Alcohol and social inhibitions



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:39 pm 
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Every time I go out to the bars, what I've found is, depending on the environment, it can be really weird being the sober guy. It TOTALLY depends on the social environment though.

For example, if I'm at a bar with relatively non-loud music, the kind where conversation is easy without the need to yell, as long as there isn't a group of drunk guys yelling and carrying on, I'm ok being totally sober or only having a beer or two. I find that 2 to 3 beers is good for my conversation. It somehow lowers inhibitions, it makes opening sets easier. It's a good tool if used properly. However, too much can really hurt your game (and your weight, liver, kidneys, job, DWI's etc).

However, if I'm at a bar where there's a mixed set with a group of very loud drunk guys carrying on and generally being the center of attention, I HATE being totally sober in that environment. It's like, if you try to open their set, even though there are males in the set, unless you REALLY have something in common with one of them and it comes up quickly after opening, you are pretty much left standing there being the weirdo with the low energy level who wants to be a part of their group. But if this drunk, loud mixed set is in the bar, all other sets are low value, including you. You need to be a part of this group because these guys are the alpha males in this place. They're the ones who aren't afraid of attention and women are drawn to that, especially if this is a mixed set.

There's a certain energy level that exists within each set. You always want to bring a slightly higher energy level to any set you open. But not too much higher. Just slightly higher. So if I'm sober (or close to it), it's tough to open sets in a place where there's a group of guys being louder than shit and carrying on, having a great time. If you want to open their set, you need a slightly higher energy level than what they're already at...impossible (for me) if sober.

I sarge alone most of the time and approaching the drunk, loud guys when you're sober (or close to it) has never really worked very well. But if you approach and then buy a round of Patron shots, for example, you can often times become a part of the group...your energy level increases too and you're buying so they like you. But if you stay sober, there's almost no way to converse with them in normal conversation. They're too drunk to carry conversation. They're yelling, high fiving, and just carrying on, having a good time.

So what do other PUA's do in regards to alcohol? A beer or two? None? Only heavy drinking when you encounter the set described above? What's the advice on alcohol?

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 Post subject: Good Advice
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:46 pm 
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That's good advice. As a general rule of thumb I don't drink when I'm out in the field. And drinking is definately not a way to deal with Approach Anxiety. However, a few drinks can help you be social in certain enviroments. A lot of times I'll get a coke or redbull in a glass. Coke as far as they know is jack and coke, redbull looks like beer in a glass. :)

Again good advice!

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:52 pm 
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Thanks, but I don't think there's any advice in what I wrote above.

I'm seeking advice on how to deal with an environment where there's clearly a group with a MUCH higher energy level in the bar getting all the attention?

Leave the place and go elsewhere?

Join their group sober? Join their group and buy a round of shots?

What do you do?

From experience, being in a group with a markedly lower energy level is usually bad.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:03 pm 
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I don't buy rounds of shots unless it were within my close social circle. Most drunk guys are doing your job for you actually, which is DLVing themselves so you can move right in. You should be able to control your energy level so that you can blend in. Does that mean you have to be loud and obnoxious? No, but you can find a happy medium to where you are entertaining and liked.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:15 pm 
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Usually drinking in the field is bad but I doubt a beer or 2 is bad. If your a lightweight then maybe just one. Alcohol disables you from thinking clearly so thats why we usually dont drink.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:19 pm 
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keep away from stimulants like cafeine and taurine in coke and red bull. they increase your anxiety, stress and impulses to response stimuli without thinking through what you're doing/saying. drink tonic and say its gin and tonic.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:46 pm 
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Quote:
keep away from stimulants like cafeine and taurine in coke and red bull. they increase your anxiety, stress and impulses to response stimuli without thinking through what you're doing/saying. drink tonic and say its gin and tonic.
You got a point! What about cocaine?!? I'm joking I don't endorse drug usage. It does make you jumpy and quick to react, which is why I smoke!

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:54 pm 
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don't smoke marijuana either, that'll kill your sponteneity. Cigarettes are barely even ok unless you're picking up smokers


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:56 pm 
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Okay that was a bad joke. I don't smoke cigarettes when I'm in the field and I don't drink. Just all around bad ideas for various reasons.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:16 pm 
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hm. funny


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:57 pm 
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ive found that drinking actually helps me out alot in the field.... you just got to learn to control it... ive hooked up with girls before being totally drunk... i just become really cocky and funny and outgoing, enthusiastic but i also know how to control it just find that happy medium..ive learned to stop being a dumbass when im drunk and learned to control my self... definitely space out your drinking maybe take a shot and then sip on a beer or three and that will get you going.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:30 pm 
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you've been lucky thats all. If you fuck up sober you can correct yourselff, drunk you just keep digging yourself that sweet little hole.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:53 am 
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Damn thats one cardinal sin I break all the time. My approach anxiety with day game is fine but for some reason if I'm at a bar or a club and I haven't had a drink or two I get it crazy bad.

Not to mention there's just something lame about being with a bunch of drunks if I'm not taking part in the debauchery.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 2:44 pm 
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++++you've been lucky thats all++++

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:05 pm 
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++++you've been lucky thats all++++

The harder you work, the luckier you get.
The more you drink, the more it shrinks.


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