Getting over the girl that got us into PUA



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:32 pm 
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I liked this girl a lot. We were good friends, but when I asked her out, she said no. I know a lot of guys got into PUA because of that one girl. I have trouble staying in state when I see her. I become miserable. I haven't talked to her ever since (it's been about 3 months) but I am forced to see her everyday.. two+ times a day. when i was with her, i did some serious, heavy "AFC" shit.. i need to do something about this.

SHORTER VERSION: to put it in lame man terms, she broke my heart, and i haven't talked to her in 3 months, but i am forced to see her everyday.

What the fuck should I do? how did you guys handle it?


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 Post subject: My Thoughts..
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:21 am 
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She lost her chance with a guy who is aware of the world of self-improvement. A guy who cares deeply and passionately about people. A guy who is dedicated to getting himself to a place where he is successful and is willing to work on himself until he gets there.

That is the frame. She made a mistake. First shift is to change your body language.. Walking with confidence.. smiling.. for more detail go to my website below, but the main point here is that I know you're a catch already by the mere fact that you want and deserve more out of life. And, that eventually that will ooze out of every facet of your being. Enjoy the journey my friend. Quite a few years ago I had a girl reject me and I was confused as well... but if you take the steps to change your life you'll realize that you actually appreciate her for opening your eyes to a better world. Then one day you'll fuck a chick twice as good.. and that will be nice :)

cheers.

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 Post subject: Thank you.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:58 am 
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I'm ... speechless..

I deeply appreciate your encouragement, and if I could show my gratitude in any other way, I would. I can't help but feel empowered. I appreciate you.

The least I can do is return the compliment. You, yourself, are a phenomenal being. Your talent at uplifting the most beaten down of spirits is rare. I have no doubt that your ability to empathize with people will reap great rewards, if not already.

Thank you, again.


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 Post subject: my first post
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:21 am 
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your post made me think. in life it takes something like a real bitch to make us wake up and see our own afc-ness. i smile every time i see the girl that did it too me because she unknowingly did more to make me a catch than she could realize. when she hurt me i found this site and the book the game and seeing everyone going through the same drama as me not only gave me hope but made my self confidance sky rocket because so many people have been able to change for the better . so good luck mate !


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 Post subject: Re: my first post
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:03 am 
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Quote:
your post made me think. in life it takes something like a real bitch to make us wake up and see our own afc-ness. i smile every time i see the girl that did it too me because she unknowingly did more to make me a catch than she could realize. when she hurt me i found this site and the book the game and seeing everyone going through the same drama as me not only gave me hope but made my self confidance sky rocket because so many people have been able to change for the better . so good luck mate !
Agree entirely. Our split happened about 9 months ago, but we're not on completely unspeakable terms now. I saw her the other day, got chatting a bit and told her about something I'd done the week before (it was only going to this meet with nobody I knew, which seems like the easiest thing for me to do now, but when I was with her I was much more introverted).

She said "oh, you'd have never done something like that a year ago." I didn't tell her to her face that she was right - but that was a real good moment for me. I guess I hadn't realised how much I had changed until she said that. Even more so when you have opened your eyes, and realised that you can do better than her now. And the bitter-but-oh-so-sweet irony of it all is that the only reason you can now do better than that one girl who you once thought was "the one", is because she was the one who hurt you and woke you up to all of this in the first place.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:18 am 
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The way I got over the bitch is to use my newly learned game to get even with her. Jokes on her :D

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 Post subject: Re: my first post
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:36 am 
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Quote:
your post made me think. in life it takes something like a real bitch to make us wake up and see our own afc-ness. i smile every time i see the girl that did it too me because she unknowingly did more to make me a catch than she could realize. when she hurt me i found this site and the book the game and seeing everyone going through the same drama as me not only gave me hope but made my self confidance sky rocket because so many people have been able to change for the better . so good luck mate !
The eye opening girl that brings you to the real world comes in many forms.
Not neccesarilly must be a bitch, in my case, my oneitis is a girl who, even thou I was being a huge dick to her and others, stood there with tender and looked at me like a poor guy.

I was 15 back then, now Im a different man, but shes already in a relationship. She always is.

My point is that I owe the girl in my mind, she made me self aware, and its been a while since Im into this shit, but I honestly cant let go of her ghost.
I know someday Ill might lay her, I know Im going to need some heavy money in my pocket, but I rather lay her for what I learned rather than for what Im worth.

If the way of letting her go is by laying her, I simply hope its not too late. We are still young, 23 years old, but every single year is an opportunity.

If you ever find out a healthy way of letting go, please share.
Shes really stupid, but Im even more stupid when Im with her.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:34 am 
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Hey guys,

it's been a while. i finally talked to that chick.. told her it's too exhausting to keep ignoring her and i just don't care enough anymore (which is the truth). it was refreshing and an "ahhhhh phewwwww" moment. i feel so much more chill now.

as to what bond 007 said, love is a complicated thing. as much as pua's may have mastered seduction, love is a different beast in itself that many have tried to explain. how do you get over that girl? well, time and resolve. for me, i found another girl that seems even more awesome and makes the former girl look like a chump. but, that answer you're going to have to find yourself. enjoy the journey and decide what you really want and go after it bro.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:22 am 
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Quote:
I liked this girl a lot. We were good friends, but when I asked her out, she said no. I know a lot of guys got into PUA because of that one girl. I have trouble staying in state when I see her. I become miserable. I haven't talked to her ever since (it's been about 3 months) but I am forced to see her everyday.. two+ times a day. when i was with her, i did some serious, heavy "AFC" shit.. i need to do something about this.

SHORTER VERSION: to put it in lame man terms, she broke my heart, and i haven't talked to her in 3 months, but i am forced to see her everyday.

What the fuck should I do? how did you guys handle it?
Same here man, progressing a little slower, mostly because trying to get over her while still being her friend. Does she deserve me being her friend? Of course not, even my friends told me that it was wrong her manipulating me like that (they thought she told me long ago). So yea, being a cold asshole to her. I mean still looking out for her, but whenever she hints to me that she's my girl or that I love her, I look at her straight in the eye and tell her "Your not mine, quit saying that" as cold as possible. Honestly feels good to me, and if she doesn't want to be my friend? She was a bitch to begin with!

So yea, written on a blog post about what happened today, didn't work out so well partly because of my pissed off state. But, I'll be feeling better another day and sarge.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:31 am 
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@creativesimplex

Glad to hear it!!!!!

cheers

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 Post subject: Re: My Thoughts..
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:41 pm 
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Quote:
She lost her chance with a guy who is aware of the world of self-improvement. A guy who cares deeply and passionately about people. A guy who is dedicated to getting himself to a place where he is successful and is willing to work on himself until he gets there.

This was pure awesomeness!.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:17 pm 
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I have to echo the thoughts of other people here -- I feel almost obligated to the person who made me aware of self improvement, which the underlying theme of all PUA. Self Improvement is one of the best possible things someone can read up on and apply to their life.

That experience was a while ago, but I enjoyed the time we had with eachother. However, if getting into another relationship is what you are after, "Getting Over" them really isn't about them. It's about you. More importantly, you have to be come to terms that there are a lot of very wonderful women out there, and you are doing a disservice to both them and yourself by not being optimistic that there is an even better girl out there for you.

There is.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:39 am 
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haha, glad to hear about your success!

almost the exact same thing happened to me at almost the same time as you.

I really screwed up though, don't think it would've made a difference anyway

oneitis... lol... thats exactly what I had, she was the one, sure of it, but it didn't work so I have to move on.

hellishly hard seeing her everyday though LOL

guess that's what it is, taking it as a joke and learning experience. 8)

nah it could never have worked... its just a shame that things have to be this way.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:33 am 
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You gotta look past her.

Everyday you'll see at least 5 gorgeous girls walking past or waiting or even looking at you.

That's the only encouragement I needed.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:09 pm 
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I was such a weak one once upon a time. Always trying to be the nice guy, helping, helping, helping. Never receiving, even accepting it when I got scorned and snapped at by the ones I was trying to help. I. Was. Pathetic.

Then this one girl rejected me, right after a night of intimacy. Meant a lot to me, because she was one of my closest friends since my early childhood (since I can remember). She tore away at my ego, and made it look like it was all my fault. Strange that it took the complete stripping of my ego, which before had been based on nothing, for me to build back up my pride on something real.

Believe me, opening myself up to the PUA lifestyle has really brought out a lot more than the desire to 'get laid'. It's helped me appreciate myself more, and take better care of myself. I work hard, and play harder now. I have a decent job, with a schedule that allows me time to workout for at least half and hour a day. I have a few close friends - because most of the friends I used to know only wanted to be around me if I acted the way they wanted me to - but the close few are all I need. The new people I need, though they may not be close, remember me in a positive light if we ever run into each other again.

But it all started with me WANTING to change.


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