to get back to her. I told her I'd be busy this week anyway.

I was the last one to get in touch with her and initiate things, I don't want to do it again. I figure if I don't hear from her first then move on?

Hey chaman0426,

Sorry for the unfortunate news bro, but this girl is pretty useless in my opinion. She is absolutely not for you in any way. I read both your posts, and in both of them all that seems apparent is her putting you a second option and you feeling ok with that.

"She then let me read his texts (I didn't ask and I told her she didn't have to) She said she wouldn't text him first but might if he texts her back. So I think that's whats happening. "
"We cooked dinner and then she hugged me for 5 minutes, made out and then I left. Haven't heard from her since. "
"We kissed and she hugged me for 5 minutes"
This is AFC shit x 9000.
And this..."She emphasized to me that it's not like there's nothing there at all and she likes me too but she's not entirely sure either" ...She is GAMING YOU BRO, this is classic " I dont know if I like you bullshit," this is not empathy.



As a fellow player and brother in arms, I wouldn't allow this type of crap to happen to a brother/good friend of mine, and I am talking to you in the same manner I would talk to a brother/good friend of mine.

So read this carefully...
Don't EVER allow yourself to be put as a second option and think everything is going to be ok. You will be walked on over and over again.

I don't want to tell you because I might hurt your feelings, but if you understood what this girl is probably saying behind your back, you would honestly lose a little faith in humanity(particularly the women). I wouldn't be surprised she mentions you to the guy she is sucking off.
I know this b/c I have women tell me about guys like you when they suck me off.
sorry man but its the truth.

This is one of those things your going to have to trust me on, cut this girl off, and don't think twice about the situation. This is just one of those useless girls you don't need right now. You take her LJBF feelings and shove up it her ass, where it belongs.

Nothing is worse than a girl who hasn't got her shit together. But what's worse is a guy who follows a girl who hasn't got her shit together.

Hopes this helps,

Samex

Thanks Samex. It would be hard to think a relatively prudish virgin would be up to such an agenda. Why would she even mention him otherwise? She could have easily kept it secret. Then again she did make out with me pretty quickly. Who knows. I agree with you about cutting her off for now. I haven't texted her (why should I, I last texted her before I met with her it's her turn).

My only question is what do I do when she texts me "hey how is your day" or something similar? I think the odds are somewhat high she will try and get back in touch either over the phone or on facebook. How do I handle it when she does?

I agree with samex here for the most part dude. it can be really hard to let certain girls go sometimes. but the best option in most situations is to do just that. im going through almost the exact same thing you are right now haha so i know how you feel i have a pretty rough case of oneitis right now but i ended up letting her go and i still think about her everyday even when im gettin with other girls but i know it was the right choice. but if shes gonna treat you like this then screw her. theres plenty of other girls in this world even though it will be real tough at first youll get over it. just start gaming new girls right away that way it wont help you really get over your girl but it will at least boost your ego a bit. you dont deserve to be put through the continuous emotional beatings that it sounds like this girls putting you through.

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"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have fu***d with? That’s me." — Clint Eastwood

So if she get's in touch with me do I just ignore her?

Yeah, it's not so much the rejection it's just a rough time in my life right now. All of my friends graduated and moved on (I will be this Spring) and I don't really have a group of friends to party with to help take my mind off things. It was not just losing her but also her set of friends and her parties ect. Girls like her only seem to come around every couple of months or so. I know that sounds terrible but everyone hit's these lows.

I could hit the bar by myself and practice game but that's kind of intimidating and sketch. Pretty much I've just been hitting the gym apart from my studies to take up time.
I just need to feel alpha and I really don't right now because my life is at a very boring point. I just have a few months to go I guess.

Yea i feel you. dont change your party friends and the people you hangout with just because of her though thats extremely controlling just dont acknowledge her at the parties and have fun. go on with your regular life or acknowledge her and just act like you dont care. make sure you just go to parties to have fun not to see her or anything like that. dont let her control your life dont let any girl control your life. just ride the down parts in life through and make the best of things it will get better. find a hobby too, the gyms good so stick with that and try something new as well.

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"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have fu***d with? That’s me." — Clint Eastwood

I wouldn't ignore her. That would give off the impression that you're bitter about the situation. If she does contact you, I would remain polite, a little distant, and a bit aloof to get her to chase you. The more she chases you, you can decide to increase the amount of attention you give to her.

If you're worried about being alone, I would suggest embracing that time to work on yourself. Pick up a few hobbies so you have interesting topics to talk about and develop the most important person in your life... you.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

True but I just feel angry and pissed off for being treated like shit. I suggested for the two of us to go out and do something fun while I was at her place but she wanted me to help her with homework for half an hour, then we just cuddled and talked until she confessed all that shit to me. . I can't believe I was such an AFC. Never again. I still don't know how to handle this as a PUA if she does get back in touch, ignore her completely or just be distant with her?

Hey Vietman100,

Unfortunately right now ignoring her is the best option, because it doesn't allow her to know what's going on and doesn't give her the satisfaction of satisfying her curiosity. While we(pua forums) know exactly why chazman is ignoring her, girls don't think this logical or rationally about situations. She is going to start questioning herself in this process and will probably end up viewing herself as the problem.(this depends how much inner game she has)

HOWEVER, if chazman decides to make contact, and allows any of these feelings to be displayed , and trust me these feelings will be displayed, than she will know she was successful with him and move on.

Samex

Yeah, so far I haven't heard anything. This is the longest I've ever gone not hearing from her since I've known her. We use to text like crazy like almost 100/day and she would get mad when I took hours to respond sometimes. The last time she texted me was Saturday night when she said she smelled like me and she likes it ect. Then right after that it's like she flipped a switch and just went totally cold.

I assume she is just talking to another guy she just met or something. Whatever.

Still haven't heard anything, I'm starting to think if I should just send a text in a day or two saying "I'm going on an adventure, you should join" and leave it at that. Part of this has to do with me being too AFC for a week when I though things were going good. I over complemented her, and agreed with what she wanted to do (which was nothing but sit and talk) when we hung out.

I don't know, part of me just wants to drop it and move on even though I have no other options unfortunately. I really wish I had options.


Nvm...I'm trying my best to resist the urge to send a text. I'm sticking to my plan of zero contact until she gets in contact.

Bro, please don't contact this chick man. I am telling you. I am going through the same shit. This chick is a flake, she texts me all the time but won't come out to chill. I bet you if she is fucking some guy right now she is probably telling him how I text her and ask her to come chill and that she texts me back bcuz she is being polite but that she always comes up with an excuse not to chill blah blah...
Don't call her player... It's easier to start something new than to fix something that is broken.
humble advice as if you were my bro

Yeah it's just tough to go from texting and flirting constantly almost every night for 6 weeks to not hearing from her at all for half a week. It use to be if I didn't text her within 24 hours she'd get in touch asking about my day and stuff. All this is so hard because I made out with her and stuff just last Friday and everything was at such a high point until Saturday when she came out with all this shit. Friday night, I literally thought she'd be my gf because she kissed me and hugged me goodbye and said she'd miss me and doesn't want me to leave and all that. This is the biggest flip of a switch in attraction I've ever seen on a girl, usually things gradually taper away. Not this one. Literally in the span of a few hours she just stopped texting and that was that.

I guess that's why it's harder than usual for me to fathom this and move on. And I have a lack of options. At least I'll be moving in a few months and starting a career. I guess I have that to look forward to.