this just isnt workin. i dont know what to say when im talking to girls in my class. my mind is just blank. no matter how hard i think i cant think of anything to say. thers this girl at my locker that i want to attract, but i dont know how to flirt or tease or make her laugh. i just have these boring conversations and shes shut me down twice when i try to walk her somewhere. I cant even get a number. My self esteem has takin a hit and im thinkin about just giving up. I try my best but it just aint wokrin

Are all your conversations with your friends boring and substanceless? I doubt it. I don't know you man, but giving up is the worst way to fail.

You have to convince yourself first that girls (Even hot ones, whoa!) aren't special, they're not goddesses, they do not rule your world, and you can get along without them. If you convince yourself you need a hot woman, and even worse, that you will never have one... you are setting a needy outlook for yourself. This is always going to show.

Bud, start slow. The biggest part is Approach Anxiety. Talk to girls you think aren't cute. If you can do that, start just saying hi to cute girls. Then start asking them for directions. If you get nervous go ahead and break away so you don't beat yourself up later. Baby steps man, it's exactly how I started. I'm not a master by ANY means, but I've gotten over my AA.

Don't use a canned routine you find on the internet. But you can use a canned routine you create for yourself. Think of a story that has happened to you that was interesting. Nothing wrong with telling that one to multiple people. If you find yourself comfortable after that, keep going with your natural game!

It's not suppose to work right away. Thomas Edison f*cked up a thousand time before he found the lightblub. I'm pretty sure you haven't f*cked up more than 10.


This is VERY common. Writers specifically experience this. An exercise to help with this is to pick a BROAD THEME(Uniververse, Life, Love, etc...) and just write non-stop for 20 minutes. Don't check grammar, don't check style, nothing, just WRITE...Do this for a week and I promise you will not have any troubles with that.
Go to the Routine section in this forum. Read some threads there. Their is plenty of advice regarding this. More specifically, I recommend learning about people's body language. A great book for this is "What EVERY BODY is saying" by Joe Novarro. Easy read for learning simple body language.
People who try their best, NEVER say it ain't working. I'm not saying try harder, just try differently. Alber Einstein said that an insane person, is someone who keeps doing the same thing, and expects different results.

Good luck bro,

Samex

Thanks both of you.. I will give it another try

dress up, shower, brush your teeth and your tongue with toothpaste, use mouthwash for a minute, trim your nose hair, get a hair cut, get your eye brows and your neck hair waxed (or at least trimmed) and go to ALL the clubs in your college. just go there and be present. after a few months of doing this you will be a different person. no matter how difficult it is do it. also take swing dance classes and go out swing dancing. flirt with the girls you dance by giving them a compliment and smiling. your social skills will shoot up and you will be a lot more confident and more successful. get your depression and negative thinking treated by a psychotherapist too. and go to the gym. get a job. problems solved!

I know we all feel like quitting things at times, but a hint of success goes miles. You have talked to this girl a couple of times and that is some progress. Try setting goals for yourself. When you are out for the day set a goal to talk to say 3 girls. Even if it is HI, and how are things with you? Count that and see if the convo goes anywhere from there that you can build on.

Make a goal achievable...Achieve it, and then make a bigger goal. Press on, and don't give up.