BACKGROUND
To start off, my girlfriend is super sexy, confident, all of that. We've been together for about 6 months. Just recently she's been going through a lot of stress and work and has been pretty distant. We've talked some about our relationship growing somewhat stale because of our conflicting schedules and inability to get together to do fun and exciting things

MY STANCE
I really don't want this to end right now and I've told her I'm willing to make changes like trying to get my own work schedule switched around. I've made it clear I want to work things out.

ISSUE I NEED ADVICE ON
Earlier today we hung out, grabbed some coffee and went on a walk. Once back at my house I tried to heat things up and she seemed uninterested. She had to leave for a meeting and I suggested she come back over afterwards. She wouldn't give a straight yes or no answer to this. After her meeting, she sent me this text message...

"Hey i think I'm just gonna head home.. I need some time to myself I feel like I can't give you everything you deserve right now bc I'm just in a weird place in my head and like I have no sex drive. I'm gonna study some more. I'm sorry... there are things I feel like we need to talk about but it's so hard to do when I'm with you bc I don't want to upset you"

THE TEXT I'M DEBATING SENDING BACK
"I don’t’ think you understand that I’ve been trying to tell you I’m willing to talk about whatever and try to work though whatever issues we may be having. In order to do that though, you need to bring these things up when you have the chance. You aren't going to hurt my feelings. Honestly, your text sounds like one big excuse for wanting to break up. If that’s the case, I would really prefer you be upfront and honest about it. I don’t appreciate being dragged along while you make this harder than it has to be, just leaving me to wonder half the time. To be completely honest its just kind of rude. I’d love to get through this and back on track with you but if you don’t feel the same, simply say so. There are plenty of other mermaids in the sea, and if you’re not willing to work with me to get through this rough patch, like a girl worth my time would, I’d like to know so I can get on with my life and finding that mermaid."

Like I said, I'd prefer not to end this, but I know being clingy and over sensitive works against you. I'd really appreciate any feedback you guys might have, whether its towards my attitude or if I should put in or take out things from this text I'm sending or just anything at all. Thanks in advance

First, she's not a HB10. A HB9 tops.

Second, that reply is so fucking long I didn't read past the first sentence. DON'T SEND IT.

I think your best bet is to dump her before she dumps you. Over at http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

It could possibly be trimmed down the the last three paragraphs.

Basically I just want some outside perspective on the text I'm sending back. I'm trying to not come of neither as clingy or as a douche, while still getting my point across strongly

When faced with texts like this I'll usually just say...

"I dont think this is a conversation we should be having over text. You can come around and we can have a chat but if you dont want to then I will need some time to myself to figure stuff out. I'm free at.......a time."

This is vague but it shows that your mature and still in charge of your own emotions. Sounds like she is gearing up for a break or a full break up. And it seems she is close to doing it over text.


If she responds to that saying that she doesn't want to meet but would like a break then freeze her out completely for a while. Don't initiate talking and dont respond to her texts for a few days.

She might of already made up her mind but if she is unsure then all you can do is not cling on and hope she misses you!

Try to have fun during the break

You asked for an outside opinion, I'll give you one. Why are you FUCKING even thinking of sending a text back? It's obvious what she's trying to say, shes in a place in her life where she needs to be alone to figure it out. SHE NEEDS SPACE.

Asking her for validation to try and make yourself feel better about the issue not being you is not the situation. Its the magnet theory my man, the more you try to get her closer to you the most distant she'll be. In a few days/weeks she'll come back to you all refreshed, I'm guessing shes stressed from her exams or whatever she has coming up, that is HER issue, it's something about her, not about you or your relationship. Just give her space my man, she'll be back.

Just talk to her about it in person. I NEVER text anything serious to my woman. Sure, there could be a million reasons why she has lost interest but in my experience most women do not regain interest once they have lost it. Talk to her about it, see what's up, and go from there. Oh and forget the whole "I'm going to switch around my work schedule so we can spend time together." If she wants to spend time with you then she will make time, you shouldn't have to change anything about your job to please her.

I appreciate you guys' replies, they've given me some important things to consider.

I read in some other post about getting attention/interest back from your girl by...
1. Making yourself less available (ignoring calls and texts)
2. Making some serious self improvements while make sure she notices
3. Getting some other girl(s) interested in you (have them posting on your FB wall and whatnot)

I think that's the plan I'm going to stick to for now. If anyone has any suggestions or elaborations on that, I'd love to hear them.

Say that whole thing to her on person or over the phone, for now just be like "Call me or let's meet up, I want to talk to you regarding your text" and don't say mermaid, that sounds so cheesy lol just say girl

this is just my opinion but i personally wouldnt mention the mermaid thing or other girls to her. that might give her more reason to leave your relationship

How did it go?