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Posted this in the greeting section but I figure i'll get more help here
My problem is after I get a # from a girl or a fb or anything I seem to somehow kill it. I'm a pretty attractive guy and women generally seem to really like me but somehow I screw it up. Generally If I get a # from a club i'll talk to the girl for a day or 2 then ask her if she would want to hangout sometime. Is this coming on too strong? Sometimes she'll just slowly stop answering texts before this as well as if I wasn't coming on strong enough...I think :S Should I be building more of a connection? any helps great, Thanks
I'm also reading the book 'rules of the game' and learning a lot. I'm on day 9 of the challenges so far and it's going pretty good
Rules of the Game will help you out a lot!!
There are a couple of considerations for getting a girls #. First of all you can get a # in set just right after attraction is built. However, if you really want to reduce her flakiness you want to hang out in set a good 15 minutes after going over "connection" comfort building stuff. Too many guys get a # and run off once they have their proverbial "trophy" and the girl feels bad. Others just run off cause they have gone as far as they can in set and are out of routines.... Not saying you do this but just getting past the common mistakes with getting a #.
Another reason for this is you doing more rapport building up front is going to give you "real" topics to discuss with her on the phone or via text. Not just basic pickup routines but really getting to know her type stuff that you can build a relationship off of.
If you can stay in set with the girl even longer than that and maybe try to isolate her or bounce her to another venue, get coffee, dessert, or to eat. That's another great way to further rapport.
In addition to that, of course if you get a # make sure to strike while the iron is hot. Don't wait days to message her back. If you get a # text her that day or night to say, "Pleasure meeting you" or to maybe bring up some joke that you all shared in set. Just keep it quick.
Then of course the next day or if you want to wait 24 hours you can. But then after that use calling and texting to further build your connection so that by the time you ask for a date she's comfortable with you. She knows things about who you are, what you like doing, maybe about your family a little bit, etc. She has a good wide array of things she can talk about you with on the date....
When guys get the # and don't build a connection and/or keep building attraction once they have a # and not really building a connection and you ask for a date the girl thinks to herself. "Gee he's an attractive guy, but I don't really know him. And what are we going to talk about while we are out...." In order to avoid that bit of akwardness she doesn't respond or she denies your request.
Not saying you do these things or you don't but generally speaking one or more is why guys have trouble with girls flaking on them after a #.
Jon
CHAT