I've known this girl for 9 months and have feelings for her. I ask her out most of the time and she says maybe etc etc.

We have quite a history and I think she has feelings for me aswell but she was scared because her heart was broken in the past. So this week we have not really been on the same page but she txts me and asks me to call her so I do and right away the phone is into voicemail for 20 minutes! sometimes when I call her the signal goes or she usually puts the phone down when she is bored and then says she has a problem with her phone. I got her on the phone and asked her what was wrong with her phone she says I dunno and then says she wants to go for a drink with me and asks me when I'm free.

I surprised so my voice was a bit shaky and I said "anyday, I've got quite a few days off and friday is good" she goes says friday is good too so I say friday then and she goes "well....I should be able" so because she said that I said "friday is perfect but after the 18th I have alot of days what about you" during this she interupts and goes "shall I let you know" and I didn't answer and continued and she puts the phone down(which she has a fetish for doing) I know she will say it was reception

This girl is driving me crazy. She knows I love her but I was surprised and a little nervous because I didn't expect her to ask. Did I sound like I was assertive or indecisive? She then called(she usually txts me) and when I picked up she didn't speak and put the phone down. I called back and she rejected(seems to be a habit) then later on called twice and she didn't answer. I did sound quite nervous in my voice when she asked me out but it was out of the blue.

It seem like she has you chasing her. You keep falling for her shit.

What shit is that?

I keep up most of the contact yes.

Ah, it sounds like that she has all of the power here, this is not a good place to be in. She seems to enjoy playing games, in which case it's important that you play games as well. I'll offer some advice on this.

You ask her out all the time and she says maybe? Simple, stop asking her out, you're coming across as slightly needy and too available. This is unattractive.

Don't concern yourself with the "heart broken" story, it's of no use to you and is probably an excuse. Discard it from your memory.

She asks you to call her and doesn't answer? Well, that's just bizzare. Don't call her, either ignore the request or send her a text saying you're a bit busy at the moment.

Shaky voice is bad, try to talk deep and smooth, practice makes perfect probably should've gone straight for friday rather than "any day" as this suggests too available, not too much going on in your life i.e. low value.

Also to be honest I don't believe that she really does want to meet you for a drink, the "shall I let you know?" suggests that she's likely to flake. It might be a good idea for you to cancel it before she does, and put her in her place.

However this girl sounds pretty toxic, and generally rather unpleasant. I would avoid investing too much into her, as you're likely to be disappointed. She is obviously very manipulative and selfish. Do not be a doormat, it would be a good idea for you to be selfish as well. While I believe that if you follow my advice above you'll have a better chance with this girl, I think that you should definitely focus your attention elsewhere, and put this one at the lowest priority if you absolutely must continue to contact her.

Good luck

why not go looking somewhere else for love. she is messing with you and it sounds like thats as far as it will go.

i think if you find someone else to talk to you will forget about this girl. if she senses you have moved on im willing to bet she will take you a little more serious.

_________________
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War

I spoke to her yesterday and said when would she be free and said I was next week and she was like "its christmas next week though, oh we will just figure out when we are both free then we will go out" she was quite abrupt also.

Strange really. Last week she was all flirty and then as soon as I mentioned meeting she just got weird.

Cool, so you decide to ignore all advice and continue doing exactly what you're doing. :/

sounds like a horrible case of one-itis to me , In my opinion though this one isn't worth the chase right now , she's just pulling cat-string on you to boost her own self confidence while you pay the price

You make the plan and invite...That's it. Do something cool that you think she would enjoy based on your knowlege of her and maybe give 2 different times you will do it and if she wants to make it she can come along.

Don't leave it up to her at all. You set the time. You got a life, and are active and doing your own thing whether she is coming or not you are going to have som fun with or without her...That simple.

Sounds like you got pleanty of spare time so use it cruising for another if this one does not work out. Also look objectively at your whole game. If you are policing that up ad are confident you should not get strung along like this.

I've brought up going out this week(told her when I was free) and she mentions she is going to be with family most days. She said "if anything, ill call you" which just made me feel she was brushing me off as ONLY txts me and never calls. I feel like my life with her is hard{the way it is) but life without her would be hard also. I'm stuck....and feel that we could have something special. She told me once she wouldn't date me as I was a work colleague, but I've not been working with her since October. Even if we were friends, we could still meet but we don't. She just drops the odd txt with kisses, flirts with me the odd time on the phone, calls me darling,babe and that's it.

Ok, well in reading what is going on here I think you need to Isolate first, and get it to where you ane her ahve 15 minutes of uninterrupted face time. Let her know how you feel which is:

You like her, and are interested in a real date.

Would like to talk to her over text her

And call her out on this behaviour...You don't need to be blowing time dwelling on her and you should be going for some other girl. Don't forget to look within yourself and understand that typically people want what they cannot have ....So if you know you can't have or get this girl then she is that much more attractive to you....I get hit with this at times as well. You need to understand that tendancy and not let it have power over you. So what I am saying is be a true PUA and work other girls as well...not just angle for this one.

Enough said on that.

Thanks.

How often should I be callinb weekly and what types of things should I talk about? I've known her since Feb 2011(although she is a real dark house and there is so much more to her) so I run out of things to talk about. All we need is a bit of time alone, something she never really gave me, and the few times we did have it, we got on so well. She might be scared that we got on well, and probably thinks I'm needy for her.

Open ended questions...Think beyond Hi how are you, and how have you been. All girls get that...and it is not something you can escalate sexually...usually. Don't forget we are after at the end of the day here so that must be the goal so be tactical in your questions.
If she likes movies you can ask her what kind of actress she would want to play in a movie? And listen...Try to convert the discussion to a sexual angle and work in a compliment...and then negs in thre as well. Be playfull and push pull. This will let you discuss sex in a relaxed way and you can ease on into it and learn something about this girl in the process.

Again...Open ended questions that can be maneuvered into something sexual. It has to be a positive subject. Try to redirect if she wants to talk about an ailing Grandma, or pet's...or food.. whatever.

To gage interest get her to call you...Be dominant at some point...That is where you have to get to.

She returns my calls alot these days, but still dodges me when I suggest meeting up.

She returned my call and we spoke and she said she was in my town(probably a lie) and I asked her if any bars were open then she should let me know and she said she would but never did.

So why would she do this, some weird attempt to look like she is making some effort or just to make it seem as if she was in my area and didn't want to see me? we were teasing eachother aswell because I told her I would spank her when I found her and she said "when...you find me"