So after doing a lot of theory-based research for weeks, I figured it was about time to overcome my approach anxiety and open some sets in practice (this was 2 weeks ago, haven't sarged since because I'm working on my honours thesis).
Went to the local pub with a mate and met a couple more mates there. One of them is semi-keen on the whole pua thing (novice too though) so we decided we'd wing each other for a set or 2.
Anyways, after a lot of hesitation and about 6 drinks each, he opens the first couple of sets by... DLVing me?
I can't hear shit as it's right next to (and on) the dance floor, but I see him walk up to a 2-set smiling, say something and point at me, which I later find out was "wow this guy is such a weirdo!".
I tell him off about that after ejecting pretty quickly, but he goes and does the same thing again - he approaches a girl on the dance floor, she straight away shows him an engagement ring, so (maybe to save face?) he says "nono, my friend is kind of shy, can you do me a favour and dance with him?"
Now I don't know why he opened with either of these - whether he thought these were quality openers or thought DLVing me would DHV him by comparison or what. I'm also probably overreacting, but the main social problem I've always had is irrational insecurity and anxiety, so those kind of comments make me feel heaps self-conscious.
Anyways, I figured I'd show him how you are SUPPOSED to open (based entirely on research, no real practice).
So we see a 2-set talking (HB8 and HB6) & for the first time ever I follow the 3second rule and just walk up and open them with the drug dealer opinion opener (about your wing being asked for drugs despite looking nothing like a drug dealer).
After I open, I stay on the DD. thread for another 30 secs-1min or so, then go straight to the best friends test, they both laugh a fair bit, but kind of awkwardly at it.
I start up the smalltalk (maybe too early) but try to throw in a few negs which seem to go down ok (eg I comment on the fact that HB6 had a boy's name "Peta", but it kinda seemed cliched, like she'd get it all the time, she laughs a bit and rolls her eyes anyway though).
After this my wing starts talking to the HB6 (I get the impression the HB8 intimidates him a bit) so I start talking to the HB8. The conversation somehow turns to religious/philisophical beliefs (I tend to love this subject when I've had a few drinks) and she seems semi-interested. At first she is constantly maintaining eye contact, but after a couple of minutes she starts texting or something on her phone while we speak (her body language is still open, she looks up at me in the eyes frequently and maintains the conversation fairly well, but I read the fact that she is distracted by her phone as an IOD nonetheless).
After a few minutes I do the 5 questions game on HB6 then HB8 (who didn't listen to me do it on HB6 so it was still new). Both agree to the drinks wager, both lose on question 4 and find it pretty entertaining, but I don't push the fact that they technically owe me a drink now (partially because I am smashed, partially cos I don't have the guts).
Not long after this I eject from the set saying we gotta go meet our friends.
My wing opens another set after this and I step in to talk to the obstacle (who was an HB6.5 - I thought she was better than the target tbh). Anyways, I do the same opener but her response caught me off guard a bit when she said my wing does look like a drug dealer (I really don't think he does). This was a perfect opportunity to neg her about her wrong perceptions and distrust of people or something but I honestly didn't expect it so I mostly just act shocked and disagree with her. Regardless, she seems really enthusiastic/high energy and pretty soon she says "Haha I'll tell you what. I'll go ask him for some "bikkies" now and see what he makes of it". She is about to do this when the target ejects from the convo with my wing and pulls her away instead.
After this the pub was closing so we had to bail, but the fact that the experiences weren't negative gave me a pretty big buzz (I always subconsciously assumed walking up to a random would elicit a completely negative experience). I felt like I could open a lot more sets if there were more opportunities that night
.
Main sticking points:
* I keep forgetting to give an FTC as I open. I guess it should be the first thing I say (before opening) but for whatever reason I don't do it.
* My body language seems too direct/aggressive. Have to focus on facing away from the target at the start so I don't oversignal interest and smile more so its seems more casual.
* After opening I keep resorting to boring standard smalltalk, where I just ask questions about what the target does/where she lives etc etc and making pretty standard comments on her responses. I spose its better than awkward silence though.
Couple questions:
1.) What do you think of opening by DLVing your wing? What are you supposed to do if you are the wing and this happens to you?
2.) What should I have said to stop the first HB8 playing with her phone? I was thinking about saying something cocky/funny about it being rude to talk to someone else when she's already talking to me, but couldn't think of anything and didn't know if it would go down well.
3.) What do you think about heading into a religious/philisophical conversation thread with someone you've just met? I have met mixed responses with this (not just with sarging, but with convos with hairdressers etc too), as some people don't seem that comfortable talking about it at all whereas others are enthralled by it (like me). I always end up steering a conversation that way subconsciously and don't know whether I should try stop myself or not. Better than smalltalk I guess, but there are probably safer options.
4.) Any other tips/criticisms or things you noticed?
Cheers!
CHAT
