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Been going out with this woman for 3 months. She works crazy hours and is a professional athlete, meaning she’s always tired. Also, she lives with her parents despite being 33 years old. She has a curfew.
I almost never see her during the week, except at the gym maybe or we walk our dogs. On the weekends we have sex, which is awesome, but she never spends the night because of her parents.
She’s not an affectionate person. We never hold hands, she never kisses me except when we’re about to have sex.
She is the one that initiates contact 90% of the time, though. She sends txts first during the day, etc. At least a 3:2 ratio... more like 3:1.5
This week I wanted to test her. I didn’t answer her call on Thursday night because I knew we weren’t gonna go out and I wanted her to maybe think I was out. Friday night I didn’t ask her out (she worked Saturday 7am). She did send a txt.
Yesterday she made it pretty clear she wanted to see me, so I told her to come over.
I made it a mission that she was the one who had to initiate sex. An hour passed and she made no effort to kiss me. I stood my ground.
A while later this male friend from work called. She asks me if I want to meet him. He was playing pool at some place. She mentions that he has a dog named Roxy, and I asked if he was gay. She says, “I don’t know. Maybe, now that you mention it.”
He keeps txting her, and she’s like “so you want to go? You don’t have to if you don’t want to” and I thought well the guy is gay, so what the hell.
Big mistake.
We got there and there was this guy, a loser really, but with decent looks. Not gay at all. He was negging my woman, teasing her, being playful. Didn’t pay much attention to me. I’m thinking, “why did I agree to this. Never again.”
There weren't any women at the bar, so I couldn't hit on anyone. I stood there like a jerk while the guy threw popcorn at my woman.
After 2 drinks she tells me lets go, so we left.
I was pretty quiet during the ride back. She asked me if I was ok, I said yes. When we were getting near my house I unfastened my seatbelt. She didn’t make any effort to go in “is it ok if I drop you here?” “yeah, here’s perfect.” I got out of the car and said bye without giving her a kiss or anything, not even eye contact.
She calls me 5 minutes later and asks me what’s wrong with me and asks me if I want to tell her something? I said as a matter of fact I did, and she said go ahead. I told her I’d rather tell it to her face, and she said she was downstairs and that she was coming up.
When she got up she asks if I was gonna break up with her, and I told her yes. She asks if it was because she lived with her parents, and I said “listen, your work hours are crazy, you get in every day at either 5am or 7am, and on the days that you don’t get in early, you have a 1am curfew. Honestly, I don’t think you're ready for a relationship.”
She was looking at me very serious. But she said “ok” and left. That’s the way she rolls.
Truth is I didn’t tell her a lot of other reasons why I think this relationship isn’t working for me. She’s not affectionate, I feel like I constantly need to be playing games with her even though we’ve been going out for 3 months (constant shit tests, she likes to be Alpha), sex only once a week, she's always tired, because of her diet we can't go out to dinner, etc, etc.
I’m pretty down right now. Last night I thought about writing her an email telling her the real reasons why I was breaking up with her because the fact is, she can’t change her work hours or curfew (reasons I gave her for breaking up) but she could change the other stuff that bothers me (being affectionate, more sex, etc). But this morning I came to my senses and figured that wasn’t such a good idea.
Also, I’m wondering how I should proceed here. Obviously with the holidays coming, it would be nice to have a girl I can spend time with. What if she calls me and tells me she wants to talk? Should I tell her about her not being affectionate, etc?
Honestly, she sounds like an absolute nightmare, once you meet someone else you'll wonder why you put up with her for so long!
CHAT
