Well I posted this in don drapers...and was done with it...but now i'm thinkin about it...like 4 days after cutting all contact

This is what i told him
"Hey there is this girl I knew for years but we weren't close. However I speak to her bff a lot and asked her a time if her friend was talking to anyone. She said no and I said I wanna speak to her and asked her for her number; but she said she'd let the girl I'm into give me it instead...so on campus I was chilling with my friends and she walked past and called me and put the number in my phone...I called her a few days after this but didn't follow up. So a few wks ago her bff said she has a new blackberry and gave me her pin (I didn't even ask or anything...she jus sent it). So after this we spoke every now and then. I told her friend I'd ask her out but didn't immediately and one time she said I keep on saying that but don't do anything...so I asked her out eventually and we went to the cinema last week. Now she paid for both of us...catching me off guard...but I bought the food so I guess it was split even...in the cinema I didn't make any physical contact or even try to. I then walked her to her bus and that was that. "

then i posted this a bit after

"Okay fair enough, cant disagree with what you said. However since I posted something happened...she's on pay as you go for blackberry (BIS) so her service was scheduled to go off tomorrow...so I simply mentioned it and she flirted with me saying she'll get withdrawal symptoms if she doesnt have it and used winking etc emoticons. i simply said lol:p.

Now i know that's nothing super huge lol...but i talk to her bff alot...do u think i should ask her bff about it? i think that's wrong personally lol but just seeking another opinion.

I personally can stop talkin to her quite easily, I just wanna be certain before lol"


Right...now today (like 4 days since I last spoke to her friend) I was talkin to her bff about stuff in general...spoke for 30 mins or so...then she told me to call the girl...get more acquainted with her...all i said was i guess i could....trying not to seem desperate or that i'm under pressure etc (as that wud get back to her friend)...

So what do u guys think? Should I call as the bff says? Or leave it as it is.

You should ignore, or do the opposite, of whatever advice you get from woman as a rule, unless they are a lesbian. Other exceptions are ex-lays and es-girlfriends, but that's on a case by case bases only.

Absolutely DO NOT listen to women who give you advice about other girls.

Remember how our moms would tell us when we were kids that we need to be nice to girls and treat them well? Yeah, I'd like to see a poll on this forum that shows us just exactly how that worked out for those of us who thought our moms knew what they were talking about.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

fair enough, but i mean from the perspective of did she hear something from her bff that would make her tell me so?

i doubt i'll call her tho

The advice was crappy

Freeze out- re-initiate with sexual interest, but don't expect much success from a flubbed chance

move on

Fair enough...i wont be calling lol...as to my opening post i missed a big part...she was the one who brought up going to the cinema...she did it in such a strange way tho lol...asked if i ever heard of a cinema (which was opened since like 2001 lol and is the most popular one where we live)...then for old years she brought up something about going to the cinema too...and her bff wanted us to double date...so idk.

now today...her bff asked me this morning if i called her bff...

No double dates, use her bff to your end not hers.

tell her bff you have been busy with whatever sounds klever
tell her bff you are worried the target is starting to like you too much
tell her bff that you have been dating the other chicks to see what will happen with target

establish credibility, create intrigue, maintain high status. Let these shit tests and interactions help you instead of work against you

Fair enough...now things have changed drastically...but i still have a big area to improve...

she goes to college with me and told me to meet her after her classes were done...but she went into the library and came to me and told me she'll msg me when she's ready or to msg her when i'm ready (not sure which tbh )

okay...so i was near the library for almost 2 hours with my boys and spoke to her bff a bit. i decided to msg the girl and tell her i'm leaving soon...hoping she'd come out...but she was like, asking or telling? then i said telling...not pickin up the hint at the time.

now after this about an hour later she messaged me and say that she'd appreciate it that if she says to meet her that i dont waste her time and how i expect a relationship with us to grow if i am doing that...she then said she is tired of me acting shy and that i have to stop pissing her off...i showed my best friend and we were both like wtf to the 1st part (we both agreed i could be seen as shy).

so i told her i had to go and that i'll see her tomorrow (today) and prove to her that i'm not shy. now it's obvious that she's interested...despite what she said in my earlier posts...plus her bff told one of my friends that we cud as well be a couple.

my plan is to be forward today and use kino! hopefully i'll use it right...any tips?

When you meet this girl, keep your distance and stay cool. This broad is shit testing you when she's saying you have to stop being shy and you're pissing her off when she was the one who was wishy washy about who should contact who. Do not apologize when you see her, and if she brings up how you're pissing her off, do not react emotionally. Deflect any kind of comments about your personality. If you're a shy person with the occasional bursts of confidence, then she will have to either take it or leave it. She's trying to make you jump through her hoops and you don't want to to that. It sounds like she's trying to draw out a "I'm sorry" from you when you didn't do anything wrong. Squash that shit test and move forward so you can start to kino with her.


You don't need to prove ANYTHING to her. Stop thinking you need to gain her approval and start thinking she needs to gain YOURS. I think there are some threads on the forum about getting women to jump through your hoops. Learn them and use them on her.
You focus way too much on what her friends feel/think/say. Yes, her friends can influence her to an extent. But when it comes down to it, she will make the decision whether she'll advance with you or not based on her own opinion of you.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

Thanks mate. Okay fair enough; I cant disagree with u to be honest.

I didnt see her since that day...but now we're going to the beach on saturday evening...i said lets go out and she suggested there...

her friend told me i need to stop wasting time or else i'll end up finishing last. i guess its time to make that move this weekend...date #2 is on.

any tips? kino for sure...will be in the sea and on the beach in the evening/night...near the beach has a fast food restaurant as well as a mini park so...beach, eat, play - lightened mood...

executing properly is a must. so folks any advice?

Does the beach have a boardwalk? Play with her in some arcade games, play one on one in those competitive games where you can win prizes (only do this if you know you're good at this, otherwise you'll look like a chump pumping money into a machine and not getting results). One of my favorite things to do is to not tell her I'm going to win her a prize and play those crane games. Then when I win something I give it to her. Then keep going from one machine to another and keep winning prizes to the point where both her arms are full of toys and stuffed animals lol. People will look at you like you're the man, and she'll love it despite a little embarrassment of having her hands full.

When you're on the beach, have a playful conversation while splashing water on her and kicking sand at her legs. Remind her what it feels like to be a little girl again. She'll be putty in no time.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

Yeah there is a boardwalk right next to the beach (20-25min walk easily). She'll probably want to go into the sea as well...would play around in there for sure lol.

Not sure if that arcade game method can work at the beach we're goin to since the only arcade place i can think of is about 15 mins walk in the other direction from the boardwalk...but it sounds like a good plan.

Yeah i'll definitely try to remind her of what it feels like to be a little girl...just gotta make sure we both have fun.

Alrighty we didnt actually go (she asked to postpone)...so a few days later we spoke on the phone and busted each others balls alottt (50 min convo - laced with teasing). when i told her i'd be on campus the day after she stressed to make sure that i see her...said it several times (each time excitedly) and even when i ended the convo she said dont forget to call her when i reached

i got up late and told her i'd be late (got there around 1pm)...so she called and said her cell was dying so she'd use someone else's phone and contact me when she was free...she did just that (i found out while holding her hand that she wrote my number on her hand lol)...anyhow...

we went in a secluded area and i tried to use kino, she touched me at points as well but we were side by side and sitting on a ledge so it wasnt super easy to get close to her...my mistake for choosing that spot in the 1st place...anyhow

we spoke about relationships but didnt bring up any between us...i dunno y i stalled...after her bff came and that was good cause she spoke alot of crap lol...

i decided i'd leave and they decided to follow suit...but while leaving her bff teased to us "kissy kissy"...i didnt do anything lol...i shud have at least kissed her on her cheek.

what do u guys think? also...shud i ask her out for this weekend? or shud i just wait til next week to see her at school?

btw she said she didnt have a bf in years...she's a very good looking girl...which is strange...she said one day she'd be 110% into something then the next be off of it...hmmm...

tips?

How did you respond to her postponing the date and what was her reason?

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.