So to set the scene, had been dating girl exclusively for 4 months when she left on holiday she had booked before we got together, the holiday will last 2.5months. We had our I love you's before she left and she is very into me. Before she left I gave her the option several times to be single when she left and maybe get back together if I was still around when she got back but she really wanted to stay together so that's what we're doing.

She's been gone a few weeks now and things have been going well, we've spoken to each other everyday and I know she's still really into me. Rearranging her day just so she can call me when I'm free (no I didn't ask her to), saying she misses me and loves me and can't wait to get home blah blah blah. I never call her, she always calls me and I rarely text her first. But she said something on the phone which really got me pissed off though I didn't show it. We were talking about a friend and I said that he was really whipped and then she said jokingly "and you're whipped cause you're waiting for me." (as in waiting till she gets back from her holiday). I was shocked when she said this and said "well you're waiting for me too so it works both ways." She then freaked out and said sorry repeatedly and that she didn't mean it and it was a horrible thing to say, and that her heart was beating like crazy. I just laughed it off and said jokingly "well if you really feel that way I don't have to wait for you." We then moved on after she said sorry another few times and the rest of our conversation was normal.

I know I'm likely over-exaggerating the comment and I'm sure she was just messing around as we do a lot but I know if a girl truly thinks her man is whipped it's likely the relationship will go downhill so her comment is bugging me the more I think about it. It's annoying me so much I almost considered texting her just after the call telling her I don't have to wait and remind her I was the one suggesting we be single while she was away.

What would you do to reinforce in her mind that you're not whipped? I think I'll freeze her out, not communicate with her for the next day (we've spoken everyday so far), and subtly make her aware I've been hanging out with other female friends to create some jealousy? What do you guys think? I was also considering bringing it up next time I speak to her and letting her know that I don't have to wait for her and I would still be fine if we were single whilst she is gone???

Bad idea. This will give her the green light to fuck other dudes while she's away.

How old is she? Where is she and with whom?

How was sex before she left? Do you lick her asshole? Does she come when u guys fuck? Do you call her a whore when you fuck her? Do you come all over her?
Bad idea. It tells her that her comment got to you. Best is to just let it go, be aloof and ignore her comment. She apologized. What more do you want? She was just messing around. She calls everyday. So far, she hasn't fucked anyone. When you notice she skips a day or two, that's when you should suspect something is wrong and that she's thinking about fucking another dude.

If that's the case, there's not much you can do about it.

Your best plan is to go out and really get another woman, instead of telling her you went out with another woman. If she fucks another dude, her loss.

I would just play it off and say "the only thing getting whipped is your pussy when you get back, now go rub one out and send me a pic of that juicy thing!"

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

You're really letting this girl get to you just drop it.


And to Richard Pryor just shut it seriously

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I had a similar set of circumstances a year ago, but I was away. I had been with her for 5 months before I went away for a month. We had a massive argument 2 days before I left.

I communicated with her once or twice a week while I was traveling. When I got back she thought it was over because of how little I spoke to her while away,It was just because of how busy my itinerary was, 6 countries and 11cities in 4 weeks,even though I reassured her when we did speak, but as soon as we hooked up when I got back, it was all on again.

Woman are very emotional and irrational when it comes to this sort of thing so I would speak a little less, because you are acting whipped in my opinion, you just got the compliance tested.

Tease hr with sexual innuendo, keep your conversations short, act busy and let her know what you will do to her when she gets back.

Don't freeze her out, don't deliberately get her overtly jealous. Remember the guy she was attracted to when you met, is the guy she wants to communicate with and be with.

So relax and don't think about it so much.

Good Luck

What do you mean? The ass licking?

I can't believe this. EVERYWHERE I go there's Richard...and ass licking. This is hilarious. Text removed by moderator for violation of the forum rules. Your next violation may result in a ban from the forum. Haha.

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In response to Richard:

She's 21, so yes youngish, and I realize likely to fall in and out of love very quickly but SPAM I seem to be the flavor she's digging. She's travelling with her sister.
Sex is often and always good, I always ensure she comes and she has said I'm the only guy that's been able to make her come (and yes I believe this as I put a lot of work into ensuring she gets there).
No.
Dirty talk takes place a little, yes.
Sometimes.

G-force, great advice cheers! Wise wise words. I've been using this advice and its been going well, I feel I am back in a much more powerful position and really truly driving the relationship. The last line about remembering the guy that I was when we started dating is very important advice, simple, but exactly what I need to keep doing. Thanks for the help mate!

This is really not that much of a big deal, you're exaggerating lol just drop it. That was disrespectful of her though, I would get pissed if she didn't say sorry but come on man, it seems like she cried her heart out to you, it really shows how much she's into you. Forgive but don't forget and remember, there is a bit of truth in every joke

lol. I'm with you Paris

I think in your scenario, she was shit testing you for a very different reason. Sometimes, in a most perfect relationship, a girl will insult her boyfriend NOT to flush out his betaness, but rather to gain more commitment from him or to tone down his Alphaness. You'll see it all the time in couples where the girl is much more interested than the guy.

"Relax, you're not that good looking"
"Why are you so cocky all the time?"
"No, you couldn't do better than me."

She knows she's lying, she's just tossing chum at you to see how you react. There are two ways that I think you should handle this.

(1) OCCASIONALLY do what you did. Nuke the situation and remind her of your omniscient status over her existence. Don't do this too often or it'll end up looking like you lack state control. You don't want to be that kid who just loses his fuse to quickly, you want to be that guy she hates pissing off.

(2) All the other times, toss her hurdles aside because they don't affect you. Remember that if you let what she says get to you - regardless of how you handle it - you've failed her shit test. The idea is to remain IN CONTROL, AMUSED MASTERY + ALOOFNESS. That cool-and-calm-as-fuck-Alpha-dominant-attitude that she secretly looks up to. Respond with sarcasm like:

"You're waiting cuz you're whipped too"
"Waiting? I just had 4 hookers over to play twister"

Responding with "I don't have to wait" conveys a bitter attitude that reflects an internal state that got shook from what she said. Don't make things into a big deal, everything must dissolve away into insignificance around the reality you have constructed around yourself.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

what an insult to your manhood. when you do smash you better make her regret having ever said those words. she will never question your authority again. unless you suck... then... ouch i just stubbed my toe.