Hey guys, I know that this is very unorthodox because it might show lack of leadership, but consider the following.

There's this girl I know who has shown interest in me in the (distant) past. She has my number. She recently got back in touch with me (added me on FB) after about 2 years of no communication, and we started chatting (again, she initiated it). Naturally, I'd like to move this forward and out of FB as soon as possible, as I think face-to-face is best.

But why should I call her? Why not make this a little of a challenge for her? I was thinking of going with something like "If we're going to catch up we need to do it properly, in person over a beer. You have my number, give me a call when you're free". Naturally, I won't be free that day (because I'm such a busy person), but I'll reschedule to the next day or whenever the hell I'm available.

It's probably worth mentioning that considering our history and the situation I'm confident that she'll call me, and I wouldn't try this if I wasn't sure.

Now many of you may say that this is very beta of me, because I'm putting her in charge. But allow me to beg to differ. I'm the one calling the shots, I told her what to do. Also, I think this demonstrates high confidence. Why? Because I'm obviously so confident that I'm willing to throw the ball over to her side, KNOWING that she will eventually call me. Also, because this is so unusual I think it might throw her off balance and make me look different in her mind.

I will report my finding as they come. In the meantime, what do you guys think? Awesome idea? Terrible idea? Lack of leadership? High confidence? Let's hear it!

I think you're putting a little too much into who calls who. Don't lead her on too much. This girl obviously isn't a 9 or a 10 so she probably has a sensitive disposition. If you don't show any effort she'll assume you're not interested and move on. Don't Show interest right away first rush her with A3 material. Smash out commonalities on facebook chat and then say: "we should hang out and talk more about (whatever) in person." Then call her spontaneously and say "hey you bored wanna go for a drive and a smoke" "the mall" "a coffee" whatever you like doing.

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Actually, she's 8-9. But she's not some stuck up bitch, I know she'll make the call.

The reason why I'm trying hard not to look like I'm making an effort is because a few years ago we used to be friends. It was one of those friendships where sexual tension was always in the air, but either I had a girlfriend or she had a boyfriend. Eventually I came forward and got rejected because she was in a relationship.

It's been 2 years since we last spoke, and I know she only tried getting back in touch with me after she and her (other) boyfriend had broken up a few months ago. So this isn't exactly escaping the friendzone because it's been so long, but still, I wouldn't want to come off as needy after being rejected once, so I want to make her feel like she has to work for it. You know, switching roles. When it comes down to it, it's all about showing high value and have the girl chasing you, is it not?

I know that when she finally picks up the courage to make the call she'll have her heart racing like a teenage boy asking a girl out. I'm thinking maybe this is the kind of feeling I want her to have.

this is pretty normal shit to not chase girls, you ping them once in a while, but honestly it is probably better to have girls contacting you more then you contact them, and re-planning the meetup is just controling the frame of the interaction, if she flakes on you it is irrelivant because she was requesting the meet, not you, you just gave her the ultimatum of she can meet you at x time, but the frame is still set to you being indifferent if she meets or not

there is nothing ''beta'' about this, it is just not being needy is all it is, this is how to roll with it, collect alot of numbers and constantly be going out until you have some girls or a girl providing you with regular sex, call then and text them for a bit after getting the number and try to get a meetup, if they flake or not just slow down contact over text/phone, unless they are intitiating and just use it as a way to get meetups (not build rapport), spend your rapport building time in person, and just rely on the fact that the girls interested in you will contact you, and pinging your numbers 1 time every 1-2 weeks with invites will give you an idea of the ones that are interested that don't contact first (the girls that don't flake), and when you have flakes, just give them 3 chances then don't contact them any more (consider this no interest), just ping the flakes randomly after long periods of time and make sure to not invite them out, let them do that, and always flake on them and re-plan

Thank you pumpington, I'm looking for feedback for this particular case.

Thanks man. I should try that. It is hard cause so many girls have guys chasing them so, its like, I got to luck out or something? I am hearing people talk about deleting girls or freezing them out? That is something I never tried before. My friend also gave me advice that, instead of texting, its much better to call so, they can't play games on me. I will give this a shot.

Hey meetjoeblack, I suggest being careful with this approach. It's not field-proven as far as I know, and also I think it might work only in some situations (like the one I'm in, hopefully). I sent her the message about an hour ago, I'll report what happens next. It's most likely going to take several days for her to call.

I wouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. It comes down to what kind of frame you established with the girl every time she's been around you. I'm already too much of a straight forward guy. I call the shots and I direct. Not just the girl but everyone in the social interaction. I'm the leader type. If I were to tell a girl she can call me it would be very incongruent with the rest of my style and personality. Girls pickup on anything a man does that's incongruent with the rest of his personality like you wouldn't believe. She'd immediately recognize this as something out of character and likely classify it as an indication of me having such a high level of interest in her that she intimidates me and I'm scared. Very beta.

Stay congruent! This is critical. This tactic may work for you, but make sure it fits like a piece of a puzzle into the rest of your personality to convey congruence.

Great input PurePlaya, I'll pay attention to that.

So here's what happened:

She waited a couple of days and then texted me. I was expecting her to call, but maybe she got a little nervous. After all, it's been 2 years since we last spoke. Whatever.

The text was very positive, she asked me if I got plans for the weekend, so she's definitely up for it.

Only one problem. She negged me. I guess that's what happens when you switch roles It was a playful neg I guess, something about me being a "geek" because I now attend engineering school. I'm not really a geek, but it's still a neg.

How do I respond to that? I didn't have anything smart to say at the very moment so I'm just ignoring the text for now, but I'll have to answer it in the morning otherwise it'll look like I'm overthinking it (wich I am doing of course). I'm pretty positive I'm supposed to neg her back or maybe turn this into some sort of teasing game.

I could REALLY use some ideas here!

stop over thinking this shit, be yourself, that is what is attractive to women, but being yourself for yourself, not for her, don't try to impress her, don't try to do weird negative shit to her to get a reaction from her, do what suites you, not what suites her, you don't have to respond at all to a negative comment by a girl, they are infact considered shit tests, how do you fail the test?, react to it, you can respond but the whole point is that it does not effect you, what is actually important is that she meets you, you have a good time, and try to kiss her when you meet up

that is what you should be more concerned about, how much fun you are having, and if she is the right girl for you, not how she is going to respond to what you do, or if you are the right guy for her, stop thinking this way, you will not be able to have a good relationship with anyone if you are, stop trying to please people and find people that please you, go for what you want

and as far as your specific situation, you have the meetup from her and she arranged it, she is into you, all you have to do, is exactly what you have done that has got you up to this point and move things towards sex at what ever pace suites you, but you better actually move things in a direction or they will become stagnant

Roll with the punches when she negs you. If she calls you a geek, say youre not just any geek. You are the KING OF GEEKS. If she says you're weird, you say weird is just another word for very interesting. Flip her comment around to make it sound like she just gave you the biggest compliment in the world. It diffuses her neg and makes it fun at the same time.

I actually can't take credit for that first one. It's a slight twist to what I heard from an episode of Big Bang Theory. If you have a chance to watch it, catch The Recombination Hypothesis from season 5.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

Vietman100, that's gold. I used it and it worked very well.

pumpington, you definitely have a point there. I need to work on my state of mind, it's a work in progress.