After last week's incident (abrupt/out of context sexual txt from my girl) I decided to check her phone last night. I only had a couple of minutes, so first thing I checked was for names of men on her txt message history. Nothing.

I then checked her history with this lesbian friend of hers, and I read the following txt:

"Mr. Whatever and I had a talk about being exclusive today. I told him I wasn't sure, but I might change my mind if he asks again. He's a catch."

First, I'm not sure how I feel about being "a catch". Isn't that the sort of things women say about their beta boyfriends? Or is "being a catch" means you are the complete package?

Second, what about this Mr. Whatever nickname? Is this whore disrespecting me in front of her friends?

I remember Carrie from S&TC called her man Mr. Big, but there's a huge difference between Mr. Big & Mr. Whatever.

How would you feel about being called Mr. Whatever and what would you do about it? Am I overreacting? I feel like raping this fucking whore.

I don't know you, but I get the impression that you need much work man. Don't go through your girls phone. Its creepy. You seem very uncomfortable in your own skin. Work on this. I can't tell you exactly what you need, but I will say this. This Mr. Big you speak of would probably never do what you just did. It is a violation of her privacy and you have driven her to all of this and will only drive her further away with more immature behavior. Take this with a grain of salt, but I suggest that you let this one go, go work on yourself first. be the best me that you can. Don't pursue another girl until you are comfortable with who you are.

You need to read the "Is she being unfaithful" thread to understand why I did this.

I don't care if she is faithful or not. You are acting very beta and invading her privacy. Why would any girl want to be around you? Its as bad as reading a girls diary or rummaging through her purse. You are in the wrong. If you want her to be faithful you should be more manly and maybe she will want to stay with you. As it stands I believe that you have lost this battle. Go work on yourself.

I don't want to seem mean and I wish you the best of luck, but you are acting anything but PUA.

"Mr. Whatever" suggests indifference towards you.

Her saying "you're a catch" is one thing, but being ambiguous about where she stands with this so-called catch is another; if she truly found you to be a catch (for her), she'd jump into your lap at the mere suggestion of being in a committed relationship.

Basically.

The fact he's doing this smacks of insecurity - does he have reason to distrust her? If so, is she the one to be getting involved with? Or, is this behavior a symptoms of his own attachment issues? Or both...

how is the sex?

Sex is nasty. I call her a whore, I lick her asshole, fuck her up the ass, choke her, spank her super hard, grab her by her hair, I tell her her pussy is mine, I tell her her ass is mine, I spit on her pussy and asshole, I fuck her in public places, I finger fuck her and lick her asshole at the same time, I come all over her face.

do you give her a high-five after all of that? if not then there is your problem.

Could the Mr. Whatever title have been her friend's idea, and then the name stuck and that's why she still refers to me that way? Like one day her lesbian friend asks her:

Lesbo: how's that stud bf of yours?
Disrespectful whore: Whatever

Then via txt:

Lesbo: Are you going out with Mr. Whatever tonight?

then on another day

Lesbo: What did Mr. Whatever get you for Xmas?

Finally

Disrespectful whore: Mr. Whatever and I had a talk about being exclusive today. I told him I wasn't sure, but I might change my mind if he asks again. He's a catch.

Still, I don't know if I should be pissed at her because of this or if I'm overreacting. Problem is, I have no way of expressing this since I had no business checking her phone in the first place.

Besides indifference, does it show disrespect or is this the sort of thing women do?

lol you're so fucking AFC. Lame.

dude, expressing to her in any way that you went through her phone will be committing relationship suicide. don't be so insecure.

You should never go through someones phone.

Also, if you are concerned enough that she's "unfaithful" it's not exactly wise to seek an exclusive relationship with her now is it?

I say "unfaithful" because if you're not already in an exclusive relationship, she's hardly being unfaithful now is she?

You can use this situation to your advantage. She didn't accept exclusivity, which means it's impossible for you to be "unfaithful". Game other people as well, hell, it's not exclusive so why not? Who knows, you might meet someone better or cause her to demand exclusivity from fear of losing you. Either way it's fine.

You probably asked her for a committed relationship too soon. It's hard to get the timing right, I recently made that mistake myself. The best advice I received was to avoid drawing official lines of "relationship", rather to just drift into a relationship naturally.

Out of interest are you planning on talking to her about exclusivity again?

Absolutely not.

Anyone else have an opinion regarding the title Mr. Whatever? Is it disrespectful or is that the way women talk among each other?

For example, I tell my friends she's a nut job, and refer to her as Mrs. Problematic.

You worry about the silliest things. First off, why are you worried about how she thinks of you? You treat her like a whore. Are you going to be absolutely astonished when she acts like one?


Calling you Mr. Whatever isn't disrespectful. She is talking about you to her female friend and calls you that because she doesn't know what to call you.


You aren't her boyfriend.

You aren't just her friend.

It's her way to define the relationship...as in:

"It's not exclusive, but its not fuck buddies, its whatever you call it"

Honestly, I wouldn't even know what to call you were I in her shoes.

Mr. Run-the-other-way?