i dont know, a lot of these just seem like your trying to hard to gain attention. Them bitches like spontaneous, random, different but not retarded. I dunno i looked over like 8 pages of this, and they all seem so to much effortish. (if thats a word)

I get more likes screaming the word "hooorrrchhhhaatttaa" and tagging myself at a mexican place then i would with any of these :-/

^absolutely yes.
bahaha btw im loving your screename

im not sure if this is DHV but its funny as hell.

When a girl asks "Why when we sleep with whoever we want, we're sluts; But when a guy does it, its okay?" Reply with "Compare to a lock and key. A key that can fit any lock is a master key, a lock that any key can fit in is just a shitty lock."

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New to the game, eager to learn.

I usualy add an amusing video ive seen recently or something with a querky comment to go with.. Seems to get good attention most of the time

I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

I got refused a job the other day. Apparently putting gang bang on your application isn't proof of teamwork!

Very funny!
Too bad English is not my motherlanguage and most of my fb friends speak dutch. Maybe I'll post them in Dutch or maybe in English but I think most people won't get it. If I translate them, they're not so funny anymore.

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-"We can't choose what cards we get, but we can change the way we play them." Randy Pausch

Dear Microsoft word, I’m pretty sure I spelled my name correctly.
530 friends 28 likes in a hour and still counting! This shit is gold!

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

I translate comics into my native language from smbc-comics.com, nedroid.com, amazingsuperpowers.com, etc. Since they are in english, my friends have never seen them. All my wall photos are funny pics and comics. Pretty successful with them.

Help! I tried the Brunettes> Blondes status and got a few likes but this hot blonde on my friends list seemed mad about this and she commented "Hey! screw you"
how should I respond? or ignore her?

say: " That's one of the reasons"

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

just done "has had enough of girls that are only beautiful on the outside" got a shi tload of responses from HB8s and above , but then again thats all i have on my facebook , and theyre still the lucky ones

Great thread and very important topic. I'll try out some of what's been said and report back with my results.

This is gold.. Huge likes for me:

"speaking to fat birds in the gym as an investment for the future....."

I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning back on your chair a little too far.

Don't text me while I'm texting you, now I have to change my text.

If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO YOU!?!?!'

When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Im Sure that’s not right ?

'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...

Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're only doing it for attention and you'll be back in a day.

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Stylelife Academy Intern