I was chatting to a number of girls today in my local shopping centre, and I got a security guard coming up to me to say that a woman had complained to the centre saying that I had "freaked her out".
A few minutes later two police officers spoke to me about it. But I wasn't arrested or anything.

Below I've pasted the relevant part of my blog entry that describes what happened, and the full version is at:

http://geekymicky1.blogspot.com/2011/12 ... place.html

What do you think I might have done wrong here? (I was trying to overcome approach anxiety using a direct approach rather than trying to take things too far).

Thanks



...Then into BHS where I approached two ladies eating some snacks in the BHS canteen. "What brings two attractive young ladies into a place like this?" I opened with.
They replied "what's wrong with this place" so I replied that actually this is not such a bad place at all.
I didn't progress the conversation because I began to suspect that it was a mother and daughter, and I'm not too keen on the dynamics of that situation (they were both over 18). So I asked them whether they had had a nice Christmas, and then changed the subject asking they whether the canteen was still open, as I needed to get a drink. They said yes they think it was, so I left to grab a diet coke.
On purchasing the coke I had a very nice bit of banter (completely non relationship stuff) with the older lady serving, and then I was off into the main BHS store.

Around the corner was a nice girl hanging up some clothes so I said she was very attractive. "Thanks" she replied.
"oh but do you work here?"
"Yes" she replied.
"Oh" I replied, "I was only looking to chat up customers not staff".
She looked a little crestfallen. I realised I had probably made a slight mistake, and tried to back-peddle. But I realised this one was probably no good, so I left the store. It's a numbers game, so there is no point in trying too hard with a single woman; also a good idea to try to avoid "oneitis" as well.
I should remind readers of this blog that I am trying to only chat up members of the public, not staff, because staff have a duty to be nice to people, and that might give me false confidence in what I am doing.

I sat down on some chairs outside the store.

A few minutes later a security guard came up to me and asked whether I had been into BHS asking a lady whether she was in a relationship. I said yes I think I did, and I've been trying to chat up women all afternoon.
He said that she complained to the centre that it freaked her out a bit.
Oops!
I replied that it wasn't my intention to freak her out.
He said that I should stop doing this, and that he didn't want that kind of activity in the centre.
I said that it wasn't my intention to freak her out, and that I was doing a course in how to chat up women.

Damn I knew that might happen!
Or at least my negative thought-patterns in my head had predicted it.
The way I'm thinking about this is that the woman who made the complaint was not wholly correct. I hadn't asked her whether she was in a relationship. And I was wrong to have confirmed this. She seemed to be foreign, and I think she perhaps was not used to a culture whereby guys can go up to her and try to chat her up.
Also I suspect she fancied me, without realising it, and was angered that I walked away as I did.
But what she didn't know was that my mission was not to chat her up, but rather to deal with my approach anxiety.
I think I was just unlucky, because there is nothing inherently freaky or wrong about my approach. Or is there??

But for the rest of the day (it is 17:25 as I type) I'll avoid the cameras of the shopping centre by only chatting to women inside shops. They'll be watching me...


18:10pm: Well I guess I should be glad that I'm not typing this from the inside of a police cell. For what happened next is that they did track me as I walked into my next stop, Waterstones bookshop.
After finding no women in there at all, I decided to chat to the girl serving behind the counter. A very nice 21 year old, studying media studies at a university, she said. Yes I know she was staff, but I was determined to keep my confidence up after that criticism by the centre guy.
I broke off the chat when her (male) assistant turned up.
A minute later two police officers came in and asked to speak to me. They said they had had reports of a man harrassing a number of women in the shopping centre during the afternoon, and that he had just been seen walking into this shop.

What the #!*$%?

I replied that I had certainly been chatting up a number of women, but not harrassing them.
I stated that I was aware of one complaint because a member of centre staff had approached me a quarter of an hour ago about it.
"Have you had several complaints" I asked.
"Well I'm not sure" they replied, "the shopping centre just said that there had been complaints from shoppers" before correcting himself to say that there might only have been one, and that things might have been lost in translation.

Anyway they checked my ID, and suggested that Boxing day afternoon might not be the best time to chat to women in this way. What's wrong with boxing day I asked, but didn't get a response.
I confirmed with them that was not committing an offence, and told them that I would continue to chat to women in this fashion, but that I would take extra care not to upset them.
(although the reality is that I don't know what I did wrong here, but hey ho), and they left me in peace.
But not until after I'd treated them to a 5-minute lecture on the seduction methods of Richard La Ruina, puatraining.com, day game, night game, and overcoming approach anxiety (AA). I'm sure he'd love that kind of publicity (not!).

And the female officer was a bit of a babe.. Though I thought it better not to tell her this.

As I followed the police officers out of the shop, they shook hands with one of the male members of staff. I put my hand out as well, but he wouldn't shake mine!

lol

women routinely cry to authority figures.

security guards

police

bouncers

librarians

daygame where these figures don't exist, and you won't have a problem

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Sounds like you are approaching with no real game plan and just hoping for the best, I may be stating the obvious here but if you are freaking women out to the point that they report you to the Police you might want to rethink your approach technique. Heres a good idea for a woman who works in a clothing store. Go over non threatening, friendly, confident and not weird and say "Hi im looking to buy a new shirt and id like to get a female perpective" after that bingo you are in a conversation with her. Talk about different fashion trends and then move the conversation on to something else. Look for IOI's build rapport and then go for the number.

Agreed.

I think that my desire to try to act like an alpha male has resulted in me being a little over-confident and a bit brusque with them; treating them like factory animals perhaps.

Can you recommend a good book or website about day game for beginners please. I have read the book "The art of seduction", but there is only one page on day game in it. And that says that day game is an advanced skill. Maybe I'm trying to run before I can walk

I think Adam Lyons is the best. 80% of the stuff I post about is what I have read and learnt from Adam, the other 20% is my own theory and what is natural to me.

Its not a "normal" thing for a guy to go around approaching woman after women. Persoanlly. I don't see it as a bad thing but a lot of people will see it as something strange which scares them. Thats why the call security. People fear pretty much everything now a days.... pretty fucked up.

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Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

LOL... no. Daygame is not an advanced skill.

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Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

Dude! Fuck those people!

Good for you! Keep doing it! Chat up women in front of their faces, honestly! It's not like you're following these women around and they're yelling at you to get away, you're having friendly conversations!

That's all day game is, having friendly, maybe slightly sexual, conversations!

They're hating, keep doing you, don't listen to any of it. Yeah maybe your game isn't perfect yet, if you creeped someone out, but who could expect it to be?

For a great look at day game, search "sasha pua" on youtube. He has a long video that shows both his successes and his failures, and there are many failures.

I feel for you dude, you're having enough trouble trying to play the numbers game that women force us guys to play, and then to rub salt in the wounds they try to get you in trouble with the police! Good thing you weren't actually arrested :-O

It's funny how when a hot guy approaches a girl, it's romantic, but when an average guy approaches her, it's stalking. Preumably if an ugly guy approaches her it's outright rape!

Thanks very much for the moral support on this one. I needed it!
I'm going to try again tonight in a shopping centre in Brighton (in the UK), so wish me luck.
I'll go in with an indirect approach until I've got her somewhere towards the hook point, and then try direct again "had to talk to you are you are a very attractive woman" etc etc.

Cool! Good luck man, keep it up.

Feel free to message me anytime you feel the need.

wow, some women are just bitches.
reminds me of one experience i had. back when i was like 18 or 19 I went to the mall with my sister. my sister was trying on a dress in a fitting room and I was just waiting around. This bitch that was a customer there thought i was being a creep hanging out by the women's fitting rooms and they called security.
I applaud you for having the balls to approach so many women. this kind of thing is bound to happen. some women are just bitches.

lol security came to get me and my girlfriend out of a women's dressing room once.

I think generally speaking in a shopping center or Mall you need to be a little bit more discrete with your approach. In the street you can do a big impressive stop where you jump infront of the girl but this is a bit much in a closed space like a Mall. Stopping moving girls brings a lot of attention to you and in a Mall you keep passing the same people and they are going to see you doing this over and over again.

In the streets you're free to do what you want but in a Mall security are perfectly entitled to throw you out if they think you are causing a scene. In this environment I quite like following girls into shops and then when they stop to look at clothes etc to say "excuse me I just noticed you outside and blah blah blah". This is very discrete and passers by barely notice what you are doing.

I feel you on this one. As a 12 year pick up artist and 10,000 approaches, these kinds of things can and do happen, but they are somewhat rare. I myself run into a situation like this once every 1,000 approaches. Sadly, women will lie. Yes, there is such a thing as a mean girl or a bully girl.

I've never been arrested. Best thing to do is hold your ground. Let the police or security know, in a kind way, that you are trying to learn how to be a pick up artist (even if you're a veteran) and that you meant no harm to anyone. Then leave the area. It would also be a good idea to stay away from that area as there are many places in your city to game women.

Also, it's a good idea to move around a bit more. If you stand on the same street corner day after day, eventually the police are going to give you the business. It's the same inside a mall. If you hang out in the mall all day picking up on women, the security will kick you out.

What I do is I move around the city streets quit a bit. I might cover a 10-12 block area in a two hour period. The next day I will move to a completely different area of the city. Trust me, friends, if you stay in the same area day after day you're going to get the business from the police or security. Fortunately, there are very few day game pua's that haven't had a run-in somewhere. This can happen to even the best looking pua's. Trust me, I have read blogs from many pua's in America and Europe. So, yeah, don't take it too hard if it happens to you. Just use your brain and wits and you'll keep these sorts of problems to a minimum.

If you're worried about police harassment then become a night-time pua. Of course there are other problems in clubs; drugs, fights, ass-hole bar-tenders, bully bouncers, the list goes on. I guess you should just pick your poison, but don't let any of these things deter you from being a pua.