alright cool, got ya! Will be mindful of not falling into a routine! Thanks

And the plot thickens! Well only slightly... She's staying in a share house with a friend of hers and a couple of other small random groups. The other night they were sitting around getting to know some of the other people there and she mentioned that she had a bf. Apparently then two of the guys laughed at her and told her she was stupid for leaving for a couple of months while she has a bf back home and that there is no way I wouldn't be hooking up with other chicks while she's gone. She said that I wasn't like that and that she knew I wouldn't but apparently the guys kept telling her it wasn't going to work and that after a few weeks I'd forget about her and that if I really cared about her I'd be there with her.

She called me the day after this and asked me if I still thought I'd be able to wait for her for the few months cause she said she'd be distraught if anything happened. I reassured her, told her I'd still wait and am not like the sort of guy to do stuff behind her back. I also told her that the guys were obviously just trying to mess with her head cause they want to get with her, she agreed and said she thought I was right but they just made her paranoid cause they made her feel stupid for thinking I'd wait. I told her not to doubt my feelings for her the next time those guys tried that game with her. She said she felt heaps better after talking to me.

Was this the best way to go about diffusing the situation? I know these guys will be hitting on her for as long as they are staying there and trying to tear our relationship down and make her doubt me. How do you think I should best deal with this in the future? Just reassure her? These guys are a little worrying just cause they have such a great chance to game her over a period of several weeks, but I think the fact that they are dissing the bf (me) rather than talking me up and making her subconsciously pick out my flaws herself shows that they are not exactly awesome at pick up.

would love your advice here mack you've been really helpful so far

hey,

sorry i missed this.

keep going what you are doing.

you've just gotta be on your a-game.

calm, cool, collected, and

UNFAZED

UNFAZED

UNFAZED

when she says "this guy said this"

just laugh, and say "you know i love you, baby"

and then continue gaming her with aforementioned techniques

also, if you can SUBTLY mirror her situation, that would be good.

what i mean by that is be in a setting where you have potential female suitors around you, who may or may not be interested, but probably are.

did i mention subtly.

this will remind her that if she chooses to (at best) attempt to make you jealous or (at worst) actually do something wrong or cheat,

that you have opportunities to do the same thing.

i don't like these kinds of jedi mind tricks, but they are necessary when dealing with women. (which is why i avoid relationships in general, lol)

anyway, did i mention SUBTLY on that?

this is a powerful weapon (jealousy), it is akin to a nuclear weapon.

if you deliver it wrong, shit goes bad, real bad.

if you deliver it right, it is a great deterrent against bad behavior.

just ask the soviets...

if the J-bomb (jealousy) is delivered in what appears to be a contrived fashion, she will call your bluff and fight fire with fire.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Thanks heaps for the input Mack you're a champion!

I totally agree with mirroring her situation but subtly! I can do this easily, as I have a fair few female friends, I think it'll work well

She has since told me that one of the guys told her the other night when they were sitting around at dinner "you're going to be a challenge cause you'll have a bf, but I'll get you" she told him it wasn't going to happen. Still this is worrying, I'd rather they be nerdy little freaks with no game at all I guess I can't do anything about this sort of thing except act like I don't care??? At least she's telling me about all this stuff right? When she told me this I laughed it off and said something like "well go baby" said in a joking way, this is what i'd normally do when she's home although I'm not so sure jokingly encouraging it is the right play while she is away and will be seeing the enemy most days... What do you think?

Cheers mate!

i think you've got all the right moves and tools so far.

just don't overthink this.

attitude of plenty, not scarcity.

always remember that.

inner game.

if she cheats...who cares?

it truly doesn't matter.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Just wanted to thank you for your help so far Mack, you've been a champion, I meant to thank you earlier but I was going to wait till I had another question however things seem to be going pretty good SPAM.

I think the key to keeping this relationship strong is INNER game! I can't let my head play games with me. It is hard though, she's been going out a bit recently and told me about various guys trying to hit on her or buying her drinks which always sucks to hear but I expected it. It's very hard not to show how jealous it makes me hearing about this, but I think I do an alright job. I've never had to place so much trust in someone especially after only dating them for a few months.

I took your advice and threw in a jealous story about one of the girls I saw over the weekend, it seemed to have the desired effect with her saying she never usually gets jealous... I'm thinking I might drop the J bomb more often if she's going out and getting hit on frequently just so she knows I also have as many options as she does. Good idea?

By the way, an interesting side question... Do you ever tell your girl about pick up? When she was telling me about one of the guys attempts at picking her up I told her what he was doing wrong and she was fascinated at what I said When she asked me where I learnt it I just said it was psychology and didn't mention it was pickup. Just curious if you've ever told a girl you're seeing about pick up and how she reacted

Mack, you've given the best advice on this forum, but are you that removed in the 'who cares?' department? I dunno, it's just difficult to be distant if you're invested. Props to you if you can do it, though.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

i appreciate your question.

and rather than giving you a half-off-the-cuff response or sarcastic response,

i will actually address it.

because not only do you raise a valid point, but one of the key points in this whole business.

"the who cares" department...

it is kind of a creepy and cold concept.

and it means something different to almost everyone who considers what exactly does that mean to him or her...

i've been in an inner game anabolic growth phase lately.

part of my concept (as of late) is that...

- you are alone when you are born, alone when you die, and truly the entire span between

- given that fact, you have to be completely fulfilled in and of yourself, and can not rely on someone else to 'complete' you

- this girl is a blessing while she is in your life and while she is a blessing, once she ceases to be that and is exposed as a fraud, then "it doesn't matter" because you are then losing the following:

1. someone you don't need as you are complete and fulfilled in yourself

and

2. someone who was a fraud and a caricature of a woman who didn't really exist

no big loss.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

You are the wisest person I've ever not met.

But are these women really frauds? Or are they really completing you, but only for a short while? Ah, the internet. Typing this out instead of over drinks in a bar.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

it's funny. because you have the cojones to call me out on my lazy word choices. lol.

i agree with you.

and i would say they are blessing you, never completing you.

as you are already complete.

now, to step away from the zen buddhist persona for a minute.

i would say that well over 90% of people are fraudulent.

for the most part, people are sickening.

especially if you rely on them for anything.

but don't take my word for it....

do a tally count for yourself.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Wow you guys are getting deep, I love it! I love Macks idea of "not caring if she cheats" this is a great way of thinking about it and whenever I've had insecure thoughts I've just thought "who cares if she cheats there's plenty of other attractive girls out there who would not cheat and are waiting to be picked up." Macks advice is priceless.

Agreed, if it doesn't work out they are a fraud in your mind as she obviously is not the perfect girl you thought she was.