Hi guys

I'm curious how you guys handle the scarcity mentality and not falling into the trap of dwelling on 'that one girl' you could've gotten and make your life wonderful - if only you had your game on perfectly but didn't, then beating yourself up for it.

reframe that helps me - She had her chance on this amazing package (i.e..myself) that could've changed her life for the better, too bad she just couldn't see it at the time and now she's missing out on it forever.

Feel free to add to this

That's very good reframing. Mainly that's it. we can also add that:
You should never forget what your worth and i'm sure, since your here and there for trying to emprove yourself, a great person.
You shouldn't forget either that their is not one girl made for you, and you will meet someone later on in life that will be more speacial that this girl you missed out on or rather who missed out on you
It helps to spend time with freinds, do what you love, do what your good at, or jsut giving yourself time to grive. It would not be a sign of weekness. The loss of someone we invested in emotionly, even if only for a short while is not an easy thing to digest. So grief is normal.
Don;t try to get back on the saddle if your not ready. It will lead to disaster. But if your sure your ready go for it as soon as possible.

Yeah I think what you and blue have said already is about it to be honest.

Two things I would add - firstly, I find it often helps when you sit back and think of other people's relationships that have gone wrong. You might think that this one girl is "the one" or whatever. But think of people who were together for months or years. At one point they probably thought their partners were the one too. but after a couple of years they've broken up. So it's not really worth regretting the missed opportunity you had, because it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. That has helped me in the past.

Also, I think it's good to learn from it. Why didn't it work out? Why didn't you make a move? Did you get too hooked up on this one girl before you should have done? Did you freeze because you put her on a pedestal? If you see her as a a learning curve for someone potentially better, that might also help as well.

The above are all great, will keep them in mind just in case I need them. For me, I've been in that spot more than once so now if I feel like it again I just remind myself how I thought that a different girl in the past was 'perfect' and 'the one' and now I no longer want her, hence I will forget about the current girl too.