A mind blowing situation



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 Post subject: A mind blowing situation
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:54 pm 
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My ex hb7 was over the house hanging with friends. I brought my current HB8 by and we watched the superbowl. There were my friends and lots of people here at my place. I may have upset my ex by calling my current girl my girlfriend. Me and my ex were not on such good terms to use labels like GF BF.

Anyhow, the end of the night comes and its just my room mate and my ex chilling hanging around like they sometimes do.

My roommate decides to offer up a body massage. I walk into his room and see my ex naked in his bed.

So I flip shit and go off on them. I try to be rational, but it was hard because i still have feelings for my ex.

My girlfriend heard the whole thing. So after I had it out with them. The ex girl left.

I had to address things with my GF. She now knows I am hung up with feelings for my ex... But surprisingly she was cool with me after I explained these things to her.

I suppose I am a sensitive guy when it comes to these things.

The question is How could I have handled it better. And what can I expect to deal with in the future.

I am thinking of just moving out and finding my own place. The relationships I have built mean a lot to me. So please just do not tell me to move on. I am a emotional mess, lots of angry feelings right now..

Please help.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:02 pm 
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That sound rough man!!

Sorry no advice. I would have done the same! Move out lol.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:40 pm 
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How could you have handled this better? Well, first of all, your ex and your roommate didn't do anything wrong. You were totally out of line to lose your cool. Showing your anger and jealousy like that most likely lowered your value to both girls.

What you could have done differently? You could have continued to sleep with both girls discreetly, like I suggested you to do in a previous thread (here: is-it-bad-not-to-kiss-and-tell-more-the ... highlight=). You made a conscious effort to stop sleeping with your ex. What else did you expect her to do? She had every right to go and find new cock. Furthermore, you weren't having sex with her AND you had a new girlfriend.. that was your choice. In light of that, your roommate had every right to hit on your ex. In fact, you should be happy that they are ALSO getting laid (like you are).. the fact that you aren't makes you come off as kind of a dick. I mean, dude, you cock-blocked your roommate.. not cool.

You are now in the hole that you have dug for yourself. Hopefully you learn something from this experience.

-Wolf

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:06 pm 
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you should be happy that they are ALSO getting laid (like you are).. the fact that you aren't makes you come off as kind of a dick. I mean, dude, you cock-blocked your roommate.. not cool.
Pffftt. No way. Roommate should respect women that are off limits. He could have asked Cha how he felt about the whole thing. I agree he did not play it cool but seriously fuck it! Just tell the new girl you were pissed that your roommate would disrespect you like that.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:41 pm 
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you should be happy that they are ALSO getting laid (like you are).. the fact that you aren't makes you come off as kind of a dick. I mean, dude, you cock-blocked your roommate.. not cool.
Pffftt. No way. Roommate should respect women that are off limits. He could have asked Cha how he felt about the whole thing. I agree he did not play it cool but seriously fuck it! Just tell the new girl you were pissed that your roommate would disrespect you like that.

LOL, okay.. fair enough. Not everyone is going to have my "no-jealousy" mentality. However, I still don't see how this could RATIONALLY be considered disrespectful. Cha dumped her for a new girl.. what about that says "off-limits"?

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:48 pm 
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LOL, okay.. fair enough. Not everyone is going to have my "no-jealousy" mentality. However, I still don't see how this could RATIONALLY be considered disrespectful. Cha dumped her for a new girl.. what about that says "off-limits"?
Oh I thought she ended it becuase he says he still has strong feeling for her.

But still I personally would never try to bang a friends ex-girlfriend. That's just my view on friendship though, especially if you live in the same house!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:51 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
you should be happy that they are ALSO getting laid (like you are).. the fact that you aren't makes you come off as kind of a dick. I mean, dude, you cock-blocked your roommate.. not cool.
Pffftt. No way. Roommate should respect women that are off limits. He could have asked Cha how he felt about the whole thing. I agree he did not play it cool but seriously fuck it! Just tell the new girl you were pissed that your roommate would disrespect you like that.

LOL, okay.. fair enough. Not everyone is going to have my "no-jealousy" mentality. However, I still don't see how this could RATIONALLY be considered disrespectful. Cha dumped her for a new girl.. what about that says "off-limits"?
Ok good things went down. I fixed a lot of this issue today. Thanks for taking such interest in my progress wolf and SmoothOp!

haha, normally I am not a cock block to my homies.. But..

First off Wolf! I take the good and leave the bad with what you posted. Had you known that I was in love with my ex girl you would have had a better perspective about why I flipped my lid. On the other hand, I finely took your advice about this one... Ill elaborate..

When I woke, I talked to my roommate in a sensible manor. I told him what I valued in him. He is a good guy and is on a dry spell. So he was thinking with his dick. I actually got to the point where I told him. "You could have totally f closed, had you ran it by me for the sake of my feelings." I think the rule is 6 months anyways. We came to a good understanding, slapped paws and we are cool. But then something else went down.

I went to talk to my ex with the intent to be sincere about the situation. She advised we go to Starbucks! We got some venti and then took a drive. Its hard to get her to open up. So the whole time I was doing alot of probing statements and questions in a soft tone. "why would you do that, I really need to know?" Do you just not think about my feelings, U kno I still think about your feelings regarding other people." After this she broke down and told me, "I love you, I want to just touch and have you every time I see you." Me; "How do you suggest we handle this?" Her, "I don't know, I want to still be friends, but it is sooo hard!" We parked at the beach and she proceed to cry alot. I said, "Hey come here." She promptly sat in my lap and told me plenty of mushy stuff, ill spare u.. I dried her tears with my hand. Me; "U know I feel the same way, I love you too, but I have a GF now." her, Blah blah, cry, cry... Me; "dried tears again, lifted up chin and small kiss on the mouth." Her, "strong french kiss." Me, "touching all over, kissing back, fingering from behind."

A moment passed and I went into something that is very important for me at this stage, as I enter the world of cheating!!! Kiss kiss; hands on her face, strongly said! "I want to trust you." I need to trust you. Tell me I can trust you!!

HB, you can trust me
Me, tell me I can trust u?
HB, you can trust me...
Me, I want to believe you!
HB, You can.
Me, Promise!
HB, I promise.
Me, "More serious" Make me believe u
HB, You can trust me, I promise you can. Ill do anything for you. I want you, I need you. I need your cock.

This was followed by awesome sex on the beach. Were she came 3 times then swallowed the whole load.

Me, You cant tell anyone
Her, I wont
Me, make me believe you!
Her, I promise this is between us. I wont tell anyone ever!
Me, Never its our secret!
Her, Yes, I promise, I need you, blah blah blah!!!

So I should feel bad about cheating. But I do not. I was in love with my ex and now she is on official FB status, on the Low Low...

I told her that we could hang out once a week. We will have to get a hotel room and make a night out of it tho. It actually sounds like a great idea. She has another boy right now too. I got my other HB8 girlfriend. But we generally will see each other every other day. That leaves a lot more time for sex with my love struck ex!

I had some ideas for rules, with a secret or Deseret FB, as you put it Wolf!

Here are my ideas..

We each pick two days a month. That is 4 days a month that we fuck officially. 2 for her and 2 for me!
We are always honest. No more lies! I do not give a fuck about who else she fucks anymore as long as I am not close with the dude.
We can be all lovey when we are alone only. Other then that, we are ex's to the world and just friends to everyone else. A part of me likes that sort of thing.
No holds barred in bed. That always was the case tho. No probs here.
And yes, its all gunna be a secret. except to hotel staff.

So now that I am here... Any advice.. Did i redeem myself in your eyes, or am I still a chode?? haha

It was just a very touchy moment. I still do not know about my HB8 GF. She went back to her dads place. I was going to wait a bit.. Then I will see what is up with her. She acted very cool.. I am not sure about the feeling. I will keep you pros posted. Thanks for the advice all.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:49 am 
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Wow. I'm not the cheating type, to each his own I guess. It seems to me like you haven't let your ex go. You're thinking about that "love" shit and it has the two of you cheating on your partners. Shit seems pretty bogus to me. The situation with your friend giving her a massage is on a level all it's own. Let me ask you a question: Why are you cheating on your girlfriend with your ex???


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:31 am 
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Wow. I'm not the cheating type, to each his own I guess. It seems to me like you haven't let your ex go. You're thinking about that "love" shit and it has the two of you cheating on your partners. Shit seems pretty bogus to me. The situation with your friend giving her a massage is on a level all it's own. Let me ask you a question: Why are you cheating on your girlfriend with your ex???
My girlfriend is great. She is awesome on many levels, except for sex. She has some mental blocks in her head when it comes to really opening up in this regard. With that, my GF has been with 4 guys me being one of them.

My ex/current FB, fucks like a porn star. She will do anything in the bed room. However her personality sucks. But when it comes to pleaseing me sexually she is top notch. One of the best I have had. I respect that about her.

This is the first time I ever lied or seriously cheated in a relationship. I just wanna feel the other side. I have been cheated on, ill admit, it sucks. A part of me feels bad. I just ignore that part tho. Being on the other side of the coin give you a new perspective. Honestly I feel empowered. I will admit, it is a ego trip. But then again.. Its my life. I used to be such a nice guy too.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:12 pm 
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Well, it's a start. I'm sorry if I came off overly harsh in my previous posts. Think of it as my version of tough love. I want nothing more than for you to totally be able to hook up with two hot girls without having to deal with drama from either of them. Hopefully you learn some stuff from all this craziness.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:55 am 
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Didn't you just write another post about cheating on your new girlfriend?! I have no sympathy for you at all. And your roomates an idiot for not locking the door.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 5:06 am 
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I just have this to say: as long as you live in a house where your ex is coming by on the regular, its going to be hard to branch out and form new relationships. The temptation is too great and it seems like a breeding ground for flaring emotions. Moving out is definitely the best option.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:33 am 
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I just have this to say: as long as you live in a house where your ex is coming by on the regular, its going to be hard to branch out and form new relationships. The temptation is too great and it seems like a breeding ground for flaring emotions. Moving out is definitely the best option.
I appreciate that advice. thanks short

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