I met a girl last Friday from online, and I cant stop thinking about her so instead of reverting to the AFC that part of me desperately wants, I am posting this as a distraction as I need advice on where to go next. It is rare that I find a girl that I actually like so want to land on the more serious relationship side of the fence.

First impression cute curves, ass – perfect as not over the top glamarous and yet cute to be proud to be on my arm

Got there late, and she was 20 mins early. Found her and we walked round the markets, had a good rapport from the start and especially a good confident approach. "You are tall." I think we have a good height together arm around, as we are both near 6ft. (Should have walked slower like the whole world was moving too fast, and it was just the two of us.) Picked out some hats and she played along.

Went for a drink at the bar with live music very loud not very romantic, found a quiet place on the upstairs level overlooking the markets. Talked about family and school, naughty girl at back of class questioning curriculum and god.

Got her two cameras out (I told her to bring something interesting) looked through photos of her at Hawaii, when she was 16 and a bit bigger and her ex bf and family. Lost her grandmas ring seemed sad, so gave her a half hug. Would want to take her out dancing, roadtrips, exciting adventures not just watching DVDs and Gossip Girl each night.

Got up to leave, walked over along the river. Held hands for a bit but then I said her hands were sweaty and pushed away. (Can emphasise more push and pull.) Tried on her glasses, looked embarrassed and excited when I said I was going to ask someone their opinion. Turned round to couple who agreed I look feminine. (Died down a bit immediately after, have to keep it lively and lead the way as she was shocked.)

Walked down to a lookout on the river, 3 other couples sitting down, one giving a guided tour to asian girl so we were the fun couple. Have you ever done a personality test, ran the cube. Very nervous to shut eyes, I wont kiss you don’t worry. Played with hand stroking fingers. Small cube, ladder, storm and strong white horse. Netball, can you dance? Did dance at school, stand up lets see, she refused to dance. Walked away without saying anything and didn’t look back – was tough as couldn’t hear her coming.

I think she waited a while for me to cave in and then ran to catch up. I give the claw and lean in but she says she is not that touchy feely with someone she just met. Explained how I am with everyone. (Should have emphasised so don’t think your special) Took her camera and took some photos. Walked over to the grass bank by the pool. I lie down, she sits up. We chat for a bit and I pull her back but she doesn’t want to. A bit later she let me pull her back on to my arm, don’t worry no kissing, that’s all you get.

Looked up at a star tried to work out if it was moving or a satellite. Suddenly felt more relaxed and she definitely felt more relaxing, laughing and opening up. Bright moon, camping, family split up, airplanes – lesson flying a Cessna, like WW2 era fighter pilots, dog names, cranky if not cuddled dog like owners. She looked over but got nervous when we looked at each other from so close and quickly looked away.

I am getting too relaxed lets go on an adventure. She says she has an hour left on her car parking, we walk along restaurants but nothing much happening. I say no lets go to my suburb, they have a music café, its 5 minutes down the road. Is it a field? Is it a paddock? You can drive there them you don’t have to pay for parking. Gave her address for her GPS.

She calls me as she drives past I am on Jane Street – take next left can I park on yellow line? Can you come park the car for me. (Classic be a man for me) I get in and give her directions to the street we stop and I ask if she wants me to park it for her. She looks nervous as I reverse park but still good to be manly and show confidence.

She said she wants a new bright green ford focus, I said oh no. She said why? Why? Eventually i explained that was exactly what my ex-gf bought (which it was!) then she said I am better than your ex-gf. And went on to talk about how she would really like one of the new mustangs.

Walked to musik café had some trouble finding it, went in got a drink sat at bar stool, screaming rock she was not impressed. Does not like long hair. Walked out to the courtyard bogans playing pool smashed glasses very wild west. Lots of kino lower back, we will be safe but still no close cuddles.

Finished drink went over to dancing class – everyone dancing to different songs classical style lots of twirls etc. Would you like to have a go? Twenty seconds? No. Probably a good thing as I cant dance or teach any steps. She said "you can go by yourself," but i replied "then I would have to dance with someone else."

As we walk out leaving she says I don’t think Im your type of woman. Oh your very wrong, you are very wrong. (WISH I had stopped and said against window you look beautiful and kiss but probably good I didn’t as too early.)

Walked down other way but nothing much on, so I walked back to my place. I had pointed it out earlier and she followed me walking and didn’t offer any resistance. I didnt say anything just walked there. I knew I didnt have enough comfort only 3 hours built but we had talked about youtube so i wanted to show her some videos. We walk in and i close the door, she asks to keep it open but i dont supplicate, as I didnt attempt to escalate hopefully she feels more trusting in future.

We watched a few videos, chatted a bit and then she said she should probably leave. Ended on a bit of a low point, walked back to her car, gave her a hug and chatted for a bit. Put her arms around my neck as I know she likes cuddles and I accidently found out that it is a classic move for initiating a kiss close. I said bye hugged her and she pulled away, do i get a kiss? Meaning to kiss her on both cheeks but she kissed me on lips and got in car.

Frustrating ending as last impression not her desiring me?

Questions:
How do you think she views me?
I plan to call on Tuesday after meeting last Friday, bring up a bit of callback humour and then arrange the day 2. Good idea?
Any suggestions on what you guys do on Day 2/3/4 something interesting and unique? Or just go to the park and spend that close time together building comfort

hey 1st of all.. congratulations.... there are a few things i can point out here but 1st ask yourself what you think u cud have done better and what u did wrong.. u did a few things right!!!
its importnat for you to critisice yourself and i wanna know What you think u went wrong then so i can tell u if ur were right or wrong.

VERY IMPORTANT: learn from this date, never such thing as a bad day 2,, its just a learning experience.. i had a terrible day 2 and i was gonna post it on here but i found myself and knew were i went wrong.. But nonethless congrats man! keep up the awsome work...

Please post what happens next in this thread about getting the second date! its interesting with your writing style too haha

IMO it was a little bit excessive, you done a shit load of things... But theres nothing really wrong with that. You sound very over the top, but I guess thats just your personality? as long as you are congruent with who you are thats fine.

I think your biggest hurdle will be the next date. IMO she showed some signs that she may flake after the first date, although she showed a lots of indicators that she will stay around... So we will have to see!

Maybe on the second date just stick to a couple of simple activities... So its not all the bouncing around like the first date.... and you will have more of a chance to make an intimate connection and start seducing her properly.

good luck

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

Hey guys thanks for the feedback so far!

To Juice man: Thanks for the advice, just writing this out I found that I reviewed a lot of what I did both good and bad, so it has worked out pretty useful!

What I could have done better, is possibly end the date at the high point probably lying on the grass looking at the sky. I found out my natural game comes out the most at this point. Although I find it hard to end a date at the right point and it is usually when she says she has to go. Any tips on this?

I started as complete AFC and then found game and in retrospect went to far into trying to be PUA and analysing everything and now I am finding that balance between the confidence of game and my personality.

What I did wrong, was put too much emphasis on dancing, I don't even dance but it is something I want to learn this year and I would like to learn with a girl so I think it was just in my head on the night. Also I repeatedly said 'don't worry I am not going to kiss you.' Although I said it confidently, as a phrase that probably isnt the most positive wording, as it suggests that she has something to worry about! Also at the end getting the kiss was no reward as it wasn't an in the moment kiss so wasnt really going to build any positive comfort.

To Breaking Bad: Thanks for the motivation, I will definitely post what happens next. I apologise for any bits in the writing style that dont make any sense (I know there are a few) but i was writing it out pretty brief and wasnt planning to post it anywhere but decided a less biased point of view can often be a lot clearer.

Normally I wouldn't do so many things but I wanted to put into practice the idea of going to a few different places so that she feels like she has known me longer than she has rather than sitting in a bar for 4 hours which was the rough length of the date. And it gave me a chance to lead the way and be a man about where we were going and what we were doing.

On the other hand I wouldnt describe my personality as crazy or over the top so but I am beginning to experiment with creating little mini adventures on dates, that become memorable as fun experiences. Due to my eagerness for the date to go well, I kind of shot myself in the foot because as you suggested she may have noticed small incongruences or just thought that this guy has confidence but is too out there for me to have a relationship with.

Having said that the reason I am experimenting with this style is because I want to enjoy my life and live these adventures so when my life flashes before my eyes i have something entertaining to watch. I hope my girlfriend will be a big part of my life so if she doesnt feel that same fun vibe then maybe it wasn't meant to be!

I will take your advice on keeping the second date simple and intimate. Although any suggestions for this would be great. I am thinking going to the local botanic gardens or park and spending some simple time together. Although there is also a planetarium at the botanic gardens that is meant to be good... Any more suggestions?

Pretty bad honestly. You set up the date perfectly, well maybe a bit too many venues, but you failed to escalate and didn't fclose. She probably thinks you are a weak nice guy now aka not her type.

To Domr: Thanks for the advice but if my aim was to get a SNL then I agree i set up the date well and then failed by not escalating.

But I never had it in my mind for a SNL, it might not have come across when I wrote it out but there wasn't enough response from the kino I was giving her for any more escalation. Hopefully the seduction can come once I build more comfort on the second or third date!

I wouldnt listen to this!

since when Is F-closing the only goal??

It is important to always sorta keep it tuned sexually/seductive or you will risk being labelled as just a friend, but that has nothing to do with simply trying to just get laid like Domr said.

Waiting can create a great tension - as long as you can keep the relationship sexually tuned.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

@Breaking Bad, reread my post. No where did I say it was the ONLY goal.

It almost sounds to me like both you and the OP have the madonna-whore complex.

A "good" date is one where you make both an emotional AND sexual connections. Just reading the original post it seems like OP didn't even have sex on his mind. CORRECTION reading his replay he had relationship on his mind BEFORE sex. I revise my original point, it's not that he failed at escalating, he just didn't try, didn't have the desire. He didn't view this women as a sexual create that wants to get satisfied.

I disagree Dormr but as an update, I called her around 7pm last night but she didnt pick up, I had something planned to leave a quick voicemail message but she doesnt have voicemail! So I text her what I planned to say and left it brief with a bit of call back humour.

So far I haven't heard anything back so there is nothing else to do but keep gaming other women, even though its Wednesday I am looking forward to this Friday/Saturday, sarging night game in the city!

Might post a field report if I get enough new experiences! Otherwise I will update this thread once I hear back...

I have to agree with Domr. You don't have to lay her on the first night, but she's not going feel attraction if you don't stimulate her emotionally and sexually like he said. I could be wrong just from the wording you used in your post, but I didn't get the vibe that she was into you. And what the heck are you doing looking at pictures of her ex with her for? Bad move dude. Sounds like she gave you a lot of shit tests and you complied to them like letting her reminisce over an old flame. Stop putting her on a pedestal. Take a step back and view her from a different angle. You'll have more material for your game if you take notice of her good qualities AND bad qualities.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

You said her palms are sweaty?? This is not a push/pull technique. This is what we call a sniper neg. You say this when a bitch shield is high and you want to lower it. Why the hell would you insult your girl if you had good rapport? Never punish for good behavior. You guys were holding hands and you insulted her. When you punish for her trying to build rapport with you and a connection...you create negative compliance. Why did you think she didn't got up and dance with you? Dancing with you is a really small hoop..usually if you're on a day 2..she is suppose to have encough comfort towards you to dance with you. But becase you punish for good behavior... that gives you negative compliance. I think you understnad what I'm saying here.

She said: "I'm not your type of women" You reacted wrong in my opinion. This was a shit-test. This is called frame changing. Her frame is that she's not for you..your frame is that she's perfect for you. Don't try to argument this with her but try making your frame = to her. Multiple ways of doing that. One of the way is by doing this.

HB: "I'm not your type of woman"

PUA: "You know maybe you're right you're not my type.. but we just met. You can't really say that we'll have to see how it goes" - something like this. What you do here is called frame transformation. You put an event in the future "we'll see how it goes" and you try with that event to make both your frame and hers be the same. That way..you're not disagreeing with her but you agree with what she is saying (same frames). I know it's technical..but I used some of this shit in field and it's unbelievable! (credit: AFC Adam)

I have to agree with Vietman100 all the way. Never talk about exs and all that stuff. You also have to spark attraction man...the ability to sexually escalate is very important. In like 3 hours of comfort..you should already at least kissed her once. I usually kiss my targets after 25 min of meeting them..it's really important in my opinion. Show her you go after what you want!

Hope I helped and good luck!

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Greatness is never borned

I just read this. I agree with Domr all the way. It makes a lot of sense that she's flaking you it's not a surprise to me. My advice to you is to watch out for these key points:

- Always kiss the soonest as possible
- Kino, kino and practice seeing when it is the right time to kino
- Be more agressive - go after what you want (the ability to sexually escalate is very attractive to any girl)
- Don't listen to your emotions..they just try to fuck you up..stop putting so much importance on one girl because you just witnessed how things turn up when you're not focusing anymore

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Greatness is never borned

I appreciate all the input guys but I think some of you have a different style to me. If you can pull it off then fast seduction is great but how many times does it lead to one night of great sex, then buyers remorse on her part for putting out and no more. Great if you want the chase and a SNL but not for a relationship.

Also with regards to the photos of her ex. I didnt make it clear in the original post but we were cuddled up close looking at photos of her in a bikini in Hawaii. She has been there five times and the last one was with her ex-bf so when she showed me some of the places we talked about he came up a couple of times. She quickly tried to hide it and keep going. I didnt discuss it and it didnt phase me, the only reason I mentioned it was because it is always interesting to see old partners even of girls that you are not interested in to see if they date within their league etc. I never talk about exes and if I knew her ex was in the photos i would have swapped tact, as it happened we started talking about other things naturally and quickly after.

My personal style is not the fast seduction 'kiss as soon as possible'. I am sure this can work great in a club where you want to sexually escalate aggressively but delaying the kiss when she really wants it creates a lot of sexual tension that is powerful stuff and in my opinion can then be used to greater effect to bend to your will.



However I really appreciate the advice on frame control from Valentyn. Putting an event in the future to make both frames align sounds good. My only problem is looking back and analysing a conversation this is easy, but when you are in it you are more just in the flow but I guess it comes more naturally with practice.
Although as a technical point wouldnt my changing to her frame become supplication? Eg just trying to agree with everything she says. I quite enjoy the moments on a date when you disagree it creates a healthy playful tension.

Looking back i think if i ended the date at the first location then she would have been excited to see me again. But we both drove to my home suburb from the first location in our own cars. I thought this was a good demonstration that she had some interest as she bounced with me when she could have just gone home but it turned out the home suburb location didnt have the same vibe and that this down vibe was the last thing that was on her memory when she left.

I have called her once and sent a quick text straight after the call. I havent heard back since. I am not sure where to go from here, might send her a re-engaging type text next week?

I am out tonight (my aim is ten approaches, will update with the number of successes) and I have another date with new women on monday and wednesday so am going to perfect my 'letting her chase me' a bit more by ending the date on a high, escalating sexually to create tension, but also leaving her wanting a bit more so not giving her the kiss keeps her guessing and up for the second date. Where I can then amp up the sexual tension more and then break it with a passionate kiss in my home suburb and bounce to my place for the perfect night and a strong fun foundation to build a relationship if I find the right girl.

Thanks again for all the advice, keep gaming!

I didn't say to always agree with what she is saying. But that line that she said to you..it was really important to have a great response..it was a shit test. I'll give you an example of what happened to a girl I closed 2 weeks ago. I kissed her and all..we were dancing on the dancefloor and it was my day 2 with her. She then said out of nowhere

HB: "How many girls have you slept with?..I think it's like 20!"

*Her frame of me was that I was a player or that I would play her like any other girl* Now I had to change that immediately

PUA: "Listen I'm not saying girls don't like me..I usually get hit on a lot...but I'm a guy with standards..I do not sleep with any girl just because she's attracted to me"

Now her frame = mine which = great rapport

That line alone sealed the deal with her. That's frame amplification.. anyway these shit-tests are important and watch out for them!

Listen, I'll be honest with you by experience here and I tried different stuff. Do not wait a day 3 to kiss man..it just shows you're afraid. Did you know that kissing is actually comfort building?? Yes my friend. Kissing should not be to get her aroused. It builds comfort and a great connection. Kissing with tongue and being aroused that's in bed..but I'm telling you..kiss the soonest as possible! Or at least on a day 2 man..don't wait on a day 3 you will fall in the friends zone or she will think you don't have balls and will flake you. If you dont believe me you'll see it for yourself. And that's even for girlfriends I'm not talking about same night lays here. Hope I helped a bit! Peace!

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Greatness is never borned

This is great! learning something from it.

its what I suggested on my first reply: But now you realised it yourself too. So it will sink in.

Yea so it turns out she flaked... oh well. It was still successful for you, because of what you can now take out of it.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he