she makes me forget how to play the game..help? :S



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:35 pm 
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Hey Guys....ok really sorry for the mahoosive post, but I appreciate any advice

So im 19, I came across this PUA stuff after watching Mystery's "The Pick Up Artist" last summer, and then got sucked deeper into the PUA world after listening to "The Game" and watching some interesting videos from the likes of Style and Gambler.

So far, its really improved my life, feeling more confident, met more women and don't get nervous talking to them like I used to...until I met "Y" that is!

its weird, Y isn't the best looking of girls, probably a 6 or 7, and i've barely spoken to her, but she's just got something about her. she's on my university course and luckily in my smaller seminar classes, the only times I've spoken to her is in my classes, once before xmas when I told her I was visiting her country (she's an overseas student) and another after xmas when I was chatting to her and her group of female friends in class and laughing about how our lecturer supposedly talked like Gerard butler, she then asked me how I liked her country (I managed to say "its awesome" just before the teacher walked in and that was it, end of convo)

So I really wanted to talk to her, more 1-on-1 like, so got onto facebook (we've been facebook friends for like 3 months, haven't spoken, but the odd "like" here and there).

I posted this on her wall:
"ok, after careful consideration, i've concluded that our Economics tutor doesn't talk like Gerard Butler...he talks like Jonathan Ross...see for yourself!!! :p x >>> [youtube link]"
her friend liked it, which i thought was a good start (the way to a girls heart is through her friends right?"

couple hours later Y posted
"Whattttt? Not at all! He's so Gerard Butler! Their mouths move in the exact same way, it's like their more or less the same person :P just concentrate a little harder and I'm sure you'll see it sooner or later!"

ok and now im shitting it...no idea what to reply...i don't know whether she's playing or what...never usually like this with girls, can neg and banter all day long....but I'm just worried about totally screwing up before we've even started & my mind has gone blank

so I was planning on writing something with a quick neg in there, perhaps along the lines of:
"I kinda agree on the mouth movement, like as if he’s got a dislocated jaw, right? but dude, Gerard Butler doesn't have a lisp like our economics tutor, which is where Jonathan Ross comes in, because he’s got the lisp AND the dodgy jaw! :D

haha, woah, that last sentence blew me away, where did you find out how to be soo sassy? I wanna learn :p x"


but is it too early to neg considering I barely know her? what would you guys advise me to do? baring in mind we haven't really established much common ground apart from the fact we've bantered about a teacher and i've visited her country over christmas (and know a few words/phrases in her language)...but i just don't know how to sway it so I can get a deeper conversation flowing

Once again, apologies for the essay, help and advice are much appreciated!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:50 pm 
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Why stress so much over facebook conversations? Get her frickin phone number, then you can get into deep conversations

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"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:15 pm 
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Why stress so much over facebook conversations? Get her frickin phone number, then you can get into deep conversations
dude, that would be the dream, no idea how to ask for it though...seems abit early to ask for her number

looking back over what i've just written, I sound like the old me...the AFC is coming out again and im getting emotions involved

but i need some help replying to her comment with a DHV, her "concentrate harder" comment dented my value to i'd like to reply back to increase it, with a neg? ...and perhaps keep her thinking about it/me over the weekend, if not reply back

any advice on how to reply back and perhaps spark up a convo would be much appreciated!!! :D


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:21 pm 
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She sounded as if she was simply teasing you, not threatening your "value". You don't need a DHV, just reply with something funny and tease her back. Reply with what you said in the post, its fine. Don't over think this stuff

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"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:21 pm 
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Not sure if this is any good advise.. but

Your first suggestion seemed ok to me, but how about:

'How can I concentrate more on how he talks when I'm busy watching you? ha ha..'

(cheesy I know, but with the idea you are only kidding with her)

This will give you an answer if she's in to you or LJBF...


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:38 pm 
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Quote:
Not sure if this is any good advise.. but

Your first suggestion seemed ok to me, but how about:

'How can I concentrate more on how he talks when I'm busy watching you? ha ha..'

(cheesy I know, but with the idea you are only kidding with her)

This will give you an answer if she's in to you or LJBF...
haha dude, I was totally thinking the same thing, but then I thought its too early to even hint im interested considering she's practically a stranger...plus im not gonna lie...haven't got the balls to say that lol

another thing I was I was going to write:
"I was trying to concentrate, but got distracted by someone in our class, someone really hot ;)"
hoping she would reply: "who"
then I'd go for the C&F approach: "myself in the mirror at the back"

my only fear is, if she doesn't reply "who", then that's it, im done and the next class would be so awkward...plus with her being foreign makes it abit harder as to whether or not the cocky/funny thing will come through!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:47 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Not sure if this is any good advise.. but

Your first suggestion seemed ok to me, but how about:

'How can I concentrate more on how he talks when I'm busy watching you? ha ha..'

(cheesy I know, but with the idea you are only kidding with her)

This will give you an answer if she's in to you or LJBF...
haha dude, I was totally thinking the same thing, but then I thought its too early to even hint im interested considering she's practically a stranger...plus im not gonna lie...haven't got the balls to say that lol

another thing I was I was going to write:
"I was trying to concentrate, but got distracted by someone in our class, someone really hot ;)"
hoping she would reply: "who"
then I'd go for the C&F approach: "myself in the mirror at the back"

my only fear is, if she doesn't reply "who", then that's it, im done and the next class would be so awkward...plus with her being foreign makes it abit harder as to whether or not the cocky/funny thing will come through!
Ha ha... I like the mirror one..

But, I would just say that time wasted waiting is time for someone else to make that 1st move..

As per rules of TwennyP:
1) Make the Opener (begin the conversation/interaction)
2) Make the connection (interaction that moves towards attraction notice)
3) Make the attraction (let them know you want more than chat/friend)
4) Get your response (she likes you/she says LJBF)
5a) (she likes you) Your on!
5b) (LJBF) Time to move on to next victim/target...

You have done stage 1 & 2.. Now time for that 3...


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:00 am 
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Quote:

Ha ha... I like the mirror one..

But, I would just say that time wasted waiting is time for someone else to make that 1st move..

As per rules of TwennyP:
1) Make the Opener (begin the conversation/interaction)
2) Make the connection (interaction that moves towards attraction notice)
3) Make the attraction (let them know you want more than chat/friend)
4) Get your response (she likes you/she says LJBF)
5a) (she likes you) Your on!
5b) (LJBF) Time to move on to next victim/target...

You have done stage 1 & 2.. Now time for that 3...
yeah I totally understand man

nice set of rules to go by man, just trying to relate what i've done
1) I think I opened well (given the lacking number of openers I could have used), it was pretty relevant to what happened in the day and wasn't a weird stalky opener...from which she negged me
2) this is what im asking advice for, I'm looking to make a connection, at least to get a conversation going...I need the first stepping stone, once im on I think i'll be able to hop across the pond...but its just getting onto the first stepping stone

I have no idea what to say, I don't know whether her "concentrate harder" comment was an invitation to go flirt, or whether she phrased it weird with her being foreign, in which case im not sure if I can reply with a neg! ahh man...thinking waaay to deep into it...FML

I think my best bet it just to down a few, grow some deutsch courage balls and write summit!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:11 am 
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yeah I totally understand man

nice set of rules to go by man, just trying to relate what i've done
1) I think I opened well (given the lacking number of openers I could have used), it was pretty relevant to what happened in the day and wasn't a weird stalky opener...from which she negged me
2) this is what im asking advice for, I'm looking to make a connection, at least to get a conversation going...I need the first stepping stone, once im on I think i'll be able to hop across the pond...but its just getting onto the first stepping stone

I have no idea what to say, I don't know whether her "concentrate harder" comment was an invitation to go flirt, or whether she phrased it weird with her being foreign, in which case im not sure if I can reply with a neg! ahh man...thinking waaay to deep into it...FML

I think my best bet it just to down a few, grow some deutsch courage balls and write summit!!!
No man, you already had the opener before you started FBing..
FB and any face to face conversations you've had were stage 2 (done)

Yes - Way to over thinking it mate.. Just put your first comment (skip the neg part in my opinion) just the part about the lisp etc..

Don't worry about the concentration statement she's made.. it's something or nothing..

But I like my cheesy one to be sure of stage 3!! ha ha

Twenny


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:26 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
yeah I totally understand man

nice set of rules to go by man, just trying to relate what i've done
1) I think I opened well (given the lacking number of openers I could have used), it was pretty relevant to what happened in the day and wasn't a weird stalky opener...from which she negged me
2) this is what im asking advice for, I'm looking to make a connection, at least to get a conversation going...I need the first stepping stone, once im on I think i'll be able to hop across the pond...but its just getting onto the first stepping stone

I have no idea what to say, I don't know whether her "concentrate harder" comment was an invitation to go flirt, or whether she phrased it weird with her being foreign, in which case im not sure if I can reply with a neg! ahh man...thinking waaay to deep into it...FML

I think my best bet it just to down a few, grow some deutsch courage balls and write summit!!!
No man, you already had the opener before you started FBing..
FB and any face to face conversations you've had were stage 2 (done)

Yes - Way to over thinking it mate.. Just put your first comment (skip the neg part in my opinion) just the part about the lisp etc..

Don't worry about the concentration statement she's made.. it's something or nothing..

But I like my cheesy one to be sure of stage 3!! ha ha

Twenny
ahh right, i get it now

well its done, slapped the AFC out of me and posted this:
"yeah they both have the weird jaw but the economics dude has a slight lisp too which Gerard just doesn't have! :\ woah, your last sentence was impressive, where did you find out how to be soo sassy? I wanna learn too :p haha
how did you find heading back home over the holiday? bet it felt good getting away from the cold here! :D x"

hopefully that should spark the conversation :D
cheers for your help TP...im not sure whether or not these forums have a rep system, but once I find it and get enough rep to give rep, your on my list dude!!! :D


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:39 am 
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No worries mate.. hope it goes ok..

Let us know how it goes!

:)


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 Post subject: update
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:20 am 
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wow...so its been around 4 months since I posted my query, and what a 4 months its been

so an update:
well like I said, she's in my class, so eventually I grew a pair and just talked to her, and we totally clicked, reciprocation of flirting, playful punches and slap on the hands when I playfully negged her...and I thought, wow i'm in

Then I completely retracted for a while, just the odd "hi" now and then, and a the occasional repetition of a few private jokes we had

exams kicked in and university finished, so didn't see her since around Easter, then after our 3rd exam (out of 4), out of nowhere she asked me if I wanted to go to a theme park, her exact words being "a few of us from our class are planning on going to a theme park next week, you wanna come?"....my reply was basically like "eerrrrm, yeah, yeah why not", not trying to look to excited...then I just following on the convo by asking whoelse was off...and she um'ed and ah'd as if she didn't even know which confused me given that she said that "a few of them were already planning on going", so she just named a few names (most of them being her close friends who went home for the summer and didn't even come in the end)

so the day of the trip came, and there was a small group of 4-5 us, on the train to the theme park, out of the blue, came the bombshell when she said (in a group convo, so not directed at me) "blah blah blah, and my boyfriend...."....fuck, right?
I didn't even react to it tbh, deep down I was hurt, but just acted as if I didn't care, carried on flirting and negging
then in the queue for the rides, basically got talking to her again, 1-on-1...."blah blah blah, oh and my boyfriend blah blah blah...", I laughed it off as if I didn't care and acted as if I had no intention of even getting with her...continued flirting and negging, having banter and even some kino...but the weird thing was...she responded to it with playful punches, hair touches and with kino in return....WTF

so right now, i'm like full on depressed, but also not bothered to pursue her because of the effort...most guys would just move on to the next one, but for me, there isn't a 'next one'...but tbh I'm ok chatting to her, and the fact that she has a bf just doesn't exist in my mind

I was also talking to my female SPAM for advice who basically said girls say they have a bf for 3 reasons
1) they have genuinly no interest and use it to ward you off - if that's the case though...you can't fool the body language so she said its most likely not this one
2) they have a bf, but are interested in you and tell you she has a bf so she won't feel guilty
3) shit tests to see how you react


so my question from here...how do I progess...its summer now, so probably not going to see her in person until september, although we're friends on facebook and interactions are alot more comfortable than they were when I first posted my query back in january...so what should I do? if not over summer, then when we return in september?

really sorry for the essay, just wanted to give you as much detail as possible

Thanks in advance!!!


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