DAY 86: going to a party, escalating with Princess.
"We have so many things in common"
Context.
I invited Princess (the European girl I've met in Brazil) to a photo exposition since I knew she was into photography. We agreed on going on Saturday. Some days after, she offered to go to a Carnaval party in a Parisian club with the exchange students who where in Brazil with us. This field report is about that crazy night. Going to a party and seeing these friends was a good opportunity for me to practice a bit, specially on Princess. I've always had major difficulties understanding her... Communication just sucks between us, we have a lot in common though, but I've never been able to get really close to her. At the same time, I got shit tested a lot and get some IOI's.
Strategy.
I need to learn from that chaos and find a way through all those frictions I have when interacting with her. Here are some points I wanted to focus on:
- Connect with her by talking about relationships: that's a subject we all have in common and it worked pretty well for me in the past. It can also help me DHV and get rid of small talk and address the core of her personality.
- Honesty: we have troubles understanding each other, well let's speak about it. Maybe she feels that way too.
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Summary (for lazy people): my plan to connect with her worked well. I managed to isolate her quite easily. She was mine, but realize I didn't really want her. We left the club together.
Texting on Valentine's day.
She invited me on Tuesday, it was Valentine's day. Since I already thought about my Saturday date with her,
I started to apply my strategy. At the end of a loop about the party, I asked her what she got for V-day. It was a way for me to know if she was seeing someone. Told me she had nothing, her "bf" was not talking to her in a few days. She asked the question back and I took the opportunity to DHV and take his boyfriend's side in a "what did you do to him bad girl?". I didn't want to criticize him since I didn't want her to take his defense. She explained the situation which was absolutely AFC. We stopped texting.
Warming up at a friend's place.
We all agreed on meeting at a friend's place to have some drinks before going there. She was the only girl, and as always
she was getting a lot of attention... except from me. A guy was clearly enjoying interacting with her. From a game perspective, he had already lost. I was enjoying myself, talking to my friends, talking to her from time to time, never gave her my total attention. The night was just starting and I knew she would come to me at some point or the other.
At some point, she joined me in the sofa and we started to speak a bit. The guy who was enjoying speaking to her asked her to come between us (a spot was free between him and I)... I told her that she should go, "he probably wants to hit on you"... she rolled her eyes and stayed with me. At that point, the room was mine. I connected with all the guys in the party (I knew most of them) and the only girl was speaking to me.
I'm starting to be good at those social dynamics.
I was slowly getting tipsy but my game was okay. We started to speak and I introduce my delightful subject: relationships. We started to speak. Told her I was seeing someone but we had nothing in common (Pondichery Girl). "It's often like that, but sometimes it's the other way around, you have a lot in common with a person, but communications suck and you just can't figure it out". With this small sentence, I managed to get her started "wait is it what you think about us, I mean we have so many things in common". Bingo. We were now speaking close to each other, escalating. The others were starting to notice. At some point she told me "we should date/hang out" but I couldn't say if she actually said that. Music was loud, alcohol was diffusing my attention.
A new light on an old event.
When I got back from Brazil, I wanted to take her to a American Dinner
50-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=740 to get a US breakfast and see each other again. On my way to the place, she texted me she would come with someone (the guy she's with now). I played it cool and actually connected with the guy a lot. Well I finally know the true version of that story.
The guy actually didn't want her to go by herself to the dinner with me. I knew at that point that I was winning the Game. She told me about her relationships in Brazil, the guys she's been with... I considered some of them way "better" than me.
The party.
As we got in there, I actually met some guys from my business school. That was a huge DHV for me again. We went to the dance floor with all our friends and started to dance. I like to dance. I really enjoy it... but when it comes to dance with a girl... I get stuck. I didn't know how to escalate with her, I didn't have enough experience to do that even though I've already danced with girls. But yeah it was not working out at all. After more than one hour dancing slightly drunk. I decided to quit and went to the bar upstairs. As I was there, I opened two strangers, one was Japanese, and the girl he was with was American. As I was doing small talk with them, the girl actually started to hit on me in French. That was fun. I got my drink and went back to the dance floor. I've met Princess again who seemed a bit bored/tired.
Told her to go upstairs with me. Isolation. Grabbed her by the wrist and lead her. As we were walking to go there, I noticed several guys checking her out. I smiled at some of them but wasn't really understanding why all these guys found her so attractive.
Isolating in the lounge.
Perfect, the plan was going well. I was not alone with her, got her full attention in a perfect set to escalate. We were sitting close to each other, facing. Alcohol was not helping me though, not at all. It was the go for it moment. There was just one problem:
I didn't want her. I don't really know what to tell you, it's just like that. She is just not right for me. We spoke more about relationships and all... She told me she liked me because I had "values" (lol actually, also because of my value I guess).
Leaving with her.
She wanted to leave, I followed her. I was a bit drunk and kept up opening a lot of people just for the fun. We got our coats and left the club to walk to the metro station. I was doing the claw. I had my arm around her neck, my hand on her right shoulder, holding her hand.
I eventually kissed her chick, slightly touching her lips but that's all. I didn't want more. We waited for the metro together as she was checking her phone to see the emails her "boyfriend" sent her. He was all "I love you" but in a really AFC way as far as I understood. She told me about it. It was boring. We took the metro and said goodbye. I was seeing her a few hours later for our exposition.
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Positive aspects.
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Logistics went good, I was worried about it before going to the party.
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Physical Appearance: I had a one-day beard, dressed nicely, clean hair cut...
- I really had
fun, enjoyed seeing my friends from Brazil.
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Social Dynamics: I was able to show an amazing amount of value without doing a lot.
- I'm getting
experience in a club environment.
Negative aspects.
-
I don't know what I want: Princess was all mine, back in Brazil I would be dying to get attention from her but I didn't feel that way at all that night. I was genuinely not that attracted. Half of the guys in the club would be dying to make out with her. I wasn't.
-
Dancing skills: I suck when it comes to grab a girl by the arm to dance with me.
- I was not aroused at all again... Even when I isolated her... and it's been almost 4 weeks without any masturbation.
- I
spoke too much again... it's bad specially when there's no need for it.
- I was
too drunk to have a good game, but not enough to be able to grab her and dance with her.
- I
didn't open any unknown girl with a Game intention, a lot of guys and mixed groups though.
What I've learned.
-
Social dynamics are a really important tool to master.
- When communication is an issue with a girl,
let her know how you feel about it.
- I am
picky (maybe too much?) To be honest that Swiss Girl was a girl I really wanted to get, but I've failed. Girls I'm meeting now are just not as "high value" as I would like, I want somebody that
charms me.
- I have to meet more higher value girls, but for that, I have to
approach out of my social circles.
-
Straw Man technique work well.
I really enjoyed partying with the guys I was in Brazil with.